Do You See What I See?

I have seen some crazy things lately. There really is no way to say them except to just blurt them out.
1. A portable tattoo machine has been invented. If you have a tattoo gun you can take it on the road. You can get one in the park, you can get one in the dark. How about your living room??...ok that works.
2. Everyone that smokes can live in one apartment building.
3. Your grill or mine? Just because it's on a public patio that doesn't mean you can use any grill you want to. In the next few minutes, the real owner will come wielding a big machete and cut some meat. You don't want to be using THAT grill when that happens.
4. There is no east baggage claim area at DIA in the "C" concourse.
5. Anything can happen when it's shark week on the Discovery channel.
6. I think someone should sell a "Men of Denver" calendar. I have seen three candidates for it, one stellar one called "Sentinel"
7. Pilots are very wise and know about spatial disorientation.
8. Saying Good-byes are very hard. Whether you are going back home or moving to Africa.
9. I still have the lung power of a 16 year old.
10. Offer someone a swatch of carpet, be careful, they will take you up on it.
11. "Mom" pants are making a comeback...and I hate that.
12. If you are overweight, a tiny bikini is not your best look.
13. 100 SPF is now available for the fair skinned.
14. There are no baby car seats and baby strollers, just baby travel systems.
15. True happiness can be bought for one dollar.