My enemy? The scale. I know that I shouldn't weigh myself more that once a week, but once again the numbers became all too important to me. I don't know what happened or how I got here. I don't know how I got to weighing myself everyday.
It's not like I woke up one day and thought, oh i wonder what I weigh now? Ok...so it was just like that....everyday. I allowed the importance of accountability to influence my thinking...and craved the visual evidence that all my hard work in making healthy choices and exercises was paying off. I always want to see the numbers fall, I always need that physical validation.
As I daily checked in to see my progress, there was none. Stuck in the middle of this plateau, the numbers were not budging. For me when I don't see success it wreaks havoc with my self-esteem. With the constant romance of this looming and judgemental inanimate object in my bathroom, it's allure was sucking me in. I was believing the lies that I am not worthy unless I made it behave, unless I behaved. It's loud megaphone was chanting my name and was heard long into the night, wedging it's way back into my list of bad habits.
Faced with this failure, I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I made a bold move. I removed it. I took it out of my house and gave it to a friend for safe-keeping. No more dancing with the dangerous.... I wasn't strong enough to resist it's tempting seduction. My trusted friend has got that thing under lock and key for some 53+ days.
In these 53 days, I will drop the notion that I am defined by this man-made display of make-or-break-your-day totals. I will not cling to it for my security. I will remain faithful in making common sense healthy food and exercises choices. I will seek my value and self-worth in God and God alone.
Have you ever been caught in a situation when you know what you ought to do but then in your weakness you don't do it?
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Lie: I need to reach the right number on the scale.
Truth: God longs for me to
embrace the worth and value He’s given.
Have you ever been caught in a situation when you know what you ought to do but then in your weakness you don't do it?
1 comment:
Way to go, I wrote a blog not to long ago called the weigh of life, and I had been doing some of the same stuff. Maybe I should go 53+ days w/o weighing too. Great blog!!
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