So far apart

My early drive into work couldn't have gotten any better really.  Usually I get to enjoy some holy moments with God listening to my Meredith Andrews CD that is seriously about get worn with my stillness in it 24/7.  Her inspiring lyrics make me tear up a lot actually.  No...seriously it's that good.  And her prayers set to music really resonate with my soul.  

Back to odd picture attached up above.  My story from the road.  As you can see, I am following a fried food carnival wagon boasting a menu of shrimp basket and an unthinkable temptation of a fried snickers, corn dogs and other assorted fried treats.  A typical menu offered with clowns and unique loud barkers who really just want your next dollar.  A familiar summer flair mixed with some county fair mullets...the combinations for  some crazy-good summer memories are quickly born.  This is the great state of Oklahoma people.

Back to the story from the road.  See how easily I get distracted?  Did I ever share with you about the story when God spoke to my heart about overeating and bowing down to food as an idol at a carnival? Yes... that really happened.  I just went back a year ago with every intention of re-writing that post, but after reading it again, I realized that it was transparent enough.  If you ever wanted to find out about a not-so-talked about part of my heart, well read a post called Painted Ponies.

Read it here...Painted Ponies.

Back to today, when my view from the road was the back of that funnel cake wagon, tears started to form as I thought about how far I had come since those Painted Pony days.  Yes, my heart and those days are so far apart.  So far gone are those days that I almost had to pull my black Chevy Malibu over so I could once again praise God for the wonderful work that He has done in my heart.  God knew I needed to follow the carnival wagon.  I needed to able to look at the back of this party barge on wheels and not be tempted nor even want to follow it.  I was a little disgusted at just looking at the words of what the truck was selling.

Oh it reminded me of the good times and the funny memories I have shared with my daughter, who makes the trek to the annual county fair a yearly date circled in red on her calendar.  The back of the truck also reminded me Who I was following. It served as a great reminder of grace.

The story from the road today was a great reminder of God's grace, of his daily graces that He gently gives me to remember the good things that He is doing in me.  I am so thankful I am not riding those painted ponies anymore.  I am so grateful for the strength to look away, and know that I am not following the lustful food desires of last summer.  So grateful for the change that God has done a new thing in my now 128 lb. weight loss.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I am so grateful for God's grace that doesn't give up on me when I seriously wanted to give up on myself and thought there was no way out.  I had given up hope of ever changing.  So glad that God brought the freedom and healing to my heart and removed those painted pony desires.

I could talk to you about this from now unto next week.  Deb knows...she listens to my stories from the road.  In fact, Lynn has been a part of this transformation process from his own success stories.  And who could forget the awesome encouragement of my pink-panted friend Tina.  God has brought some amazing cheerleaders along the way.  Andy, oh yeah...that guy, he always knew that I would get here.  And even though I can't mention all of you here, if you have been one to encourage me, we thank you for believing in what God could do with a willing heart.

God didn't give up on me.  And I am thankful for that today.

I can't forget about the wonderful things that my Wonderful Creator has re-made me into.  I am not a funnel-cake-eating-two-fisted-crazy-go-nuts over chocolate-lovin' girl any more.  No.  I am so far apart from that lifestyle.  So when I follow party food wagons driving down the road on an early morning drive...

well...it's one that I can pass by without another thought about painted ponies.  Tears of gratitude fall softly on my cheeks as I am so far apart from where I was.  But so close to God's grace on a daily basis and that is what I want to follow closely.

Would following a funnel cake truck tempt you?   What are you following?

Painted Ponies

Painted Ponies

I love fall and this county fair time of year.  It's a tradition with my daughter and I that we make the annual trek, even though we both know we won't see anything new.  We arrived at the fairgrounds and we were greeted with the usual hustle and bustle.  We looked and laughed at the entries.  We like to judge them ourselves.  If I were a fair judge, would hand out different awards and ribbons to the most precious of entries.  We saw livestock and showpieces and those who had tendered their care.  We saw it all and gave our opinions to each other.

We even walked carnival row and allowed the barkers to shout.  "Come here...it's only a dollar!" for whatever game they were selling.  I never bought into those games.  We shared the traditional funnel cake treat.  Oh...those are so deliciously bad for you.  We judged ourselves for taking part in that fare.

With powdered sugar still on my face, I looked up to see the most striking exhibit.  It was a carnival worker at the kids merry-go-round.  The painted ponies were spinning fast but my gaze stopped and locked onto one the workers.  She was very overweight.  She had just gotten her a plate of some kind of cheesy-mounded-goodness with the biggest thermos mug-full of Mountain Dew a Quick Trip store could sell.  She knelt down on the dry ground at the edge of her work space to eat.  I had to look away.  

But then I looked back and immediately tears started to stream.  God spoke to my heart in that moment and said..."See what happens when you open your life to food idols?"  Ouch!  He reminded me that I had slowly shifted away in my obedience of eating right and I had let food be more important than it should have been.  And as the painted pony worker powered down her unhealthy meal, God painted a warning that I will always remember.  

Many plates later....

Oh my wayward heart.....God once again brought this whole scene back to my mind, and today I have to tell you that I have fallen under the subtle romance of food...again.  I have taken a ride on a painted pony on the unhealthy merry-go-round of food.  I am ashamed to write this but it's true.  And maybe this is where the healing begins.  Again.  I can only say that I have allowed it for comfort and pleasure.  

Now I am judging myself.  I tend to easily dismiss my own food sin.  And when I talk about some "dark" places in my heart...food is always there lurking in the corners leaving crumbs of desires.  Can I just tell you now that I've opened the door to allow God's love and light to enter in?  

Yes, this really goes that deep for me.  

I am tired of riding this spinning painted-pony ride, up and down, on this merry-go-round of health and fitness.  No more barely gripping on to the good benefits of eating right just sometimes.   I guess you could call this my "thorn". 

I want to start caring again.  

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these...from your lips."  Colossians 3:5, 7-8

There is freedom in your discovery of whatever sin or thorn you might have in your life.   Is there anything that causes you to slowly spin away from God?  Is there something you want to ignore and dismiss because it's not that bad?

Do you know that God wants so much more for us?  

What I have found in my declaration of my weakness is my need for more dependence on God.  In my dependence on God, comes the of independence of whatever sin is weighing me down.  That's freedom at it's finest.  That's God at work, and that's my best life off of sin's painted-pony-merry-go-rounds.  

What sin do you need to let go of?  I've told you one of mine...