Thursday, January 6, 2011

Why I Don't Wear Mascara

I don't wear mascara because I can cry at the drop of a hat. Like as long as it takes you to snap your fingers...yup.... just like that. Brent thinks I should end it right here. Some say my tears are blessing. I say they are a burden.

My burden is a heart condition for the lost. That's a whole new post. Today I have tears of regret. This morning I remembered a hard time in my life that has left me with regret. Years ago, my brother-in-law committed suicide. Here come the tears...seriously. It was a bad situation with a lot of details that don't matter now. The point is he's gone. We believe he is in Heaven.

He chose to end to his life. This is difficult to right. You see, he had a family that loved him. He even had a new baby on the way. He made a choice on what he thought was reasonable at the time. My only conclusion is that he felt or believed that his choice didn't matter. That he didn't matter. This is difficult to write.

This brings me to tears because I have regret. Did he really believe that he didn't matter? I don't know. That fact that I don't know breaks my heart. Didn't anyone tell him that he was loved? I wish I could now. Did he understand that he was made in God's image? Did he know that he was a gift, that he mattered?

Here's your charge for today, tomorrow and the rest of your life here on earth. You matter. Other's matter. Tell them. Don't live with the regret of not saying it, I love matter.
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