I'm a star player in the biggest blame game known to man. I seem to get into trouble a lot... or at least it feels like I do.
Saying I am wrong is not hard for me, in fact I say it too much. But can I just be honest with you? Um....wait....I don't know if I can...you might think my heart is puffed up, and my head is even a bigger puffed up.
Please know this, that I say and do plenty of wrongs, many, many times myself. This is something that I pray through constantly. When it comes to seeing my flaws, I see those oh so readily. When it comes to playing the blame game I am the first one to pick myself and to volunteer for the blame game duty. And I am insecure and fearful that I am blamed for a lot that I don't even know about. I am not sure when I signed up for this blame-game-that-kicks-me-in-the-pants-every-day-gig, but I have been in this competition for a long time.
Wouldn't it be more fun to talk about what I found on sale at the Dollar General store yesterday? Um....for me it would.
Taking the dangerous path of the blame game can only lead to conflict. With others and within yourself. So I have two choices:
I can take the path of prideful heart and focus plainly and specifically on the faults of others and refuse to have any responsibility in the conflict at all.
Or....
I can take the way of the humble heart and admit that I am wrong when I am wrong. And not compound my issue of assuming the guilt of others. Believe me I have enough faults of my own, I don't need to carry yours as well.
Yesterday freedom came in this verse.
Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
If Jesus doesn't blame me for my faults, then why do I condemn me for my faults? God knows I am a sinful person, that's why He sent Jesus. So why do I blame myself, or blame others? Because.... I say to myself..."someone has to take the hit." God's response was... "Someone has already taken the hit..."
What I learned in this verse was that I should not be a gamer in any blame. I can't assign blame. That's not my job, my job is to love God, act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8). If I am loving God first and foremost, then I can bow out of the line of fire when fingers are pointed at myself nor point fingers at others....because God doesn't casts blame. He doesn't see that in me, he sees me through the filter of blood with Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Listen....He doesn't cast blame on you either.
Sure, I can own up to my responsibility in causing a conflict or issue if my behavior has caused it. Do you see the freedom in God's grace? With the understanding of this verse and when I'm not a player the blame game, I am giving myself and others a gift. I am releasing the burden of judgment of the situation/issue/problem to where it belongs...to God...who doesn't casts blame.
So how will I do this? I will practice this prayer...
"God, your Word says that you do not find condemnation in my sin. Your Love took that away on the cross. The work of Jesus was good and final. So there is no part in me blaming myself or me blaming others that has a part in honoring You. Show me what to do, with the frustrations that I feel when something goes wrong. God please soften my heart so that I can feel your resolutions to anger, frustrations, insecurities and pride. Help me to cut through the assumptions and wrong thinking that tend to shut me down and apologize excessively. Help me to honor you in all my actions, words and deeds."
How do you handle blame?
9 comments:
I get that all the time. Lol
get mad and yell...yes I know its wrong...working on that one!
I have been getting that a lot lately.
Yes they can really bring a person down.
Awesome, I am not a blamer.
I think it's horrible that some people blame others and cannot admit that they are at fault...I say if you do it...own it and accept the consequences!
Yep, I usually accept blame that isn't mine. Sometimes, it just seems easier to accept it, but then hard to let it go. How does one stop being a doormat? That's the $64,000 question.
I internalize until it won't stay down anymore then I explode... Recently God has really been working on getting all that GUNK out of my deepest darkest depths of my heart... Thank you so much for sharing... I thought I was the only QUEEN of blame, enlightened to know I am not. Long road ahead of me but with God at my side and going ahead of me I will be successful!
How do I handle blame?
I do not handle blame well. I internalize it and I beat myself up over it. Growing up, my Dad found fault in everything that I did. I was too fat, too stupid, too slow etc. After I made his supper he always found something wrong with one of the items I made. I was demanded to get his beer and fill it in a mug with ice. I did not put enough ice in the glass to his liking so he threw the mug of beer and ice at me. I stood there dripping in beer with my head down like a coward. He made me feel so ashamed, so unworthy. Over the years I have desperately tried to minimize his voice in my head but I still hear it. It is like a tape recording set on repeat. I hear his voice over everyone’s. I am working very hard on putting his voice on silent and listening to God’s instead. I have come to realize the power that I have allowed him to have over me all of these years. I am the only one that can change it. I plan on getting there.
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