Painted Ponies

Painted Ponies

I love fall and this county fair time of year.  It's a tradition with my daughter and I that we make the annual trek, even though we both know we won't see anything new.  We arrived at the fairgrounds and we were greeted with the usual hustle and bustle.  We looked and laughed at the entries.  We like to judge them ourselves.  If I were a fair judge, would hand out different awards and ribbons to the most precious of entries.  We saw livestock and showpieces and those who had tendered their care.  We saw it all and gave our opinions to each other.

We even walked carnival row and allowed the barkers to shout.  "Come here...it's only a dollar!" for whatever game they were selling.  I never bought into those games.  We shared the traditional funnel cake treat.  Oh...those are so deliciously bad for you.  We judged ourselves for taking part in that fare.

With powdered sugar still on my face, I looked up to see the most striking exhibit.  It was a carnival worker at the kids merry-go-round.  The painted ponies were spinning fast but my gaze stopped and locked onto one the workers.  She was very overweight.  She had just gotten her a plate of some kind of cheesy-mounded-goodness with the biggest thermos mug-full of Mountain Dew a Quick Trip store could sell.  She knelt down on the dry ground at the edge of her work space to eat.  I had to look away.  

But then I looked back and immediately tears started to stream.  God spoke to my heart in that moment and said..."See what happens when you open your life to food idols?"  Ouch!  He reminded me that I had slowly shifted away in my obedience of eating right and I had let food be more important than it should have been.  And as the painted pony worker powered down her unhealthy meal, God painted a warning that I will always remember.  

Many plates later....

Oh my wayward heart.....God once again brought this whole scene back to my mind, and today I have to tell you that I have fallen under the subtle romance of food...again.  I have taken a ride on a painted pony on the unhealthy merry-go-round of food.  I am ashamed to write this but it's true.  And maybe this is where the healing begins.  Again.  I can only say that I have allowed it for comfort and pleasure.  

Now I am judging myself.  I tend to easily dismiss my own food sin.  And when I talk about some "dark" places in my heart...food is always there lurking in the corners leaving crumbs of desires.  Can I just tell you now that I've opened the door to allow God's love and light to enter in?  

Yes, this really goes that deep for me.  

I am tired of riding this spinning painted-pony ride, up and down, on this merry-go-round of health and fitness.  No more barely gripping on to the good benefits of eating right just sometimes.   I guess you could call this my "thorn". 

I want to start caring again.  

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these...from your lips."  Colossians 3:5, 7-8

There is freedom in your discovery of whatever sin or thorn you might have in your life.   Is there anything that causes you to slowly spin away from God?  Is there something you want to ignore and dismiss because it's not that bad?

Do you know that God wants so much more for us?  

What I have found in my declaration of my weakness is my need for more dependence on God.  In my dependence on God, comes the of independence of whatever sin is weighing me down.  That's freedom at it's finest.  That's God at work, and that's my best life off of sin's painted-pony-merry-go-rounds.  

What sin do you need to let go of?  I've told you one of mine...

The Day I Found God At the Beach

La Playa!

While in Honduras, I got some rest.  It's unusual..I know...the normal schedule of a mission trip is go...go...go! As it should be, because the team wants to make as much impact in one place as time allows.  I am still grateful for that half day at the beach.

We arrived and immediately I felt at peace.  There were no worries...even though the bathroom stalls didn't have doors or that two little local girls were trying out their entrepreneurship skills at the bathroom door as they charged for toilet paper.  
That didn't matter. 

 I couldn't wait to get my feet wet.  I couldn't wait to rest.

At this beach, I found it.  I met God there.  This rest wasn't defined as a pause in the schedule of a intense work-filled week.  Not just a blip in my international travel radar.  
Not just for a moment, or a half day.  
I found what God's rest looks like in my life.  

I found and experienced His quiet Presence.

As I silently walked the long stretch of hot sandy beach, I experienced God alone.  His presence permeated my soul and I drank it in.  The time was peaceful and lovely.  
It's difficult to describe but they were holy moments.    

I was able to rest in His sufficiency as the next four days were loaded full of challenges.  I'll have to admit that coming to this point, on this beach on that day, I was lacking.  I was a little worn out mentally. Coming to this point was exactly where God wanted me to be so that He could show me His sufficiency and His idea of rest
rest that can only be found in Him.  

I was engulfed in true rest in His Presence.

I walked and talked by myself drinking in every sandy pebble, every shell, every dead fish, every Kodak moment.  In fact, I took the most pictures of the week on this sandy shore.  
I want to go back to that spot often, 
I want to remember how God felt, what I experienced. 
I want to relive those moments of awe and wonder.

I need to go back there every day.  I need to feel God's presence daily.

God and I had some conversations in that restful place.  He still calls me there.  
He reminded me that He has plenty of those holy moments waiting for me when I seek Him.  That I don't have to strive to get there, 
He is not going to run out of holiness when I take my time to seek it.  
There was no need to hurry, there will be plenty for me.  

When I rush and hurry, scurry and strive, I forget that I am His.  I forget my place in His kingdom as His kingdom builder, I forget Who He Is.  
I forget.  
I forgot ....I am royalty.  
I had forgotten.  
But God reminded me that day. 
And...
Since then...God has reminded me that I am His.  And it's okay for me to say this.
This is me being open with you. 
This is my humble confession that I had been trying too hard to be God's.  
All I needed to do and still need ...
is to say ...
that this is not earned, this isn't worked, this is.

My being God's child and my place in His Kingdom is not about me writing the best blog, 
or writing some devotional thoughts connected with scripture that would touch you deeply, or being the best radio DJ that you hear on your radio.  
My being His doesn't depend on anything that I might do or say. 
It's this....being one of His many children depends on Who He Is.  

So stop striving...stop forgetting that God is the "I AM".  
Stop and pause and take a look around.
Look at His beauty.
Look at what God has done in your life, 
look at what He has given you, 
look at Jesus on the cross.

Look at Jesus, take time to worship Jesus.

This life I lead, this life I write is not about me.  It's about Jesus and lifting His name high. 
It's about making His name known.  
I saw rest on that day on the beach.  I saw God in each captured moment.  
Awe...wonder...worship.

My heart is full as I worship and remember who God is. 
That's rest...that's God's Presence.

Ps. 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."

Yes, Lord, I will be still.

Five Minute Friday - Worry!

Today's fast Friday challenge word is worry:  Go! 

Do you ever worry?  Or have you worried about worrying?  

I have...then I stopped at this verse.....

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:22-26

Frankly, worrying makes you weary.  Worry speaks of fear, of mistrust, and unbelief.  When you're hit square between the brows with life's swirling circumstances and you've done all you know to do, worrying is futile.    


Worry confuses.  Surrender to God reassures.

Worry destroys.  Faith builds trust.

Worry separates.  Prayer tethers us to His strength.

Worry breeds doubt.  Trust births dependence on Him.

Nothing about your life has caught God by surprise. He knew a long time ago you would be in the middle of whatever it is your facing today. He sees all the details...the good, the bad, the ugly....your dark thoughts. He's not weary about how it's going to work out.....So why worry?

Just Rest

You must read yesterday's post ...

I sometimes fight dependence on God like a 14-month-old baby boy before a much needed nap. I don’t share the all worries of my heart with God even though I know He already knows what they are and I know that He really cares about me. In my own self-reliance I am humbled in the awareness that I need Him desperately to just breathe.

I feel like if I am honest with you and with God, I am letting everyone down. But… as His strength is made perfect in my weakness I am being transparent enough to admit that I need God desperately to be me.

Maybe…

…I need to say no to another serving opportunity.

…I need say more words of grace.

…I need to let the dust settle on ideas instead of immediately pushing the launch button.

…I need to take a rest in His Word even more.

…I need to not apologize for my failures.

God, I need rest.

When I’m weary, worn out, and overwhelmed… for reasons that I can’t control or those that I can, I go to God.

God doesn’t grow weary, He doesn’t need rest. God is not the source of my problems but the answer to them. God doesn’t cause my circumstances but He gives me wisdom to journey through them. God doesn’t overwhelm but holds me up when I am.

God is not the originator of the difficult but He serves those times as reminders that I must fall back on His original plan of dependence. His passions are planted deep in my heart…. the cry of the vulnerable and the orphaned, and the message of the gospel.  They are not there to overwhelm, but to bring His perfection in me and to foster dependence.

So in my needy dependence, in my increased awareness of God, I translate this into a call to be even stronger and more courageous as I acknowledge that God is my battle cry. Sometimes I will be silent, sometimes I will blow my horn loud. My important “to-do” is my dependence on Him.

Wisdom tells me I to stay still in His lap.

Wisdom prompts my awareness of my need.

Wisdom tells me that my God never fails.

In my alone-ness, in my darkness, in my pity–parties, in my joy times, God’s presence promises His companionship, strength and courage. His completeness brings rest to my mind, my heart, my soul. And when I make my lists I know I possess the strength of His Spirit. My “nexts” are complete as long as I rely on my God.

I can relax, rest, and recover.

Each of our journeys looks different. Is yours wearing you out?  Are you worn to a frazzle?  God knows this and asks us to rest, rest in Him, and that’s awesome! 

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (My new favorite verse!)

Resting in Him is a daunting task. What is God asking of you this year or today?