Friday, October 12, 2012

My Need-To-Know Faith

There is a void, a space of the untapped force that brings our reality face to face with a very volatile dynamic.  It's the chasm between our expectations and our reality.  It can fester and boil, and grow something. Disappointment.

Maybe you have some space between a current reality and an unfulfilled expectation. If so, I imagine disappointment can be found growing there.  And that is hard to admit when it's God's business.

You want to control it like the rebellious teen you can't.  You want to run to Haiti right this moment and scoop up your three kids and never look back.  You want to shake your sons shoulders and ask why they messed up their lives so with drugs and alcohol.

After all, we have expectations about how life is going to turn out.  We have big dreams for ourselves and our children.  We expect God to work out the problems that we can't.  And we still do.  So how do we handle the times when it doesn't look He is working fast enough?  What about when we don't see Him working at all?  What about those expectations that faith teaches us to grow patience in?  What about those?

God what about this storm that darkens my horizon?  What about how the storm of disease howls our halls?  What about the countless nights crying myself to sleep because I don't see your answers?  What about...?

"I am God, and you are not."  

I'll admit there are times when I am over-stimulated by my Miss-Fix-It Brain.  It is tested to it's tiny limits.  It's in these test times, that I have to submit to God's sovereignty.  Because I haven't come across any other answers that fit here.  Nor can I answer questions about waiting out your dark situations either.  I have to say once again, yes, we are fighting the Enemy and it's not each other.  And I have to say back to God..You are God, and I am not.

When things don't make sense, and there are no answers, I have to listen to God's silence and submit my will to His control.  I have to surrender to His perfect will.  Submission to the One who has the ultimate and mighty control.  I know and must believe that His ways are higher, and my need-to-know why none of this makes sense right now is not important.  I must not not look at the dark clouds that hover as part of my horizon.  I must believe that He is God, and I am not.  I know He is for me.  Not against.   

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.  declares the Lord. 
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

He is God, and I am not.
He soothes my ever questioning mind.

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