Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Weighty Wednesday - The Measure of Me

For me, one of the most dreaded times of accountability when trying to lose weight is the awful meeting with the tape measure.  That's right...the measurements.  I.hate.this.  This never ends well if you are over your goal weight.  I am always disappointed with the results.  And it also makes my overages that much more real, yeah, like my tight pants weren't enough of a red flag.  

Needless to say, I don't linger in front of mirrors these days because I don't like my reflection.  Honestly I want these numbers to remain hidden.  This expansion will remain private as well as the read out from my scale.  I have a problem telling you these things because I am ashamed.

I see these tools of the weight loss industry as my enemy as they judge me.   The last time I checked they were doing a fine job of tormenting me with their accuracy.  Every time we have in encounter, they make sure that discouragement is offered first.  I told you this was painful.  What I hate worse is the message that these two thieves give in the self-worth department.  

In the past I have let my measurements both around and in pounds define who I am.  In my past, I have fallen into the trap of letting the scale label my weigh day and my opinion of myself.  My self-esteem rose and fell with the numbers.  This false message was one that I had built from a young age.  When I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, I remember circling the "special" clothes in the Sears catalog.  I could only pick from the "Chubbies" sizes.    

One day God convicted me of worshiping the scale and looking to it for my value.  That was a hard truth to swallow.  Ouch.  But with that revelation, came His release for my perspective towards the tools that He has equipped me with.  Now I can use them as just that, as tools to mark success.  Albeit small at times, I know there will be success.  

Now before you think I am going to beat myself up again in this post, please don't worry.  I am doing much better in this phase of the melting than I did the first time.  I still have regret, but I have the knowledge that this time around my middle that I am putting less emphasis on man's measurements and everything on God's measure of me.

Ps. 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  

When I put myself down, I am putting down God's wonderful works.  God has made all things beautiful, including me.  This includes you too.  Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me in this take-2-journey.  I am on my way back.  Glad you are along.     

Do you have a love or hate relationship with the scale?

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