Monday, December 9, 2013

A simple yes or no will do

My prayer:  Dear God, show me what it means to follow You.  May my heart's response be as pure and always full of praise as Mary's was.  May I not need the visual confirmations that you so graciously send to me.  May my heart always believe in you, and not be distracted by my own understanding or doubts, fears and tears.  May I always and forever say yes to you.  And yes with whole faith God, not based on visual evidence, but on the faith and trust that only comes from you.  It's you Jesus, only you.  May I always say yes to you.   

From my prayer journal...raw and unedited... 

"I want to write a 1000 sentences all at once.  And yet, I can't seem to get all of the words out.  You know the incredible and unbelievable desires I have in my soul.  May I delight myself in you Jesus.  Certainly, when I think about you, what you mean to me eyes get misty and my heart flutters. 

Yesterday in church I heard a life-changing message.  I have been praying life-changing prayers.  No...let me rephrase that.  I have been praying faith-changing prayers.  I have been talking to God about my perspective, my fears-doubts-courage.

And as I sobbed in my church chair, it was in the silence of the moment that God reached down and wrapped my heart with your Love.  And it happened just like that.  No fanfare, no little drummers heavenly chorus at 3 am.  No animals were lowing, no wise men gathered offering gifts.  But a miracle happened in my heart and soul.

I want to remember this moment forever.  

I never would have thought ...that my "someday" dreams of becoming .... God...would happen.   Your messenger said to not be afraid of what you have to say.

I want to remember.  This is way beyond what I had planned.  But God you know my heart's desire is to submit to you and follow you and obey what you have asked of me.  You also 
confirmed everything in my spirit, and when I walked into church yesterday, Your Hope message came once again.  You are so in this that I can not deny it.  This gift you have given has me overwhelmed.  I am speechless yet overflowing with joy that I have never felt before.

This quickening in my making me so alive. But God this is so strange, and different, and awkward, give me more grace to receive this blessing, this favor....

I want to remember this heart feeling forever, this moment of awe, of joy, of anticipation of greatness.  
Help me prepare for what is ahead.  I can see some fearful moments, some scary steps, but what I want to see is faith opportunities for you to work and strengthen my faith.  Help me to prepare, to be ready.  There is so much to think about.  I can barely breathe...

Oh God, all I can say is..and may my words match those of your pure servant's heart...Mary.....“I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” Luke 1:38 NLT

At last, I have had the courage to write to you and tell you...I have really heard God... speak to my heart in His tender voice, And that sunrise ...sooooo beautiful!!   And at last it's happened I don't know how to feel about this...but hearing your voice, it's been wooing me for such a long time.    

I'm finally here, at the line of obedience to say "YES!" to it all.  All at once with 1000 conversations resounding in my head and heart.  I've said yes to faith and moving forward.  I'm turning the corner on this solo gig and learning to release my doubts, fears and worries.   My past is just that, forgiven and forgotten.  My past is not who I am, my future is so bright and glorious.  Because you have spoken hope to me once again.

Let me really be completely honest with you...this is not easy, I'm sweating right now.  But I believe in you God and what YOU have placed in my heart, and what You have given to my hands, may You guide the results.  It's in your hands now.

I want to remember this moment.  This boldly going forward moment.  This "no-safety nets" moment.  This going to new frontiers and expanding my trust moments.  

Help me to remember God that You chose me for this when you said the words 'favored' 
I want to remember those words....highly favored by the Holy One.  May my lips magnify Your Holy Name. 

Jesus, the Son of the Most High.  
I want to remember your words forever!  Oh my heart wants to sing this song forever. 

"What love is this that comes in the form of a tiny baby, when Hope comes down, in the flesh and favors this humble servant." ~ Kari Jobe.  Again, my heart overflows with worship now.  I believe in the power of miracles.  I believe in these advent days. 

I want to remember that my Forever started here. 
I want to remember this Hope moment, as "Salvation is writing a song" (Brandon Heath)
God you are giving life to my dreams, my heart, soul, and to hope.

Please accept my song of praise as an offering to You, Oh Lord...may it be just like Mary's response, let these words of her heart, soak into your advent days...

Luke 1:47-55
Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
For the Mighty One is holy,
and he has done great things for me.
He shows mercy from generation to generation
to all who fear him.
His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
He has brought down princes from their thrones
and exalted the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
and sent the rich away with empty hands.
He has helped his servant Israel
and remembered to be merciful.
For he made this promise to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his children forever.”

Oh Lord, you have remembered your people, you have found favor.  

May it be as You have said...~your servant, ~ Mary, mother to be of the Savior of the world."

Now that you have read all this...a simple yes or no wouldn't have done it.  (And what kind of picture portrays obedience?)  If you find one please send it to  Seriously...

May I ask a favor?...Will you comment with your own obedience story, and then share this obedience story.  Thank you!

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