It's what I prayed for

Colossians 3:12  "Therefore, as God's chosen people holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

I admitted to my friend that I prayed for more patience.  Her response was "Why did you do that?" and then laughed.  She knew already knew my answer.  I am uncovering what godly patience looks like.

It looks like the belly of an undone kitchen, being renovated into something new.  My heart is in the middle of God's patient renovation, He is constructing new patience within me.

The picture above is not my home, but a stripped-down view of what is happening in my life right now.  I am smack dab in the middle of a mess.  A 24-hour, continual mess of a kitchen renovation.  Most days it seems there is no end in sight.  Other days there is a slight glimmer of hope.

One thing is for sure.  I feel displaced.  Like most women, even if you don't like to cook, your kitchen is your space.  Your domain, your place of wellness and where you are at home.  When you are taken out of it, you feel disoriented like there is no clean space in any inch of your house.

Ask anyone of us, she will tell you.

It's kind of a dismal picture actually.  And here I am admitting to you, this little momma in her corner of the country, that I am learning some godly patience.  I don't like God's lessons in this messy middle of His patience.

I am leaning into His everlasting patience with me though.

Living life outside our comfort zones never is comfortable.  It's never convenient and certainly isn't easy.  When you pray for more of God, He doesn't just hand it to you on a clean lacy laden silver platter.  No, He gives it abundantly to you in ways where you can learn more of Him in the circumstances that are around you.

I prayed to learn godly patience as God gives it.  God has given me a extreme lesson in exhibiting godly patience in the life opportunities around me.  One slow stroke of the paint brush, one slow turn of a new screw, one slow plank of a new floor.  One slow patient process.

I have to trust His patient process.

The lessons in this are a slow progression towards Him.  And if my "dreamy-redesign-on-a-dime" kitchen never gets done, may I always know the extent of His true patience with me, so that, I may exhibit His patience in the most loving way.

Appreciate your comfortable places, you never know when God will bring a new lesson to construct or renovate in you.  

I dare you to say

There are days then I just have to sigh deeply and think there are just those souls who don't get me...

I wish I could say that I reach out to God every time. But sometimes I forget. First comes complaint, then I throw up my hands, then look to God and wonder.

It's when my heart does wander that I find release to let the criticism go, and I can feel it in my heart that helps let His holy shield rise as I obey Him in thanksliving.

What I find that helps to combat my first complaining is a good old fashioned thanksgiving. In reminding myself of God's goodness, I remember how God has been faithful. I dare myself to remember.

I was reminded of this one Sunday as I was having an out of normal church experience as a guest in another fellowship. The speaker challenged me to give thanks first, as a first fruits part of my prayers for the day.

A first fruit gift to the First Fruit.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way:  bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father..." ~ Colossians 1: 10 - 12

As I practice this I find that God's favor that rests on my achy heart. And that kind of favor flavor feels kind of good most days. In my obedience to invite Jesus into my day I have more control over my thoughts and speech.  I am giving back to God first fruit, bearing fruitful gratitude of His daily graces.

Did you know that thanksliving would make such a difference? I didn't until I started to discipline myself to be thankful.

Thankfulness is a practice and it takes practice, it doesn't come naturally. You have to fight the tide of discontent to bring it to the forefront of your thoughts. It is a way to invite the friendliness of Jesus behind the enemy lines of battle, and He takes captive each and every one of those complaints that slip into your mind.

I dare you to take this counting-of-graces challenges in your quiet place every day. I dare you to make a list of God's faithfulness and then come away from that list with at least one happy thought.  Make a daily list of His daily graces.

I dare you to come up with at least one.

As I wander more in wonder of what the God of the universe has done for me, I am scrambling for more journals. What I do know is that if I want to see change in my attitude, the change has to begin with me. I have to be the change I would like to see in others.

To bring change I have be changed. To remember the grace of the Lord changes my perspective.

I dare you to start your day with praise and thanksliving, just start ...pound the doors of Heaven down upon your heart.

Life-changing perspective. I dare you.

Painted Ponies

Painted Ponies

I love fall and this county fair time of year.  It's a tradition with my daughter and I that we make the annual trek, even though we both know we won't see anything new.  We arrived at the fairgrounds and we were greeted with the usual hustle and bustle.  We looked and laughed at the entries.  We like to judge them ourselves.  If I were a fair judge, would hand out different awards and ribbons to the most precious of entries.  We saw livestock and showpieces and those who had tendered their care.  We saw it all and gave our opinions to each other.

We even walked carnival row and allowed the barkers to shout.  "Come here...it's only a dollar!" for whatever game they were selling.  I never bought into those games.  We shared the traditional funnel cake treat.  Oh...those are so deliciously bad for you.  We judged ourselves for taking part in that fare.

With powdered sugar still on my face, I looked up to see the most striking exhibit.  It was a carnival worker at the kids merry-go-round.  The painted ponies were spinning fast but my gaze stopped and locked onto one the workers.  She was very overweight.  She had just gotten her a plate of some kind of cheesy-mounded-goodness with the biggest thermos mug-full of Mountain Dew a Quick Trip store could sell.  She knelt down on the dry ground at the edge of her work space to eat.  I had to look away.  

But then I looked back and immediately tears started to stream.  God spoke to my heart in that moment and said..."See what happens when you open your life to food idols?"  Ouch!  He reminded me that I had slowly shifted away in my obedience of eating right and I had let food be more important than it should have been.  And as the painted pony worker powered down her unhealthy meal, God painted a warning that I will always remember.  

Many plates later....

Oh my wayward heart.....God once again brought this whole scene back to my mind, and today I have to tell you that I have fallen under the subtle romance of food...again.  I have taken a ride on a painted pony on the unhealthy merry-go-round of food.  I am ashamed to write this but it's true.  And maybe this is where the healing begins.  Again.  I can only say that I have allowed it for comfort and pleasure.  

Now I am judging myself.  I tend to easily dismiss my own food sin.  And when I talk about some "dark" places in my heart...food is always there lurking in the corners leaving crumbs of desires.  Can I just tell you now that I've opened the door to allow God's love and light to enter in?  

Yes, this really goes that deep for me.  

I am tired of riding this spinning painted-pony ride, up and down, on this merry-go-round of health and fitness.  No more barely gripping on to the good benefits of eating right just sometimes.   I guess you could call this my "thorn". 

I want to start caring again.  

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these...from your lips."  Colossians 3:5, 7-8

There is freedom in your discovery of whatever sin or thorn you might have in your life.   Is there anything that causes you to slowly spin away from God?  Is there something you want to ignore and dismiss because it's not that bad?

Do you know that God wants so much more for us?  

What I have found in my declaration of my weakness is my need for more dependence on God.  In my dependence on God, comes the of independence of whatever sin is weighing me down.  That's freedom at it's finest.  That's God at work, and that's my best life off of sin's painted-pony-merry-go-rounds.  

What sin do you need to let go of?  I've told you one of mine...