For your worst day ever

Photo provided by Little_Karen

This blog title is written on page 481 in my Bible as a sub-title over some very comforting words. I have read it many times and have underlined practically all of it. Each time I read the eleven verses, I find strength and comfort. I have to admit I read it on my non-worst days too. 

There are many hurting hearts today, hearts that are facing the loss of life, property and faith. I can't help but offer you encouragement during this difficult time, as these eleven verses have captured my heart and offered hope in some of my most lonely and desolate days. I don't know what you are going through personally but I have weathered some storms in my own life and have needed a strong anchor to keep me grounded.  These eleven verses are a strong reminder of God's presence and tender love for me.

My prayer is that this helps you on your worst day, whatever you are facing today.

Psalm 46

1. God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

2. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3. though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging.

4.  There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5.  God is within her, she will not fall;

God will help her at break of day.

6.  Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;

he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7.  The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8.  Come and see what the Lord has done,

the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9.  He makes wars cease

to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the shields with fire.

10.  He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

11.  The Lord Almighty is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

When sorrow shapes my faith, I can only turn to the One who is Faithful.  When tragedy shakes my life circumstances, I can only run to the God is who is unshakable.  When I don't understand the 'whys', I can only sit at the feet of my mighty and powerful God who has a grander purpose in pain.  When you have a bad day and wonder what's coming next, look to Jesus who knows what you are going through.  He will never leave you alone on your worst day.

Grace therapy

There's a friend in my life who just gives me a lot of grief with the comparisons she always gives. 

I try my best but still she points out that something is wrong. Her words echo… "Not good enough."

I could dress my best and she will whisper, "Nice, but not as nice as hers."

I mess up and let my clumsy words tumble out and she says, “well, that hurt, I could have said it better!”

The list of unwholesome negatives goes on and on.

Who is this girl?  If you and I were friends with her, wouldn't we want to put a stop to that relationship?  Let's be honest about her...some days she lives a little on the snarky side.

And when I part company with her, I am the one who comes away feeling like I will never measure up.  Day after day of spending time with that "friend", well it can wear a friendship out.  

Want in a little secret? ...yeah…you guessed it….. that "friend" is me, my negative self-talker friend.

Am I the only one who is at the back of this line for a little grace?

Ashamedly I have had these conversations with myself all too often. 

Those around me say, "Give yourself a little grace." Yep, sounds good, but it’s hard to do. I think what they really mean is that "please just give yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself". And that maybe true, but I don’t really think that is God’s answer. Only God is the Grace giver.  And only His truth can combat this daily battle.

Is it about giving ourselves grace or is it really about receiving grace from God?

Grace says, "Yes, you messed up. But I forgive you.”

Grace says, “Yes, you have lost weight, but I loved you 50 lbs ago. I am still bringing you into my perfect beauty.”

Grace says, “When you bow to others to approve you then you don’t make room in your heart to live from MY approval.”

Grace says, “Even though I know you are kind of a mess sometimes, I give you my Fullness generously.”

God’s.Grace.Matters. God’s grace changes us.

So where in the Bible does it tell me to give myself a little slack?

Ephesians 4:29  "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

God's words to me:  "My child, every time you compare yourself to the next whatever and you come away putting yourself down, that is unwholesome.  I know each time that slips out of your mouth, I know each time you allow that to slip into your heart, and each time it bounces around in your mind.  And when you do that you are telling Me that I am not enough.  Let me remind you....I AM."

You see Grace is just that, a gift that we need daily.  God's grace therapy is needed like a bottle of spilled pills to medicate our lives, each time we are tempted to put ourselves down or when we whisper criticism in our heads.  When snarky falls on our hearts we need to know that we have to get back up to receive God’s grace therapy.  When this broken record keeps playing in our minds, we need to apply wholesome truth to ourselves.  

I am still loved, chosen, cherished by the King. I'm going to get back up and stand firm for Him again by guarding wholesomeness in my mind, body, and soul.  

Only God's grace can change. 

Only grace can quiet the voice within us that pushes us toward wipe-out.

Only grace can reclaim us so that it sustains us. 

Only God's can gracefully return us to where we belong again.  

Only Grace brings us wholeness in Him.

Only God's wholesome grace can benefit.

Only God’s grace therapy tells me the truth about who I am.

It's time to still our hearts, to quiet ourselves and instead listen to grace.  Wholesome Grace Therapy.

Shhhhh….Listen...Do you hear it?

Hit the Goal!

I reached an important milestone over the weekend.

It was a WOW moment for sure.

I hit my goal weight!

There were ups and downs, losses and gains,

the sweat and tears,

from Dec. 2007 to today
and finally...

I have crossed the threshold of my goal weight.

 I have lost 50 lbs since Sept. 24, 2012

which brings a total of 

125 lbs. lost over all.

(Now's the time to throw that confetti you have in your hand)

I am not looking back except to 
 say....Wow...God did this!

How do you celebrate your important milestones?

Help me find it

My co-host, Carder, told me last week  that his mom's quote for his growing up years was "you never know".  I have let that settled a bit in my mind, wondering that phrase.  It speaks to the unknown, the "you-never-know-what's-going-to-happen-next" future.

Honestly that is what has really been on my mind...the future, the today hours that yesterday brought and tomorrow will bring.  One of my fervent prayers is "God, what are you up to?"  At least I know the direction to look.

There have been a lot of things that have become undone in my heart in the last month.  This processing is a good thing, because this is where my healing begins.  I have kind of stopped in my planning of things, filling in the blank spots, and trying to assume I know what God is up too in my life.  If I may be completely honest with you, I have pretty much have laid this "future + my heart" thing on God's altar and asked Him to change me. Completely.  From the inside out from my desperate prayers.

You'll never know of some of the changes that God has done, they are so personal to me but eventually...maybe I can write about them.  They go that deep.  And for the first time, I understand that I don't have to share everything here, because there are some private moments between me and God that I can store up as treasures.  This is how I am finding my writing voice.

What I do hope is that you read is a new confidence, not in my own strength but with Holy confidence in the One I am writing about.

This is not about me, it's about God's journey in me.

This is where I have had to let go of the control of what God can do with a few typed words on a white screen.  Letting go is at the basis of "you never know" when it comes to a lot of things in our daily walk with God.  The important thing to remember is to not let go of His guiding hand and the Heaven-ward faith journey towards God.  When I try to control things, I have my hands on the controlling and make no room for God.  So when I think about the "you never know" aspect, I know I have to let go of control and the unknown. There is a something about that idea, well...it just keeps me undone before God constantly.  

Dave of Sidewalk Prophets writes some words that are still echoing in my heart in this song,

"Help Me Find it"

I don't know where to go from here 

It all used to seem so clear 

I'm finding I can't do this on my own 

I don't know where to go from here 

As long as I know that You are near 

I'm done fighting 

I'm finally letting go 

I will trust in You 

You've never failed before 

I will trust in You 

(Chorus )

If there's a road I should walk 

Help me find it 

If I need to be still 

Give me peace for the moment 

Whatever Your will 

Whatever Your will 

Can You help me find it 

I'm giving You fear and You give faith 

I giving You doubt

You give me grace 

For every step I've never been alone 

Even when it hurts, You'll have Your way 

Even in the valley I will say 

With every breath 

You've never let me go 

I will wait for You 

You've never failed before 

I will wait for You 

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again) 

Have Your way my King (I give my all to You) 

I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see) 

‘Cause You are all I need

Where God is taking me is a new level of trust in writing where "I'll never know".  And that's the God part in all of this confession.  I do know that I just need to continue to write about God's journey in me.  

...because "you never know" what God can do when you honor Him with actions from a fully devoted heart on an one woman's faith journey.

What is God asking you to let go of? 

Why God made my mother

My mom and dad 

For some reason I have been a bit reflective this mother's day weekend over most years.  I have a lot of reasons to be thankful for my mom as she has taught me so many things.    When I was a child she spoke a lot of whimsical sayings into my life that apparently are unique to only our family.  Like...

..."We'll worry about that tomorrow, and if tomorrow doesn't come, we don't have to worry about it."  Or this one..."If everything in life was as easy as doing the dishes, then we wouldn't have any problems." Neither one really resonated with me.  Because I learned worry from my mom and I grew up hating to do the dishes.  In fact, I believe in owning a dishwasher before buying plates.  Dishes are serious work.

God makes mothers with the nature to nurture.  God made her to take care of me, the youngest of three.

My mom has taught me many things like how to make melt-in-your-mouth homemade rolls and to be patient when sewing a dress seam for the third time (my first dress literally fell apart at every seam).  The fancy footwork of beating boys at kickball, Hide-N-Seek and Kick the can (Remember those games you play outdoors?).  She taught me a love of beets, the art of spitting watermelon seeds, and how to make meringue (I still can't do that last one).

She taught me to cook a birthday cake out of a dutch oven, how to roast a perfectly burnt marshmallow and where to touch a tent to make it leak.  The best entertainment for a man on a camping trip is a hand saw.   That kept my dad busy cutting wood for the campfire for hours.

She taught me that an angel food cake with sprinkles makes for really special days, and that Midge only needed Barbie and Ken as close doll friends.  She showed me we had our name on the same church pew on Sundays and that we be in place each and every time the doors were open, rain, sun, sleet, or snow just like the USPS.

She taught me faithfulness, a hard work ethic, and loyalty while working three jobs at once.  She cleaned my messes at the daily dinner table as I spilled my drink and my tears.  She would open her kitchen to the neighbors kids and give them cookies and sandwiches.  She taught me how to be fair, as I missed recess because I wouldn't eat one bite of that yucky canned plum business.  (Why would you ever put a plum in a can?)

She taught me to how to overcome during her season of breast cancer quieting the fear of that dreadful disease.  She taught me how to be pretty when she made the extra effort to get the extra wide shoes for my little chubby foot.  She taught me kindness in the face of cruelty from those who picked on me in school.  She taught me to look up when you didn't know which direction to go.  God will always show me and remind me that I am special.  She educated me in the school of nature with the birds and the stars.  She showed me the power of prayer.

I will remember my mom for how she taught me generosity.   She gave so much of herself to others that she never got on the to-do list herself.  She is slowing down some as she quilts and she spends most of her days watching her favorite baseball game on TV, her favorite team being whatever game is on at the moment.

She taught me compassion with a pair of Red Ball Tennis shoes.   She showed me how to be a mother.  She showed me unconditional love.  She welcomed me with my fears and failures.  She showed me the face of Jesus.  Generously and that's something I will treasure forever.

That's why God made my mother, to mother me.  I love you mom.