Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Replacement Therapy

Let's say I have a "friend" who...feels like she has made some progress. And then there are those days when she feels like she is starting from scratch.....starting over once again. On those days, she doesn't know where it comes from but there is something that hints...."you are not good enough, no matter what, even when you try really, really hard."

"You will never be as thin as you were 18 months ago. You will never look good again....you have made so many mistakes." Her heart breaks....again. 

She falls and fumbles on her own. She doesn't need any help there. The mistake department has her name written all of over it. How will she ever overcome that? Can she ever get past her past? The discounting words are always there....ready to fill in her silent places. They fall forward into her heart to stamp out the promises that live there. They mound on top of the deeply rooted wounds. 

Confession: that "friend" is yours truly and I don't like writing these things to you. And if I had a friend that was saying these things to me, I would not stand for it. I would have to say good bye to those toxic words that stab and destruct, I would say so long. 

So why do I allow it? My own whispers hurt. There's a part of me that feels like I have caused it or deserve it. God still has some work to do yet. Sometimes my feelings cause my emotions to self-destruct. When I get introspective I tend to be a bit harsh towards myself. I forget to forgive me. I forget grace.

Grace is easier to give to others than it is to give to yourself.
When I meet with God, He shows me His truth of who I am in His grace.

On days like this, I have to take a dose of God's replacement therapy that I have learned in Psalm 139.  As I absorb His truth, I have to decide that I am worthy.  The Master Designer has made me worthy.  And His worthiness is the only thing that can capture these harmful thought patterns.  When I feel like there is no way out, I have to fall forward into his truth and grace and replace good thoughts for the unkind thoughts.  

Romans 12:2  Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you may will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, perfect and pleasing will.

I have to take an active role in dismissing the habits that have gotten me here. It's about letting go to God's healing to bring me out of the pit of negative talk that traps me in my dark corners. It's about seeing His grace work in my emotional scars to reveal a becoming beauty. It's about seeing me as He sees me, with great worth. It's about receiving His unmerited grace as He intended. It's about His heart meeting my troubled grounds to reach rest.

Oh how He loves. 

I will never measure His worth, I will never be good enough. 

This is about what Jesus did. 

"You are a loved, chosen, cherished daughter of the King. Let me help you."

Only God's grace can change the habitual hurtful thought patterns and replace it with His grace and worth. Only grace can embrace us with grace. Only grace can calm with truth and love. Only grace can reach, still and silence the roar. Only grace can bring me back to worth and healing. Only grace. Such grace brings a balm for all the sore places and centers me on communion with the Master. At His feet I am gracefully transformed.
Only Grace tells us the truth about who we are.

Isn't time for grace? Listen...do you hear it too? 

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