Monday storms remind me of what I love

I had many other thoughts I had written for this week but when a storm rolls in on a Monday, and brings me undone before God, sometimes my writing will take a different direction.

There's nothing in this world that I have seen better than community the rises out of adversity.  It quickly becomes the common bond in which we share as believers or neighbors.

What a Monday storm reminds me:

a weather event can still be deadly
a storm can surprise us
a tornado can bring unpredictable death

that we can't take today or tomorrow for granted
that we need to be kinder to each other
that you really never know about your next breath

that stress brings out the worst in people
that storms bring out the best in people
that storms in life brings people to their knees

that there is life after death if you believe in Jesus
that we hurt people with our calloused words
that we don't say "I love you" enough

that we are selfish by nature
that we don't talk to our neighbors
that we get attached to stuff

that in a matter of 16 minutes we can have our entire lives displayed on national television
that a tornado can splinter our spirits
that a loss of life can make us become undone before a mighty God

that death happens outside of storms
that we still need each other
that community happens in our hearts when we pray

we are stronger than we think we are
we have to say goodbye sooner than we think
when innocence dies it still hurts

that we don't talk to God enough
that we don't worship God enough
that we don't thank God enough

But mostly what a Monday or any day reminds me of is that I still need God.  Desperately.

If you have made it this far, please know that you matter.
If you are family know that I love you.
If I call you friend, know that I love you too.
God knows that I love Him most.

My Lender Be

Couldn't we all use a hug of grace?

 

They filed in one by one.  So politely and obedient with their manners packed in the pockets.  Grace was showing.  The children were so excited for VBS day as their smiles gave it away.  Surely they had experienced a Vacation Bible School day before.  Surely...it was obvious that some of them knew of Grace.

On the other end of the room something else was showing.  The tears gently fell as my heart was easily moved.  I leaned into my friend's shoulder and whispered..."How easily our hearts are lent to the things of God."  She nodded silently.  She was moved too.

There was something about their faces that moved me.   It doesn't take much to move my heart in the compassion-mission things of God.  It seems that mine is so easily lent and bent on loving kids.  "May this heart's mission never move."  Then it hit me....I had prayed for them.

Jesus had a deep compassion for people.

His heart was easily lent to love.  His ministry was easily bent on compassion.

In the three short years Jesus dispensed more grace-filled ministry than a church ever thought of, or could plan for.  More than a world wide partnership could ever reap, or the globe could contain.  His heart was and is bigger than all of that.  So when my heart crumbles a little while watching the innocent file in...I shouldn't be surprised.  I had prayed for this bending of my heart.

I pray for His lending.  I pray for His spending.  

As His follower I have to keep praying my eyes  to be open to see the broken, the oppressed, those that need a hand.  And most days God will bring someone to mind to pray for or bring a crossed path to help, or spur a written note or message.  That is an answer that God will always answer with a face or a name.

Couldn't we all use a love touch from Jesus?  Couldn't we all use a touch of  grace  and compassion?

I think back about those precious faces filing in with true joy and it reminds me of His love-bending grace that He gave me from the One who lent His blood.  Even before grace was spent.  Even before my "I need a Savior" prayer. 

Even before....I had prayed for Him to bend down and spend some grace on me.

How could I turn a cold heart to the hurting?  How can I become calloused to the crying?  How could I not be moved by such a single loving Heart?
 

Jesus was moved.

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."  Matthew 9:36

May I be like the Gentle Shepherd, the Lender of love.

And may my heart be always bent on the things above.
May this be my never ending prayer,
to be the lender of His great love.

Oh the Wonder of God's great love for each of us!

 

The Wonder of Christmas

As we celebrate the wonder of Christ's birth, it's the most generous gift of hope.
We celebrate eternal salvation.  

Matthew 1:23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" - which means, "God with us".

God came to us in the form of a baby.

A baby born in a silent night.
Shouts hope to all the world.
And it makes me wonder.

He could have come with all the trumpets of Heaven.

Jesus came on a silent night, the Prince of Peace.

God's compassion falls, Love has come.

Emmanuel, God is with us.  

Hope is born in our hearts.

What a gift of Glory.

Peace comes, a Holy Christmas.

Coping With Storms

It's been heartbreaking to see the images as a result of the recent hurricane.  Or anytime you see pictures from a tropical storm, tornadoes or the massive destruction of earthquakes, it shakes us.  It births a overwhelming feeling as the earth and all the familiar things in our lives are cut, ripped, moved, disappeared, destroyed, or worse yet just... lost.  The devastation is stunning.

Living in Oklahoma seeing these kind of images are not new.  We have had our share of disasters.  But I must say...it's something I never get over. One question that pops loose when these catastrophic events happen is this one..."Where is God in the middle of the storm?"

He's right beside you.

We often question God as if these disasters have anything to do with His love for us.  

Life weighs heavy on us, especially when we have to watch pain, loss and suffering and recovery.  All we can do is click to make a donation...and don't feel like that it's enough. We even feel like our prayers aren't enough...matched with the amount of recovery that is needed.

How can you ever recover from that kind of force of nature wreaking havoc on your reality? In these instances...I am learning that just because our world is spinning out of control doesn't mean that God isn't still in control.  Even when it looks like all will be lost and destroyed.  These type of storms are certainly heartbreaking, but know that God sees and restores.  He hasn't turned his back or rejected us.  He hurts when we hurt.  Help is on the way...and when the hand of compassion is extended...God works.

He speaks like into the broken places and brings healing through the hands of the firefighters, debri removers, the communities that pull together for a common cause. He brings miracles...too many to count.  Do not be discouraged by the difficulties that seem overwhelming, impossible or when your circumstances are shouting over your common sense.

Now it's time to bring this home....what about your pain today?

God hasn't forgotten your pain, your loss, your hurts.  He sees the destruction and the disasters.  He sees your cracks and deep crevices that are filling with resentment and heartache.  He knows and sees.  He steps in and restores.  

Ever notice with stories in the Bible that right before a miracle happens that something is broken.  There is the feeding the 5000, Jesus lifted the pieces of bread to the heavens, broke the bread and then gave thanks?

When the wedding party was demanding more wine and the servants rushed to the back of the kitchen to get the best wine...there had to be some empty jars before there was a re-filling?

How about when Jesus when asked the tired and exhausted fishermen to cast their empty nets just once more on the other side of the boat?  The disciples responded with groans...but obeyed.  They were wrong about the sea being empty of fish that day.

God likes to work when nothing else will.  God loves to work when things seem impossible.  God does the impossible.  God restores and brings miracles.  We can take delight in that we can depend and totally trust Him for who He is.  

God specializes in breaking so that only He can do the fixing.  

And when things look overwhelming, destroyed, beyond repair, and always in a state of chaos, then...it's prime time for God to rescue.  

"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, 

but with God all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26

So ask God to do the impossible in your current disaster.   
Jesus met the disciples in the midst of their storm.  
We can invite God into the middle of ours.

When Your Heart Sinks

Life stinks sometimes

Today I heard some bad news about my dear friends that are in the process of adopting not just one, or two, but three kids from Haiti.  I am fascinated with the idea that they want to increase their family by three.  Not are they making their home bigger but their hearts bigger too.  It's been crazy-good watching God school their family in this adoption process.

They might tell you different today though.  It has been an arduous journey, one that has been laced with prayer and trust in God.  Recently, they received some heart-stopping news that their official adoption papers got "thrown out".  There was some mystical error and it seems they must start over.

I don't know how you would take news like theirs...but I was hit cold and hard with sadness and this isn't even my family.  Tears streamed down my face as I texted an message of encouragement back.  My heart was breaking for them...they've worked this family expansion plan for a long time.  In fact, much time, effort, and money have been spent to get this procedure started and moving forward.  Most importantly though they have also held those three little kids near their to hearts and have already loved them into their home.

As my heart sank..I asked..."God, what are you up to?  Help make me some sense out of this?  God how can this be good?  Show us Your purpose!"  My mind immediately went to some dear friends in Jesus' inner circle...Mary, Martha and Lazarus.  Read John 11.

Imagine Martha's heart-sinking moment as she longingly looked to the horizon, with the cries of her sister's grief echoing over the silent frame of her dead brother.  Martha waited for three long agonizing days, as she hoped she would get some comfort from her Master.  The purpose of her wait was not revealed until Jesus declared it was time.  

I love the tender moment of restoration from this morbid story of life.  Jesus went to the grave site followed by the curious.  Can you hear their wondering questions?  "Help us make some sense out of this?  God how can this be good?  Show us Your purpose?!"  

Jesus' heart sank too with deep compassion over the loss of Lazarus. As He asked for the stone to be moved, dead silence met the sisters act of obedience.  Who wouldn't be confused about what Jesus was going to do next?  God's glory was revealed through Jesus' command "Lazarus, come out!"  God did this so that those sinking hearts would believe and know that only He could bring life out of death.

Only God can. 

When your world is hit bad news of something lost, or stolen or when death has left a sting, know that God has a purpose and a plan for your sinking heart of sadness.  Sometimes we see His glory revealed, sometimes we don't.  But know this...only God can bring restoration in the silence of your questions and brokenness.  Only God can bring restoration out of your obedience and trust.  Only God can bring new life to your dead places that need healing.  Only God can ask you to roll away your stones of unbelief so that His glory will be shown in your dark tombs.  

Only God can.

Dance-Baby-Dance!

So You Think You Can Dance?

In Africa, our team learned a child's game that involved acting silly and dancing like white people only could while getting schooled by rhythmical kids.  Well...ok, maybe I was the only who might have felt a tad  inadequate while doing the chicken dance.  It was a game that involved a lot of kids as it showed their sweet personalities.  We cheered from the outer edge of the circle chanting..."Dance Baby Dance".  It good mixer game and needless to say, those kids knew how to dance.


Every time it was my turn there were people laughing of course, I will be the first to tell you that I am one uncoordinated white girl...ahem.  The next dancer was one of your choosing.  So as I scanned the smiling, chanting faces, I tried to pick one who hadn't had a turn yet.  That's why I picked her.


Her demeanor was quiet and timid.  I figured she didn't get picked often.  I knew how that felt as I was always last to be picked.  

When it came to playground games, I was usually on the fringe of fun.  

I think we do this with God sometimes.  Stand on the fringe of opportunities.  We want Him to pick us to play, and but then once asked to dance, we are are shy about getting involved in His work.  The way I see it accepting Christ as your Savior is a choice, but being his disciple isn't.  It's obedience.  It's His command.  The great commission in Matthew 28 is Jesus' first directive to move.


Go!  You can't go if you are standing still or standing on the sidelines, those fringes areas of faith.  God didn't call you to be a spectator.  God involves us because he wants to use us.  This party is really about Him, and proclaiming His name, making it known.  It's not about what we bring to the circle, with our dance moves or special talents.  He knows your abilities, He is more interested in your availability.  We must give Him an all access pass to our hearts!


Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

Did you see the word between go and make?  Once you go, there is a second part.  Go and...get involved.  Engage your neighbor, serve in missions, reach the lonely, be an example or mentor.  Share history, share HIS-story.  Wear the Christ that lives in your heart!  Do anything, do something!  We can't do everything but we can do one thing that affects one person to let them know that they matter!  Make a difference, care about someone outside your circle of influence.

What are those fringe faith areas where you have been hanging out?  Go back there and teach people how to dance, make disciples.  Invest in someone.  Show them a few of your dance moves, tell them how Christ has changed your life.  Once they see God's skills....they will see real change.  Show kindness, show love, live compassion.

The Hunger Shame

Know hunger

I don't know hunger.  Oh I have been hungry and had times when it felt like the sides of my stomach lining were touching each other.  I have also been so hungry I have been nauseated.  But I haven't really known real hunger.  It's something that I fear.  


There are many kids living in abject poverty who don't eat much at all. Some are so weak that they can't hardly stand in a line.  They know hunger.

In an effort to know, I fasted and prayed to experience physical emptiness.  For several days, I ate the same meal as kids in other parts of the world.   Eating their protien enriched fortified rice was different. It was tasteless actually.  But even just eating what they eat, I still didn't experience their hunger.  At the end of my day, I knew I would go home and eat some quick-fix-leftovers out of the fridge. There are many children that don't have that luxury. Their hunger has left their tummies empty.

In my few days of the hunger game, I felt shame.  With each bite, all I could think of was my crammed-pack cabinets that were busting with foods and snacks that are casually consumed with no regard for tomorrow. I was full of regret knowing that I have so much and they have so little.  I felt shame that when most times as I'm eating, I don't think about those who go without.  Hunger affects millions of children across the developing world.    For hungry children attending school, it can be a distraction that results in permanent weak brain function.   


Shame on me....I now understand a mother's shame when knowing that there isn't enough.  How do you deal with knowing that you don't have enough to feed your family or not knowing where your next meal is coming from?  How do you choose who gets to eat?  For me this is a game changer.      


Today, I have a better understanding of their tummy grumbles.  I have never really known hunger but I am hungry to know more.  What say you?  

No Words Needed

Out of Africa....without words.

Beautiful country....beautiful people....beautiful problems.


Your pledge of support means that a child can eat.  With a pledge of $30 a month or more some generous contributors will make a donation to Children's Cup to feed a child for a month.  

Your pledge of support will not only go to support the ministry of The House FM and My Praise FM 
but it will have a double impact as you reach with the hand of compassion.  
See their faces...make your pledge.  

I Said Goodbye.. Hello Voltron Force

Hello Voltron Force

Three months ago I said goodbye.  I kicked some casual acquaintances to the curb and I said hello to some real friendships.  I had just met them ten days before.  Some I had served with some before and others not but in those ten days, they became very important to me.  We traveled to some rough places where some important lessons were learned.  We got our hands dirty and our laps lovingly filled with children in the middle of some deep Jesus stuff.  It's amazing how God brings strangers together and makes something beautiful in just ten days.  He gathers like-minded hearts so quickly and knits them tightly with faith connections that mesh perfectly and completely.  

I love being a part of His love-based big picturesque plan, something bigger than myself.  I consider missions something holy. I am blessed that God gives me opportunities to be His hands and feet.  You know he doesn't have to involve us, but yet He invites me to be a part, even knowing that I am going to botch something.  He still draws and allows us to be a part of something that He ordains.  

In that span of ten days...God took a broken vessel and broke it even more.  He can increase capacities to love more, to break more, to give more, and to forgive more.  In my brokenness God still weaves a beautiful tapestry for His glory.   

I went to Africa for ten days last fall.  My confession is this...I am still wrecked from those ten days….wrecked in a good way though. God did a mighty work on the foreign soil of my heart.  And His change is still evolving.  There is a great awakening in my soul of emotions that just won't be quiet.  So instead of quickly sweeping those feelings under compassion’s rug of grace, I am completely engulfed and bringing them to the surface.  Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's joyful.

I’m still a messy canvas that God is perfecting.  I have teary outbursts for reasons only known to God from a glimpse of those ten days.  My heart is moved to action from just a text.  My emotions are engaged with a conversation that brims with hope. My faith is being rearranged to more conform to the likeness of Jesus. There are still a lot of awkward places still, some hills and valleys of the uncomfortable.

I didn't expect change, nor thought I needed it.  Some of what I suffer is separation anxiety…like a two year old.  Not with the problems encountered but with the hearts that collided while there. There are some that I just wish I could be closer in proximity to.  

God's missions’ initiative captivates.  It's always on my mind and heart.  It was safe there in the middle of chaos, pain, and turmoil. It was a haven of acceptance and security.  I was under the waterfall of grace to be who God had created me to be and exhibit the gifts that he has blessed me with. Those ten days were some of the most bold of days of my life.  I've found great comfort, and learned more about trust.  I still carry those things closely.     

So call me a wreck, I consider that a good thing. I would rather be a bulging bag of tears with my rearranged heart and have a greater capacity to love, and to be loved, than who I was before those ten days.  I'm looking forward to the next, because there will be one.  I'm positive that everything God has taught me about grace, love, and serving can go with me here and there as I learn to be His.

In ten days a miracle happened... a wrecking ball destructed some walls of protection.  This transformation is one of slowness...as I still unpack His treasures.  His love compels me to go.  I want stay close to this change on the inside.

Have you been on a mission trip?  How did God change you?

The Days I Learned Compassion

Mine looked just like these.....wow!

I was so excited that day...I looked down and there they were, my bright new Red Ball canvas tennis shoes.  I got them for free in the mail.  My grandmother had sent off for them, she was a pioneer in the coupon and mail-in-rebate game.  She would always send of for this or that.  I would sit and watch her for hours on end, clipping and snipping, addressing rebate envelopes.  She had it down to a science.   And when I got something in the mail, it was a special surprise.


On that Sunday morning I wanted everyone to see my special Red-Ball-tennis-shoe surprise.  We pulled up to the familiar house and immediately Francis bounded out, like a race horse out of the gate.  She had been waiting for us.  She jumped into the backseat beside me, bringing with her the aroma of something fried, and wearing a rumpled dress.  I never really understood her enthusiam to go to church and Sunday School with us.  To me....it was the same verse every Sunday.  But that Sunday, you can guess what I showed her first.  Yup...my Red Ball canvas tennis shoes.  


She wasn't nearly as excited as I was about the shoes.  She looked back at her two room house with the roof that always needed a repair.  I saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes.  I just kept looking at my new red shoes.  They were that spiffy, so bright, so new, so incredible.  I felt so pretty.  It never occurred to me at the young age of eight to give them away.  


My attention was suddenly torn from my new shoes to Francis' quiet manner.  I began to wonder what it was like to have a sick mom all the time.  I wondered what it was like to not have a hot meal on your table three times a day.  I had never been without but I knew Francis had.  My parents had taken her family groceries many times.  I wondered those weird-for-my-age thoughts as I kept looking down at my new red shoes.  I'm sure her dad did the best he could to take care of her.  I assumed they had help from others.  


One day we got news that her mom passed away.  I thought about Francis and wondered how lonely and alone she must have felt.  My sympathy deepened for her as I thought about my own attachment to my mom.  We took some food to her house, my parents stayed there for a long time.  It was all very hard for young heart to understand back then.  


Fast forward to adulthood and I can now see that those Francis days were really days that God sowed the seeds of compassion in my heart.  Seeds that have now grown into full-sized gifts to give the orphaned, the needy, the disadvantaged, the fatherless.  


I don't really know if it was that day of the Red Ball tennis shoes or just the faithful obedience of my parents that unlocked this passion deep in my soul.  My heart is pierced often on a daily basis when mine and the hearts of those who are less fortunate collide.  


Why am I telling you this?  I really just wanted to provoke some thought about God's gifts that maybe lying dormant in your soul.  Acknowledging your God given gifts is really an act of recovery instead of discovery.  I believe God gives them early on so they can be developed along the way.  I think about the many missed opportunities I had with Francis....to speak into her life and let her know that she is loved and that she matters.  That's why when asked to travel half-way around the world to hug on little African hearts, I am the first to jump on board the triple 7.  Secretly though....it's my heart that takes a leap of joy. The same feeling overwhelms me when I connect sponsors with children of Mission of Mercy, tears stream, and I am overcome with joy because my heart is caught in the throws of compassion.


Those red shoes are long gone, but they have left their footprint on my soul.  I treasure the feeling the shoes left.  I treasure God's gift of compassion.  I treasure the less fortunate who need to know that they are God's beautiful.  Even if I don't have have a pair of brand new Red Ball tennis shoes to give them.