My momma said there'd be days like this

photo credit

It's been swirling in my heart lately.  A black cloud of disappointment.  And I don't know why.  And even after I pleaded God's mercies to put feet to my prayers.  Silence.  

"Stay here.  Stay near."

I have to wonder if that is how the children of Israel felt, when they struck out in obedience and didn't know what the next day would hold.  What they had just witnessed was a huge miracle of the waters parting by the very breath of God.  

Their true deliverance from their slavery, their oppressive bondage, had just exploded behind them.  Then their dreams of freedom fell flat upon the banks of the other side, days after their dusty dance across the Red Sea.

From their perspective they were clinging to what the hope words of their leader Moses, lead by the hand of God.  Doubts and despair soon settled into their hearts and mind.  The grumbles and groans were heard by many, and by the Most Holy ears.  It's so true that negative speech spreads quicker than one positive word.

Sometimes, we don't see our ways to freedom when we are surrounded by the enemy's shadows of doubt.  I have to wonder if there wasn't one person who thought deliverance into God's hope-filled promise would have looked a little different or a little grander at the time.

Surely there was one doubter among the clan.  Just one or two?

I have come to understand in our journey of faith, when we trust and obey what God has asked us to do, the enemy is lurking at our thresholds throwing stones of doubt our way to test our hope-resolve and builds barriers that cause us to stumble along the way.

That's where God's promises ring true and faithful.  My momma told me there would be days like this.  I've had to go back to what I know and re-establish my hope-filled promise that God originally gave me that fuels my dream.  I have to go back to my "why".   

Every dream is fueled by a personal festering of a "why-I-do-this".  

But....it's supposed to be easy or come more natural ...right?  And of course, it will look exactly what we think it should!  I have found out these are crafty statements the enemy hisses at you to make you give up when the going gets tough.  Or when it feels like you are the only one who cares about your dreams.   

Oh our wayward minds, we're so silly when we try to put our finite understanding, on God's incredible and infinite mind.  His will is unmovable when it comes to His plans for us.  He's got that all planned out fabulously fine without our measly little details we try to add to it.  He doesn't need our input.

The Israelites didn't see their freedom until God took them a few more legs into their journey of trust.

There are days when my faith journey looks the same doubt-filled path.  Did I do the right thing?  Did I strike out at the right time?  Did I really hear from God right?

My obedience tells me yes.  Obedience at any and every time is right when you are following God.  So in those days when I question my motives I remind myself of my why and that gives me a renewed hope. I feel better prepared now.  I have learned that true hope delights our Father. Disappointment rips away at our faith, so cling to what you know about God, and there you will find your true hope. 

Hebrews 10:23  "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise." (NLT)

In His affection for you, you have His security. All is not lost, but only continuing. Hold to His words for everything else shifts and changes, but His word is firm. It is a rock that shall not be moved and is my firm place to stand. Live in the hope that we have in Christ and it will bring joy to your heart, enough to occupy your worrisome thoughts. Our Father's hope and love keeps us in His peace and rest.

Romans 5:5 "And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."  (NLT)

He is waiting to be asked

Photo credit:  Peter Cook

God wants to help you.  Yes, with everything.

Did you know that He even cares about the little things that are going on in your life?  In your messy life of yesterday, or today?

There is no problem to small for God to handle.

It reminds me of the time when I attempted to clean my writing corner.  There were notes everywhere.  Post-it's loaded with half-thoughts, sentences scribbled on scraps and little slips.   They were everywhere littering my work space.  I had let it go a little too long, the stack was piled high.

Honestly I thought it would have been easier to slide them all into the trash can.  I guess I am a little OCD when it comes to saving every scrap, even napkins with thoughts.  I might use it sometime ya know?  The corner was a little like the leftovers that reside in my refrigerator.  There's a little bit of this and a little bit of that, with verses written quickly.

I could have used some help but didn't ask for any.  It would have taken me half as long to clean it up and organize, sort through and pitch the thoughts that I had no intention of using or didn't make sense.  I could have asked for help and then I could have gotten done quicker.

But I didn't.  I quit half-way through because it was too much.  It was more than I wanted to deal with at the moment.  It was way too time consuming.

How many times do we approach God with those kinds of prayers?  We think he doesn't have time for us or that it would take to long to tell Him how we really feel or that we assume He is too busy to help us?

Have you told him lately what's on your heart?  Why do we struggle with the telling part of prayer?
Why do we think we need to wax poetic or say some eloquent prayer on our knees in some kind of worshipful pose?  Why do we think that God doesn't care?

God is waiting to be asked and invited into your problems, fears and hangups.  He is waiting for us to invite Him in.

When you don't want to ask God first, it means you probably should.  The fact that God doesn't care couldn't be further from the truth.  We should invite into every part of our lives, our day, our hearts.

How else are we going to gain the strength to get to where we are going?
How else are we reminded that we are not alone in this world?
How else can we set hearts on eternity?
How else are can we tap into our Powerful Source?
How else can we experience His beauty in worship?
How else would can feel the love he has for us each and every day?
How else unless He is invited?

I haven't found a better plan than to make God the center of the big things, the small things, the this and that, the scraps of thought, half-sentences and the overwhelming circumstances that plague our days.  I haven't found an refuge in my messy writing corner with notes so jumbled up there, but when I come to God with my little ideas about my life, He straightens everything out.  Especially my perspective, my heart.

He knows that I need to ask Him first, I know that He is waiting to be asked.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, 
the door will be opened."  Matthew 7:7-8  
"Yes, Lord, each and every time like it's a big deal.  I hear You...and I hear your knocking...I invite You in."  

Oh the price of prayerlessness!  

I dare you to say

There are days then I just have to sigh deeply and think there are just those souls who don't get me...

I wish I could say that I reach out to God every time. But sometimes I forget. First comes complaint, then I throw up my hands, then look to God and wonder.

It's when my heart does wander that I find release to let the criticism go, and I can feel it in my heart that helps let His holy shield rise as I obey Him in thanksliving.

What I find that helps to combat my first complaining is a good old fashioned thanksgiving. In reminding myself of God's goodness, I remember how God has been faithful. I dare myself to remember.

I was reminded of this one Sunday as I was having an out of normal church experience as a guest in another fellowship. The speaker challenged me to give thanks first, as a first fruits part of my prayers for the day.

A first fruit gift to the First Fruit.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way:  bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..." ~ Colossians 1: 10 - 12

As I practice this I find that God's favor that rests on my achy heart. And that kind of favor flavor feels kind of good most days. In my obedience to invite Jesus into my day I have more control over my thoughts and speech.  I am giving back to God first fruit, bearing fruitful gratitude of His daily graces.

Did you know that thanksliving would make such a difference? I didn't until I started to discipline myself to be thankful.

Thankfulness is a practice and it takes practice, it doesn't come naturally. You have to fight the tide of discontent to bring it to the forefront of your thoughts. It is a way to invite the friendliness of Jesus behind the enemy lines of battle, and He takes captive each and every one of those complaints that slip into your mind.

I dare you to take this counting-of-graces challenges in your quiet place every day. I dare you to make a list of God's faithfulness and then come away from that list with at least one happy thought.  Make a daily list of His daily graces.

I dare you to come up with at least one.

As I wander more in wonder of what the God of the universe has done for me, I am scrambling for more journals. What I do know is that if I want to see change in my attitude, the change has to begin with me. I have to be the change I would like to see in others.

To bring change I have be changed. To remember the grace of the Lord changes my perspective.

I dare you to start your day with praise and thanksliving, just start ...pound the doors of Heaven down upon your heart.

Life-changing perspective. I dare you.

Rest assured, you're heard

I was helping my sweet friend with her dishes.  I was telling her a few things that I had been praying through and some answers where I felt God's leading.  She was quiet, patient, and methodical with her hands while I shared.  She heard my heart.  

She listened.  She heard.

Ask any woman.  When we have a conversation with you, we just need to know that you hear us.  We know you can't fix the problem most times, but there is one thing you can do to help.

You can listen.  Intentionally.

You can catch our words.  You don't have to use the gears of "I-need-to-fix" mentality and just intentionally listen.

Listening well is a gift.  My friend offered me a great gift that day.  Her ears heard my heart and her heart was open to the listening.  That meant so much that she wasn't trying to change me.  That's one thing us gals really need.  This might make you uncomfortable because you do like to help us so much.  What we really need is just to unfold our hearts to another person who will just hear us.  It gives us some assurance that our emotions are kept near.  

Hugs work too...I know...I just sent you over the edge of awkward.

My friend did a beautiful thing that day, more than cleaning the dirty dishes that stacked high.  She just let me spill my girly guts.  

In her listening, I exchanged my worries for quiet strength.  Assurance that my feelings were valid, that God was in control, that peace comes when fear is removed.  

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  ~ Micah 7:7

There is a peace that assures our hearts when we know that we are heard.  

The One who hears can heal us.   The Fixer listens intently.     

God listens.  Peace comes, assurance settles deep.  

I watch in hope, I watch for Hope.
I listen intently to His voice as He cleans up my dirt.

When Avery Comes To Play

Mr. Avery

I love spending time with my precious little gramson Mr. Avery.  He normally hangs out in with his mommy and daddy in Colorado.  But for a few weeks, they have been staying in Oklahoma for a visit.


When I am greeted with his little 18-month-old-baby-boy-smile it is enough to change the tone of my day.  Nothing else matters at the moment you are embraced with the pure love of a child.  I like to bend down on his level so he can see my smile too.  His eyes are a beautiful blue.

The funny thing is that when I bend down to look into his face, he bends down too.  Mr. Avery loves to imitate.  And he will walk bent as long as I am in the same position.  This baby picture reminds me of how God hears our prayers.

"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; 
give ear to me and hear my prayer."  Ps. 17: 6

When we pray we can be assured that He does indeed hear our prayers.  

What matters to us, matters to God.  

He cares about it all. 

He knows it all.  

God answers it all.    

What I love about this verse is that God listens.  He gives ear to or pays special attention to our words, our tears, and even our sighs.  I picture Him bending down and listening closely, like I do with Avery.  Like I bend to meet Avery eye to eye, I picture God doing the same.  When I meet His glance, it gives me great peace and comfort.  It's easy to trust the eyes of our Savior, all of life's problems disappear, and His smile changes my tone.

Nothing like the embrace of pure love by your Savior.

His eyes are beautiful.

Dangerous Prayers

Surprise Me God

Some think this is a dangerous way to pray.  

There are times when I pray something and God returns His answers in ways I would have never expected.  It doesn't look the way I thought it would.  

I prayed for humility. I got a lesson where I learned it the harsh way.  

I pray for contentment in Christ. I am overwhelmed with earthly temptations. 

I prayed for the ability to love unconditionally. God puts me in the middle of chaos that would require me to use it over and over.  

I pray for God to be enough. I am put in the "desert" where He has to be.  

I pray for deeper and increased faith. I found myself in situations that required it.

I prayed for hope.  He gave me circumstances that built blind trust.  

Realizing God's answers are not my answers tempts me to stop praying for surprises.    

What I have gained in the chaotic-filled desert journeys have taught me more than I could ever learn if I had lived on easy street.  

Now...I crave those "But God" moments so that He would be revealed in my life.  

I pray dangerously because I find God's faithfulness something I can hope in.  

I find myself with a deep heart faith that may not always see Him working His best in my life, but I will be always looking.  And in whatever happens, I know He has answered with His best for my best.

Dangerous prayers help me become the person God wants.  

My best prayers are often the ones that the Holy Spirit interprets, filters, and presents to God.  He asks exactly what I need even if it’s not exactly what I want (Romans 8:27). It's more than what I could have imagined. 

God’s answers to our prayers should revive and surprise us.    

After all, He is the One who knows all and knows what he is doing.  

He’s been at this business of answering prayers for a long time.  

I challenge you to pray dangerously too.  Surprise us God.  Keep praying and trust that what you receive is exactly what you need, exactly what you ask for, exactly God's best.  

My knowing His answers isn't the point.  

My knowing Him is.  

I am reading a book currently called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  It's all about prayer...it's changing some things....

Do you dare to pray dangerously?

Desert Days

We all have specific seasons that we journey through. Mine seems to be one of dryness... like a desert.  Have you ever felt that way?  


From my prayer journal...


"I yearn for your answers God.  You know my prayers, my hopes, dreams and desires. I long for Your promises to be complete. Sometimes the waiting period seems unbearable.  God your will seems cloudy or unclear. The waiting seems excruciatingly endless."


Perhaps your desire is for your broken marriage to be restored, your rebellious teenager to return or a family member's health to be healed. Maybe you are waiting for the right person to be your soul mate.  You wait. You pray. You wait some more.


The Bible is full of people who waited. Godly people like Abraham and Sarah waited. They had to wait till they were old to have their first child. Joseph was sold as a slave by his own brothers, only to end up in prison for years before his promise of authority became a reality in his life. Why did God make them wait? Why does God allow us to wait?


There can be long periods of waiting for us all in our different situations and circumstances. And in those waiting times our faith is put to the test. I know I get impatient and sometimes doubt. However, I am learning, that in the waiting, there is joy in this journey. Yes, it's possible to be happy in this waiting room we are in.  While waiting I am learning more about who God is.  


Ps. 119:123-124, "My eyes strain to see your deliverance, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled. I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your principles."


One day in frustration I actually cried out loud to God..."I am out of prayers!"  What I really meant was I am out of words.  I have prayed circles around some of my concerns. I know that God has heard me, and as I dried my tears, my course of action was clear.  

I must have blind faith in His time.  

My need to wait overrides my need to understand.

My need to control takes a back seat to His omnipotence.  

My need to understand is overshadowed by His peace.

My next step is illuminated as I surrender to full trust.

My need to feel complete is waived as He weaves a beautiful tapestry.    

As my eyes strain to see His promise, I have hope and joy as I wait to see His plans unfold. My raw dependence on His strength carries me through. 

Dear God... perfect your faith in me no matter...how long it takes.  

Have you had to wait on God for a specific answer to prayer?  What did you learn in your waiting?