Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Life As A Revolutionary, part 1

Yesterday someone asked me what I want to be when I grow up. I said a revolutionary...Now imagine what that means. It means to me putting it all on the line. Listening to God's voice, even the whispers, and obeying. It means taking up the cross daily and running for the cause.

But how do I start? Yeah good question, wasn't I already doing that? Well I thought I was. And I have been to some extent. *Big Sigh*...those of you who know me know that I am groaning on the inside right now. Part of me was....yes....being obedient, some of me wasn't. There was a part of me that was clinging to, areas of my heart that I was holding tight. I was unaware of it until recently.

The past 30 days have been a eye-opening experience and certainly one of revelation. It hit me like a huge, heavy anvil. It hurt deeply. God took it step further and is shook me to my core. This is very personal to me and hard for me to admit to you.

In the DR I saw that Jesus was enough. And since then God revealed that He hasn't been enough in my life. I had to admit to God that I had not allowed Him to be. I am still reeling over this one. A long time Christian doesn't like to admit these faults. God was right. Always is.

Is Jesus enough for you? There are those who are so content with so little. I have the tendency to equate Jesus to comfort and blessings. Imagine your world void of every comfort, every pleasure would you still be happy and content?

As God broke my heart and I realized I was the "poor" that the Bible was speaking of in verse, John 12:8, "You will always have the poor among you". I am envious of their contentment. I got to return to a lifestyle that is filled with every blessing. But now I want more, I want more Jesus. I want Him to be my life.

I think about my happiness that is hinged on every storm that blows into my life. I think about a young mom who taught me more about Jesus and myself in a single home visit than any sermon heard in church. One of the great lessons I learned was when Jesus isn’t enough, something is wrong. So I am on a quest to make it all about Jesus.

It’s easy when surrounded by the comforts of my American life to melt back into the The American Way, where you are looked on as successful and the-bigger-the-better-and-more-is-what-matters.

This is a painful journey, but more than anything though, I want Him to be enough for me. If your happiness, like mine, is it determined by how much or how little you have or the next exciting thing in your life, can I gently remind you to return to Him? He is waiting to be enough. This is my daily sometimes hourly prayer. Jesus, be enough for me. I want to be in tune with your heart. Use me to start a revolution...and help me take as many people with me. Want to join me??
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