Thursday, June 28, 2012

Words That Hurt Just A Little

Ouch, your words hurt!

It was one of those texts that left me rubbing my eyes filled with tears and  wondering, “What did I say that was wrong?”  I just wanted to help but instead, I was blindsided by criticism. 

I just wanted to bolt.  I wanted to find the next plane and jump on...and not return.....  

But...I am writing this instead.  

Words that are harshly said, just hurt.  When people are critical it pierces.   And no matter who you are, or what you do or how much chocolate you have at your disposal, one kiss of "who do you think you are?" can spread like the plague.  It can choke, stifle, and shut down the most pleasant conversations.  

I wish we could take a little love pill and make it all go away.  When hurtful words hit, no matter the delivery, there is damage.  And now the task of damage control is at hand.  Whether you are the one doing the damage or the one receiving the damage, emotional repair is needed.  

When this happens, I have to ask, was the motive to help or to hurt?  If it's rising out of your insecurities or inadequacies, then ....I guess you know the answer.  If it's obvious that it is rising out of their insecurities or inadequacies, then...then you know the answer.

And you then you know how to pray...for them..and for yourself.

We can’t fix "whatever" hurts or inadequacies that caused the hurtful words to flow.  We can control our responses by acknowledging that we are all God's workmanship in progress.  By staying calm, using self-control and not lashing out in anger, it will add peace and not add fuel to the fire.  There is no restoration in compounding the hurt with more hurt.  

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Proverbs 15:1-2

My dear friend has a website called "A Gentle Answer".  Whenever I go to her she always gives me just that...a gentle answer.  

I’m learning about God's self-control and not being a hot button to push.  It is part of the fruit of the Spirit and can be such a calming gift of peace not only for me but for my next offender.    

How do you handle people who hurt you?
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