I'm a star player in the biggest blame game known to man. I seem to get into trouble a lot... or at least it feels like I do.
Saying I am wrong is not hard for me, in fact I say it too much. But can I just be honest with you? Um....wait....I don't know if I can...you might think my heart is puffed up, and my head is even a bigger puffed up.
Please know this, that I say and do plenty of wrongs, many, many times myself. This is something that I pray through constantly. When it comes to seeing my flaws, I see those oh so readily. When it comes to playing the blame game I am the first one to pick myself and to volunteer for the blame game duty. And I am insecure and fearful that I am blamed for a lot that I don't even know about. I am not sure when I signed up for this blame-game-that-kicks-me-in-the-pants-every-day-gig, but I have been in this competition for a long time.
Wouldn't it be more fun to talk about what I found on sale at the Dollar General store yesterday? Um....for me it would.
Taking the dangerous path of the blame game can only lead to conflict. With others and within yourself. So I have two choices:
I can take the path of prideful heart and focus plainly and specifically on the faults of others and refuse to have any responsibility in the conflict at all.
I can take the way of the humble heart and admit that I am wrong when I am wrong. And not compound my issue of assuming the guilt of others. Believe me I have enough faults of my own, I don't need to carry yours as well.
Yesterday freedom came in this verse.
Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
If Jesus doesn't blame me for my faults, then why do I condemn me for my faults? God knows I am a sinful person, that's why He sent Jesus. So why do I blame myself, or blame others? Because.... I say to myself..."someone has to take the hit." God's response was... "Someone has already taken the hit..."
What I learned in this verse was that I should not be a gamer in any blame. I can't assign blame. That's not my job, my job is to love God, act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8). If I am loving God first and foremost, then I can bow out of the line of fire when fingers are pointed at myself nor point fingers at others....because God doesn't casts blame. He doesn't see that in me, he sees me through the filter of blood with Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Listen....He doesn't cast blame on you either.
Sure, I can own up to my responsibility in causing a conflict or issue if my behavior has caused it. Do you see the freedom in God's grace? With the understanding of this verse and when I'm not a player the blame game, I am giving myself and others a gift. I am releasing the burden of judgment of the situation/issue/problem to where it belongs...to God...who doesn't casts blame.
So how will I do this? I will practice this prayer...
"God, your Word says that you do not find condemnation in my sin. Your Love took that away on the cross. The work of Jesus was good and final. So there is no part in me blaming myself or me blaming others that has a part in honoring You. Show me what to do, with the frustrations that I feel when something goes wrong. God please soften my heart so that I can feel your resolutions to anger, frustrations, insecurities and pride. Help me to cut through the assumptions and wrong thinking that tend to shut me down and apologize excessively. Help me to honor you in all my actions, words and deeds."
How do you handle blame?