It's what I prayed for

Colossians 3:12  "Therefore, as God's chosen people holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

I admitted to my friend that I prayed for more patience.  Her response was "Why did you do that?" and then laughed.  She knew already knew my answer.  I am uncovering what godly patience looks like.

It looks like the belly of an undone kitchen, being renovated into something new.  My heart is in the middle of God's patient renovation, He is constructing new patience within me.

The picture above is not my home, but a stripped-down view of what is happening in my life right now.  I am smack dab in the middle of a mess.  A 24-hour, continual mess of a kitchen renovation.  Most days it seems there is no end in sight.  Other days there is a slight glimmer of hope.

One thing is for sure.  I feel displaced.  Like most women, even if you don't like to cook, your kitchen is your space.  Your domain, your place of wellness and where you are at home.  When you are taken out of it, you feel disoriented like there is no clean space in any inch of your house.

Ask anyone of us, she will tell you.

It's kind of a dismal picture actually.  And here I am admitting to you, this little momma in her corner of the country, that I am learning some godly patience.  I don't like God's lessons in this messy middle of His patience.

I am leaning into His everlasting patience with me though.

Living life outside our comfort zones never is comfortable.  It's never convenient and certainly isn't easy.  When you pray for more of God, He doesn't just hand it to you on a clean lacy laden silver platter.  No, He gives it abundantly to you in ways where you can learn more of Him in the circumstances that are around you.

I prayed to learn godly patience as God gives it.  God has given me a extreme lesson in exhibiting godly patience in the life opportunities around me.  One slow stroke of the paint brush, one slow turn of a new screw, one slow plank of a new floor.  One slow patient process.

I have to trust His patient process.

The lessons in this are a slow progression towards Him.  And if my "dreamy-redesign-on-a-dime" kitchen never gets done, may I always know the extent of His true patience with me, so that, I may exhibit His patience in the most loving way.

Appreciate your comfortable places, you never know when God will bring a new lesson to construct or renovate in you.  

Music Monday [Letting Go]

Free falling

The other day I set a Favorite Song Alert to this song...Letting Go by Stephanie Smith.  I don't want to miss this song when it comes on the radio.  It's a reminder of what God is trying to teach me, to let go and trust Him.  So far...and I've read the Book, and in trusting God....He wins everytime.  Daily I get the opportunity to let God control something. I'm pretty sure that is His plan for my life.  The Heavens know that I am pretty good botching things...so I am rather thankful that I can't control my world.  Last time I looked God is doing good at that.  


There are times that I like to think I know what I am doing...and then it's in those times that God will ask me a simple question...Do you trust me?  When you are faced with a closed door, those are hard to handle.  When I can't see the key to unlock the mystery that is Christ, he gently reminds me that I don't have to hold the key just yet.  I just need to hold on for dear life.  


White knuckles are common in my faith rollercoaster ride.  Comfort comes when I know my Master is at the controls.  In letting go it really gives me freedom to enjoy the ride he has mapped out for me.  So yes... it is funny that it feels so good to let go of those petty details that don't matter.   

"A lock without a key

No one no way was ever gonna 

get the best of me

The lines were drawn

But now I'm ready to be free"

In my surrender, God brings freedom.
In my stupidity, God brings wisdom
In my fear, God brings peace
In my loneliness, God brings His presence
In my grip, God brings comfort
In my letting go, God brings control.


Letting go for God's wisdom is a daily priority.  I don't know what I am doing, but as He captivates, He holds my big picture in His heart.  If He has the controls, I don't have to worry.  I know that I couldn't do better than His best.  That's reason enough for me to let go.  He has every part of me in His hands.  He catches me every time, He's always there where I land, even anticipating the point of impact of this free fall from the edge.  


Look out below...


P.S. Here's a video to the song.