We even walked carnival row and allowed the barkers to shout. "Come here...it's only a dollar!" for whatever game they were selling. I never bought into those games. We shared the traditional funnel cake treat. Oh...those are so deliciously bad for you. We judged ourselves for taking part in that fare.
With powdered sugar still on my face, I looked up to see the most striking exhibit. It was a carnival worker at the kids merry-go-round. The painted ponies were spinning fast but my gaze stopped and locked onto one the workers. She was very overweight. She had just gotten her a plate of some kind of cheesy-mounded-goodness with the biggest thermos mug-full of Mountain Dew a Quick Trip store could sell. She knelt down on the dry ground at the edge of her work space to eat. I had to look away.
But then I looked back and immediately tears started to stream. God spoke to my heart in that moment and said..."See what happens when you open your life to food idols?" Ouch! He reminded me that I had slowly shifted away in my obedience of eating right and I had let food be more important than it should have been. And as the painted pony worker powered down her unhealthy meal, God painted a warning that I will always remember.
Many plates later....
Oh my wayward heart.....God once again brought this whole scene back to my mind, and today I have to tell you that I have fallen under the subtle romance of food...again. I have taken a ride on a painted pony on the unhealthy merry-go-round of food. I am ashamed to write this but it's true. And maybe this is where the healing begins. Again. I can only say that I have allowed it for comfort and pleasure.
Now I am judging myself. I tend to easily dismiss my own food sin. And when I talk about some "dark" places in my heart...food is always there lurking in the corners leaving crumbs of desires. Can I just tell you now that I've opened the door to allow God's love and light to enter in?
Yes, this really goes that deep for me.
I am tired of riding this spinning painted-pony ride, up and down, on this merry-go-round of health and fitness. No more barely gripping on to the good benefits of eating right just sometimes. I guess you could call this my "thorn".
I want to start caring again.
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these...from your lips." Colossians 3:5, 7-8
There is freedom in your discovery of whatever sin or thorn you might have in your life. Is there anything that causes you to slowly spin away from God? Is there something you want to ignore and dismiss because it's not that bad?
Do you know that God wants so much more for us?
What I have found in my declaration of my weakness is my need for more dependence on God. In my dependence on God, comes the of independence of whatever sin is weighing me down. That's freedom at it's finest. That's God at work, and that's my best life off of sin's painted-pony-merry-go-rounds.
What sin do you need to let go of? I've told you one of mine...