What mistakes are good for

Have you ever made a mistake?  Like it or not we all make them.   

My mom had a saying, "If you can cover it up, it's not a mistake."  It makes me wonder what kind of mistake she was talking about.  Was it while she was cooking and I ate it?  Was it while she was sewing and I wore an imperfect dress?  Was it while she was disciplining me and I have blocked it out of my memory?

We tend to bury our inadequacies and weaknesses.  Some of us are pro at making them disappear without even a nod.  There are some mistakes that debilitate us and we don't dare speak of them.  Other mistakes cost us money, time, and energy.  I have learned lots in making many mistakes over the years.  

There are days that I think this blog is a mistake.

I've learned to expect the unexpected falls, the failures, and the mess-ups.  But if you are like me, you like to avoid those pitfalls.   Recently I've learned that mistakes can actually help you.  And not trying to work through a mistake is the failure.

You have to decide to be better and to try again.  

"What do I do if I fall?"  That small question was posed to me by my 3-year-old grandson, Avery, who was riding his bike around the block.  He had his helmet strapped on and was giving his ride some good energy.  I thought about my answer as I jogged alongside.  I told him, "We have to get back up and finish strong."

"But what if I can't?" he asked, with worry in his voice.  "You have to decide to try again.  You have to choose to do better."  I replied.

Isn't this true of our faith journeys too?  We fail at something and think we've misheard from God, or don't deserve a second chance at obedience?  We quickly spiral into a defense mode making excuses that erode our confidence.  What I'm learning in the trying again, re-doing, in the "make another or better effort" is that there is a strengthened power at work in the recovery of our mistakes.  

The human spirit is resilient, and hope helps us get there.  

One failure that I have experienced in the past is a stab at regular exercise, specifically running.  It never has been a part of my healthy regime, and for years only periodically, have tried to improve that habit.  Recently though I've been pretty good at making exercise a priority, and it just so happens I started with running.  But I have to be honest with you, my motivation needs a redo about every day.  It's an old habit that I am trying to break letting self-control do a new thing in my tired self.    

Another thing is that I'm learning to lead myself in successes versus failures.  I'm choosing to try again and give every attempt to bring my best.  Like in this blog.  I am choosing to get back up and try again. 

Ever since I've left a full-time job where I've had more time to write, I have wasted a lot of minutes deciding what to share with you or editing what I have started to share with you.  I have even made several attempts at writing a book and scrapped some of it because it wasn't perfect.  And yet, I started again.  I'm trying.  

I feel that I've failed at being a good blogger with over 100 drafts left unfinished.  But yet, I find myself back at this place wanting to push publish, putting my lest-than-perfect grammar skills to the test.  The plummeting numbers of this little blog project don't sit well as they shout failure, rejection, and boredom.  

Want to know what doesn't feel good?  Mess-ups, re-dos, mistakes, failures and falls.  What's powerful in the re-dos and the un-dos, is the lessons learned because of them.  

I have been taking inventory of my past lessons.  It's good to remember back and see how you've grown.  I have found what I am made of and know that I have to keep trying.  I must keep trying.  I realize that I’m far from perfect, and but I know God still has a lot of work to do in me.  

Another thing I have found out is that you might be just like me, on the inside, and while we all share the commonality of failing to live up to our better nature, we also share the bond of being able to start again.  You might just hide your failure better than me.  The biggest mistake I have made is being afraid to try again.  

The problems start when you stop taking action just because you are afraid of making a mistake.  That gives your inner critic licence to capitalize on your failures.  You can probably relate to this kind of self-talk. You might even have indulged in it.  Even if the mistake is a small spelling error, the blame and sarcasm that we direct at ourselves is always disproportionate – and damaging.

There's a hiss in the wings that's waiting to pounce on your imperfections and wants to contribute to your already full-volume spews of worthlessness.  It can be hard not to listen to that voice. It is relentless, and we may start to believe that it is telling the truth.  The inner critic is a liar who wants you step back into the shadows of your own insecurities and self-doubt for fear of making more mistakes and looking like a fool.

I believe that one can't move forward without making mistakes!

Even pros make mistakes.  The difference is that professionals don’t let mistakes put a stop to their progress.  Making mistakes is a big part of our learning process.  We learn better by making blunders and failing forward.  To fail forward is to have the courage to keep going even after we have messed up.

Why is it important to make mistakes?  So that you learn to take risks, push yourself hard, go far with your dreams, and better yourself in mistakes.  Mistakes are necessary for continued progress.  Accept this fact. Understanding that mistakes are unavoidable are an essential part of achieving growth.

Every mistake offers a lesson to be learned.  Look for the lesson, and try not to repeat it.  The best way to learn is from experience.  Silence the inner critic by getting back in the saddle as soon as possible.  Your inner critic will try very hard to prevent you from trying, it may even make you quit altogether.  I have found that the best way to silence the accuser is to slam the door on negativity, to get back up and finish strong.  

What you’re actually doing is trying to become different, unique, and you – not a different version of another person, but a more authentic version of yourself.  That’s the thing about making mistakes — it builds character, helps you become strong enough to do what you need to do in order to achieve the tangible, material goals.  The reward is in the transformation in character that comes along with it. 

It's about the beautiful exchange and the resilient change in you over all.  

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.”   - Ray Bradbury

I Said Goodbye.. Hello Voltron Force

Hello Voltron Force

Three months ago I said goodbye.  I kicked some casual acquaintances to the curb and I said hello to some real friendships.  I had just met them ten days before.  Some I had served with some before and others not but in those ten days, they became very important to me.  We traveled to some rough places where some important lessons were learned.  We got our hands dirty and our laps lovingly filled with children in the middle of some deep Jesus stuff.  It's amazing how God brings strangers together and makes something beautiful in just ten days.  He gathers like-minded hearts so quickly and knits them tightly with faith connections that mesh perfectly and completely.  

I love being a part of His love-based big picturesque plan, something bigger than myself.  I consider missions something holy. I am blessed that God gives me opportunities to be His hands and feet.  You know he doesn't have to involve us, but yet He invites me to be a part, even knowing that I am going to botch something.  He still draws and allows us to be a part of something that He ordains.  

In that span of ten days...God took a broken vessel and broke it even more.  He can increase capacities to love more, to break more, to give more, and to forgive more.  In my brokenness God still weaves a beautiful tapestry for His glory.   

I went to Africa for ten days last fall.  My confession is this...I am still wrecked from those ten days….wrecked in a good way though. God did a mighty work on the foreign soil of my heart.  And His change is still evolving.  There is a great awakening in my soul of emotions that just won't be quiet.  So instead of quickly sweeping those feelings under compassion’s rug of grace, I am completely engulfed and bringing them to the surface.  Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's joyful.

I’m still a messy canvas that God is perfecting.  I have teary outbursts for reasons only known to God from a glimpse of those ten days.  My heart is moved to action from just a text.  My emotions are engaged with a conversation that brims with hope. My faith is being rearranged to more conform to the likeness of Jesus. There are still a lot of awkward places still, some hills and valleys of the uncomfortable.

I didn't expect change, nor thought I needed it.  Some of what I suffer is separation anxiety…like a two year old.  Not with the problems encountered but with the hearts that collided while there. There are some that I just wish I could be closer in proximity to.  

God's missions’ initiative captivates.  It's always on my mind and heart.  It was safe there in the middle of chaos, pain, and turmoil. It was a haven of acceptance and security.  I was under the waterfall of grace to be who God had created me to be and exhibit the gifts that he has blessed me with. Those ten days were some of the most bold of days of my life.  I've found great comfort, and learned more about trust.  I still carry those things closely.     

So call me a wreck, I consider that a good thing. I would rather be a bulging bag of tears with my rearranged heart and have a greater capacity to love, and to be loved, than who I was before those ten days.  I'm looking forward to the next, because there will be one.  I'm positive that everything God has taught me about grace, love, and serving can go with me here and there as I learn to be His.

In ten days a miracle happened... a wrecking ball destructed some walls of protection.  This transformation is one of slowness...as I still unpack His treasures.  His love compels me to go.  I want stay close to this change on the inside.

Have you been on a mission trip?  How did God change you?