Help me find it

My co-host, Carder, told me last week  that his mom's quote for his growing up years was "you never know".  I have let that settled a bit in my mind, wondering that phrase.  It speaks to the unknown, the "you-never-know-what's-going-to-happen-next" future.

Honestly that is what has really been on my mind...the future, the today hours that yesterday brought and tomorrow will bring.  One of my fervent prayers is "God, what are you up to?"  At least I know the direction to look.

There have been a lot of things that have become undone in my heart in the last month.  This processing is a good thing, because this is where my healing begins.  I have kind of stopped in my planning of things, filling in the blank spots, and trying to assume I know what God is up too in my life.  If I may be completely honest with you, I have pretty much have laid this "future + my heart" thing on God's altar and asked Him to change me. Completely.  From the inside out from my desperate prayers.

You'll never know of some of the changes that God has done, they are so personal to me but eventually...maybe I can write about them.  They go that deep.  And for the first time, I understand that I don't have to share everything here, because there are some private moments between me and God that I can store up as treasures.  This is how I am finding my writing voice.

What I do hope is that you read is a new confidence, not in my own strength but with Holy confidence in the One I am writing about.

This is not about me, it's about God's journey in me.

This is where I have had to let go of the control of what God can do with a few typed words on a white screen.  Letting go is at the basis of "you never know" when it comes to a lot of things in our daily walk with God.  The important thing to remember is to not let go of His guiding hand and the Heaven-ward faith journey towards God.  When I try to control things, I have my hands on the controlling and make no room for God.  So when I think about the "you never know" aspect, I know I have to let go of control and the unknown. There is a something about that idea, well...it just keeps me undone before God constantly.  

Dave of Sidewalk Prophets writes some words that are still echoing in my heart in this song,

"Help Me Find it"

I don't know where to go from here 

It all used to seem so clear 

I'm finding I can't do this on my own 

I don't know where to go from here 

As long as I know that You are near 

I'm done fighting 

I'm finally letting go 

I will trust in You 

You've never failed before 

I will trust in You 

(Chorus )

If there's a road I should walk 

Help me find it 

If I need to be still 

Give me peace for the moment 

Whatever Your will 

Whatever Your will 

Can You help me find it 

I'm giving You fear and You give faith 

I giving You doubt

You give me grace 

For every step I've never been alone 

Even when it hurts, You'll have Your way 

Even in the valley I will say 

With every breath 

You've never let me go 

I will wait for You 

You've never failed before 

I will wait for You 

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again) 

Have Your way my King (I give my all to You) 

I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see) 

‘Cause You are all I need

Where God is taking me is a new level of trust in writing where "I'll never know".  And that's the God part in all of this confession.  I do know that I just need to continue to write about God's journey in me.  

...because "you never know" what God can do when you honor Him with actions from a fully devoted heart on an one woman's faith journey.

What is God asking you to let go of? 

Father Knows Best

Watch out sparrow I have my eye on you!

God sent a visual reminder of His presence and it wasn't in a piece of toast or a potato chip.  Here's what happened...the other day I saw God in a sparrow.


This past weekend my husband Terry and I were having one of those discussions about "what-would-happen-if-this-happened" conversations.  You know...those uncomfortable conversations you don't really like to have unless you have all the answers.  Guess what...there were no answers.  


As a realist and as a fixer, you can imagine that the "no-answer" to the question went down a little hard.  It seemed I had opened a can of worms.   But as we continued to discuss, we reassured each other that we would have to trust God for the "no-answer". The answers we were looking for are buried in a huge step of faith.   

We would just have to trust...God.  

Next I opened my Bible and read Matthew 6:25-34 which again reminds me that God is in control and is faithful.  God doesn't change.  Don't forget that. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Refreshed in His promise tucked in truth, we both looked out the window at the same time and there we saw a little sparrow looking in the window at us.  It was odd really, because birds don't sit for long, well maybe on high wires and in trees.  Very rarely do they come in close like that.  We looked at the sparrow, and he looked back at us.  We stared as he stared.  Time stood still.


He looked back at us to say... 
Do I look like I am lacking?
My song is strong.  
My fine feathers cover.
My wings have sufficient strength. 
My belly is full...quite plump actually.
I have enough, you will have enough.


He tweeted...."trust and obey" over and over and over like a melodious chorus.  It was a spirit-filled interval that refreshed our souls.  It was like a direct touch from God at just the right moment.  So calming and peaceful.


There in the middle of our unanswered questions and what seemed like a fear-filled future, God met us face to face with his visual tender care of the sparrow.  We had let eggs of fear and doubt nest into our faith.  Fear rages war against our trust in God.  But God offers peace in every situation.  We need to receive His peace and fight the fears that hatch.  God takes care of even the smallest of birds with such care.  He will take care of us more than those.  There is nothing that He can't handle for me today AND tomorrow because He already knows what we need.  He knows... 


So matter what you are struggling with today, whatever trust issue, whatever area of your life, know that God cares intimately and intently on each and every detail.  There really are no worries if we give them all to God who already knows what we need.  He knows what is best.  Always.


Our Father in Heaven knows the answers, the solutions, the fixes, the remedies, the "whatever can-of-worm situations". He knows...the desired outcomes, He knows whats best for you, and for me.  He knows...

I find peaceful refuge in the assurance that when I seek Him, I find Him.  

And when I find Him, I know He has His eye on this sparrow.  

It's not a step of faith if you know where you are going to land.

Where is God trying to grow your trust?