When clumsy words come

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There are days when I can't put words to the hurt.

"Dear God, please help me handle the clumsy words that will come my heart's way. May I respond in gentle answers. Even when I don't feel like it."

I have been bruised by so many words by myself. Because I have been given a sensitive spirit to words, I wonder about those bruiser words we say and receive.

Who hasn't been on the stinging end of an emotionally charged zinger? From ourselves to ourselves?

Backed by the truth only found in God's word, I can put the negative self-talk in the corner to rest a bit. Oh yeah, every now and again it peeks out. But I am getting better at this.

It was the day that left me rubbing my eyes filled with tears and wondering, “What did I say that was wrong?” The day that I was blindsided by criticism...again. Man, criticism cuts so deep and lingers, bouncing it's way in our hearts, and settles hard.

Why is that we have rolled out the red carpet for access to our hearts? All it takes is one harsh word to start an avalanche of an ocean of emotions. Just one...and it hangs out and has an after party too, wrecking and wreaking havoc on our wounded hearts. Just a little poison is all it takes.

Words that are harshly said, just hurt. When people are critical it pierces. And no matter who you are, or what you do or how much chocolate you have at your disposal, one little kiss of harsh tones combined with words said without grace only breeds poison. And it spreads like the plague. It can choke, stifle, and shut down the most pleasant conversations. And it kills us, we who have those creative spirits. It numbs and suffocates.

I really wish we could take a little love pill and make it all go away. When hurtful words hit, no matter the delivery, there is damage. Especially when the clumsy words are not said under the umbrella of grace, of God's love and mercy. Whether you are the one doing the damage or the one receiving the damage, emotional repair is needed.

Words are powerful. They have the gift of life or death. The tongue is a mighty force to be reckoned with. God's Word to me are a charge that every word should be wholesome.

Hey...did you know that purity should rule our speech too?  Love should guide our thoughts, grace should spill out of our mouths.

Ephesians 4:29 "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." (NLT)  The NIV version uses "unwholesome".  The Message says, "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

Say only what helps. Criticism doesn't help. Pointing out failures doesn't help. Correction, without love, is unkind.

Are your words pure? Only when you are in a good mood? Or when things go your way? Read those verses again...

Let each word be a gift. Our words should always be a gift. A gift to others and to yourself. Something to treasure, to hold with esteem, wrapping each syllable with love. God's Love is something to give to others and ourselves, when we consider it a gift that we would a give to someone that we love.

A gift of love, so should our words be.

So about those words that just bust out of our mouths, the ones we blurt out in the car on the way to church, or when we have had a really bad day at the office, when we don't feel loved or don't love ourselves? I don't think you need my help filling in these blanks...do you?

Lysa TerKeurst recently put this as her Facebook status ~ "Don't let people's compliments go to your head and don't let their criticisms go to your heart." Could it be that really our insecurities or inadequacies are speaking?

Whatever your word motives are, if you are using worthless language to anyone including yourself, then those words are not driven by love. I know those that unwholesomeness doesn't build the body of Christ, it only destroys and tears. God has shown me that when you internalize the criticism you tend to say about yourself, you soon become the very criticism you are telling you.

In my search for Christ's identity I have uncovered who I am not. I am ashamed to tell you that I had to do quite a bit of digging, to see God's lovely inside of His wholesome. I found a few scarred places that are healing now. Nothing can tear my redeemed label up or apart because my wholesomeness is healing from God's heart of approval.

Knowing Wholesome is what protects my heart from the criticism of others, including my own criticism of my own flaws, failures, and fabrications. My unwholesome rule has to apply to myself, like it does to you. I must not let self-criticism slice through my heart, spurred by negative or unhealthy thoughts. That kind of self-negative talk is contributing to the contamination of the perfecting work that God is doing on my holiness journey.

Don't take part in the giving of unwholesome language. Your words matter...to God, to you, to others.

So what should our response be to those emotional charged zingers and clumsiness that spills and spews? Our response should be one said of holiness by acknowledging that we are all God's workmanship in progress. By staying calm, using self-control and not lashing out in anger, it will add peace and not add fuel to the fire. There is no restoration in compounding the hurt with more hurt.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Proverbs 15:1-2

When practiced, the fruit of the Spirit can be such a calming gift love. A gift of words.

A gift.

Let your words be a gift to yourself and to others. How do you handle people who hurt you with words?

You better know where your socks are

"This is for those who wait." ~ Fireflight

Each and every time that song comes over my radio speakers, I stop and thank God.  I've learned a lot about God and waiting and me.

The Bible is loaded with stories of great people of faith that have waited in their lifetime.  It seemed as if their dreams would never come true or that God had forgotten about the promises He had given them.  And then after years and years and then some more years...and many struggles later, their time of waiting ended.  

There are many verses of encouragement in times of waiting, and God's truth really stirs deep and speaks hope into those long waiting periods.  But a few stand out that really make me thankful for waiting...and it seems that God delivers them just in the nick of time of when my exhausted spirit needs just a little more oomph.

I don't know what you are waiting on, or if you have had ever had to wait on a promise.  But if you have had to wait on God, how do you handle it?

I hope that you have done a little better this than me.  Because honestly there are times when I want to rush His plans.  It seems that I want to get ahead of Him and take the controls of His best moves and then kindly put God in His majestic place in running the entire universe, and act like I know what is best for me.  

What a fool I have been in this waiting.

Recently, there has been a new awareness in this growing season that has really changed my perspective about waiting.    

I simply laid a dream at His feet and left it there.  

Get that?  I left my dreams, the unspoken things between me and God, I left them at His feet.  And then I took my hands off.  I gave them back to the Giver of Dreams.  The very dreams that He planted deep, I let go of them.  "God, these are yours, do with it as you will."  There are God-ideas that I only wonder about, those I can't even wrap my mind around.  That's when you know it's a God-driven dream.  Those dreams that intimidate the hee-bee-jee-bees out of you!  Those dreams that are so big that you have no idea what to pray first.

Those were the prayers when I realized that God was waiting on me.

Did you know that God waits on us too?  Of course the ultimate wait is for us to choose to follow Jesus as our Lord and Savior as His heart desires that we all live eternally with Him in Heaven.  He wants salvation for each of His children.  

Life is full of waiting periods for faith-filled sojourners and it's our faith that's on the line when we choose to believe God for what He has promised.  When God requires a hold on His sovereign plans, the One you wait for will not disappoint you.  

I am always encouraged when I come across these hope speaking verses:

Ps. 33:24  "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

Ps. 27:14   "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Ps. 33:11  "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purpose of his heart through all generations."

Ps. 33: 20  "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield."

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world, you will have trouble, But take heart! I have overcome the world."

So when you lay your dreams, at the foot of the cross and then surrender your own will to let God, the most creative person I know take over, it's time to take heart.  Take His heart to heart.

Ps. 37:5  "Commit your way to the Lord;  trust in him and he will do this."

God will take our heart, he will take His heart and move it to action.  But not just to bring a solution to your problem or deliver a dream.  No, He will bring His fullness to your dream, your problem, your situation or your circumstance.

Keep track of your socks, because He is about to blow them off with His perfection that He's dreaming for you. He will bring His perfect fullness to your dreams.  God's fullness, because of His character, is what we wait on.  And honestly, it's my faint heart longs...for that and let me just encourage you today friend...this is worth waiting for.

So take heart, don't give up, but give into the One who brings His Heart of fullness just your most perfect and right time.  Take heart, God has not forgotten you.  


Let the God of Wonders draw you near while you wait on His Fullness.  Take heart!

Words That Hurt Just A Little

Ouch, your words hurt!

It was one of those texts that left me rubbing my eyes filled with tears and  wondering, “What did I say that was wrong?”  I just wanted to help but instead, I was blindsided by criticism. 

I just wanted to bolt.  I wanted to find the next plane and jump on...and not return.....  

But...I am writing this instead.  

Words that are harshly said, just hurt.  When people are critical it pierces.   And no matter who you are, or what you do or how much chocolate you have at your disposal, one kiss of "who do you think you are?" can spread like the plague.  It can choke, stifle, and shut down the most pleasant conversations.  

I wish we could take a little love pill and make it all go away.  When hurtful words hit, no matter the delivery, there is damage.  And now the task of damage control is at hand.  Whether you are the one doing the damage or the one receiving the damage, emotional repair is needed.  

When this happens, I have to ask, was the motive to help or to hurt?  If it's rising out of your insecurities or inadequacies, then ....I guess you know the answer.  If it's obvious that it is rising out of their insecurities or inadequacies, then...then you know the answer.

And you then you know how to pray...for them..and for yourself.

We can’t fix "whatever" hurts or inadequacies that caused the hurtful words to flow.  We can control our responses by acknowledging that we are all God's workmanship in progress.  By staying calm, using self-control and not lashing out in anger, it will add peace and not add fuel to the fire.  There is no restoration in compounding the hurt with more hurt.  

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” Proverbs 15:1-2

My dear friend has a website called "A Gentle Answer".  Whenever I go to her she always gives me just that...a gentle answer.  

I’m learning about God's self-control and not being a hot button to push.  It is part of the fruit of the Spirit and can be such a calming gift of peace not only for me but for my next offender.    

How do you handle people who hurt you?