Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Results - I Disappoint

My struggle within
There is a struggle within.  The results seem to be hidden.

I have been asking myself "Why write"?

I say have been called by God to write, but have I?    OR is this just my dream?

I fail, most times, thinking about ideas, posting ideas, writing ideas, communicating and then the worst... following through with my ideas.  I have a lot of activity in the thought processes but getting things down on paper or in posts is a big challenge.

My priorities fail.  I can't or don't commit time to write.  I don't commit to the follow through.  I fail to see results.  I fail to trust God for the results.  I fail.  I disappoint.

I guess this is a part of the process.  Examining where you need to grow.  Because that is where God wants to strengthen.  That is where He needs to work.

Is writing just my dream?  I have doubt.  I don't see results.  This attitude affects my writing...I am my own worst critic.

I must not trust in my struggle but in the things unseen.  The results are God's because only He can see.  He sees my inner struggles too.  I feel that my words don't matter .....at all.  My words disappoint.  I pray for more of God to show.  I am committing to see more results in line with God's heart.  I hope you will see the results.  This is my struggle within.

What's yours?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

JK, I want you to know you are an inspiration and a seed sower...I am sure you don't see or feel all that you touch, but I know you are God-lead and inspired. Don't be discouraged or dismayed!

Philippians 1:6

6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Female in Motion said...

As Christian writers, we struggle with our words. Some may throw them out onto the internet with little thought, but we measure each one. I spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation over my posts, before, during and after, as I know you do. God doesn't want us to be perfect, but to try our best. He's proud of you!