When life covers you up with a little soot

Sometimes, there are those days when you are required to put your big girl pants on, gulp hard, and just hold it together.  My recent kitchen remodel taught me that.  But recently I have reinforced my bravery in holding it all together.    

It's good to prepare for times like these so you know how to respond when life ushers the opportunity to be brave at any time.  About six weeks ago, my daughter and her family suffered through a house fire...twice.  They were coming home from church on a bright Sunday afternoon to find the firemen working on their house, extinguishing a fire that started from a failed power strip.

No one was hurt and we are all grateful for that.  Absolutely, no question.  However, the same embers rekindled the fire again, the very next morning blazing more damage to the roof, it's structure and all of the upstairs living spaces.

Yes, they have home owners insurance.  One of the bedrooms affected belonged to 6-month old Clarke.  She will miss out on growing up in that nursery that held so much love for her.  The attic, all the bedrooms, two bathrooms, and everything included in them, are considered a total loss in this second story home.   As for the lower level, because of the water and smoke damage, those spaces are being restored.  What the fire didn't consume is either burned, melted, smoked like a Thanksgiving turkey or charred.

All their possessions were affected, and the safety of a three-year-old who wants to be a fireman, has been shaken.  In times like these, family circles up to help pick up the pieces.  Initially, I didn't want to go in to see the damage because I didn't want to remember it with all it's soot.  But my son-in-law, Billy the pilot, asked me help move some unaffected belongings to a new rental property.  I was afraid I would lose it right there in the rubble of their lives but I knew I had to be brave.

The smoke aroma immediately filled my nostrils, as the stench was unbearable, as soon as we opened the front door.  I cautiously walked up the staircase to the charred shell of the house.  The places where we made family memories, new ways to play pretend, to read nap-time books, and where my daughter momma learned to love her little babies...everything I could see was covered in black soot.

Everything....even little Clarke's pink shoes.  That's when everything I was holding together broke a little.  I shed a few tears when I saw their life as I knew it covered with life's soot.  My little Avery talks about the fire everyday, even though he doesn't know the extent of what was really lost.

There are new questions in his mind about the event that has completely robbed him of all his toys and life as he knows it.  It's understandable given the circumstances  his family has endured.

"Does Jesus love us less now that the fire happened?"

I gasped a little when I heard that big question slipping out.  I thought of all the times we must think that about God.  When life slaps, steals, or throws us curve balls, we wonder if God knows or cares about what is plaguing us at the moment.  And then we deal with the fact that everything about us is under God's omniscient presence.

But we still wonder where God is when a tragedy occurs.  And then we wonder...about the depths of God's love for us in spite of what life has presented us with on any given day.

We wonder...where is God in the middle of my cancer, or my marriage that is falling apart, or the debt that keeps pushing us into a dark hole, or the pit of depression our teenagers fight every day, or the bouts with illness after illness, the failing health of our parents, the failing strength of the national budget, or the threat of a pandemic, or the failures of our past that we can't shake.

And then we wonder...about God's love and we wonder why doesn't God intervene when He knew all about it first?  We find ourselves gasping that question when life brings storms, fires, and things not nice or hard.

I waited for Lindsay's answer and she said what a grown up momma could only say.  "Jesus proves His love for us through the people who have helped us so much.  He proved His love by keeping us at church and away from the fire, and how no one was hurt, and everyone is safe and sound.  He showed His love for us by many people who helped us get some new clothes, a safe place to life, and some new toys."

I was at the sink washing some dishes when peace flooded my soul.  She held it together to explain one of life's biggest moments for her family, even though she herself was dealing with the same silent question, just like we all do.  She was brave when she needed to be and that kind of brave could only come from what she knew and believed about the love of God over the soot that was currently covering their lives at the moment.

When life covers everything you know familiar, comfortable, and gives you a little sooty squeeze, or strips you of precious, know that bravery awaits you too.  It's one more opportunity where God proves His love for you by showing you where you put your big child-of-God bravery, gulping hard, and leaning on what you know about God versus what life circumstance is suffocating you right now.
God makes us brave.  Need a little extra bravery today?  Watch this.

Monday storms remind me of what I love

I had many other thoughts I had written for this week but when a storm rolls in on a Monday, and brings me undone before God, sometimes my writing will take a different direction.

There's nothing in this world that I have seen better than community the rises out of adversity.  It quickly becomes the common bond in which we share as believers or neighbors.

What a Monday storm reminds me:

a weather event can still be deadly
a storm can surprise us
a tornado can bring unpredictable death

that we can't take today or tomorrow for granted
that we need to be kinder to each other
that you really never know about your next breath

that stress brings out the worst in people
that storms bring out the best in people
that storms in life brings people to their knees

that there is life after death if you believe in Jesus
that we hurt people with our calloused words
that we don't say "I love you" enough

that we are selfish by nature
that we don't talk to our neighbors
that we get attached to stuff

that in a matter of 16 minutes we can have our entire lives displayed on national television
that a tornado can splinter our spirits
that a loss of life can make us become undone before a mighty God

that death happens outside of storms
that we still need each other
that community happens in our hearts when we pray

we are stronger than we think we are
we have to say goodbye sooner than we think
when innocence dies it still hurts

that we don't talk to God enough
that we don't worship God enough
that we don't thank God enough

But mostly what a Monday or any day reminds me of is that I still need God.  Desperately.

If you have made it this far, please know that you matter.
If you are family know that I love you.
If I call you friend, know that I love you too.
God knows that I love Him most.

Coping With Storms

It's been heartbreaking to see the images as a result of the recent hurricane.  Or anytime you see pictures from a tropical storm, tornadoes or the massive destruction of earthquakes, it shakes us.  It births a overwhelming feeling as the earth and all the familiar things in our lives are cut, ripped, moved, disappeared, destroyed, or worse yet just... lost.  The devastation is stunning.

Living in Oklahoma seeing these kind of images are not new.  We have had our share of disasters.  But I must say...it's something I never get over. One question that pops loose when these catastrophic events happen is this one..."Where is God in the middle of the storm?"

He's right beside you.

We often question God as if these disasters have anything to do with His love for us.  

Life weighs heavy on us, especially when we have to watch pain, loss and suffering and recovery.  All we can do is click to make a donation...and don't feel like that it's enough. We even feel like our prayers aren't enough...matched with the amount of recovery that is needed.

How can you ever recover from that kind of force of nature wreaking havoc on your reality? In these instances...I am learning that just because our world is spinning out of control doesn't mean that God isn't still in control.  Even when it looks like all will be lost and destroyed.  These type of storms are certainly heartbreaking, but know that God sees and restores.  He hasn't turned his back or rejected us.  He hurts when we hurt.  Help is on the way...and when the hand of compassion is extended...God works.

He speaks like into the broken places and brings healing through the hands of the firefighters, debri removers, the communities that pull together for a common cause. He brings miracles...too many to count.  Do not be discouraged by the difficulties that seem overwhelming, impossible or when your circumstances are shouting over your common sense.

Now it's time to bring this home....what about your pain today?

God hasn't forgotten your pain, your loss, your hurts.  He sees the destruction and the disasters.  He sees your cracks and deep crevices that are filling with resentment and heartache.  He knows and sees.  He steps in and restores.  

Ever notice with stories in the Bible that right before a miracle happens that something is broken.  There is the feeding the 5000, Jesus lifted the pieces of bread to the heavens, broke the bread and then gave thanks?

When the wedding party was demanding more wine and the servants rushed to the back of the kitchen to get the best wine...there had to be some empty jars before there was a re-filling?

How about when Jesus when asked the tired and exhausted fishermen to cast their empty nets just once more on the other side of the boat?  The disciples responded with groans...but obeyed.  They were wrong about the sea being empty of fish that day.

God likes to work when nothing else will.  God loves to work when things seem impossible.  God does the impossible.  God restores and brings miracles.  We can take delight in that we can depend and totally trust Him for who He is.  

God specializes in breaking so that only He can do the fixing.  

And when things look overwhelming, destroyed, beyond repair, and always in a state of chaos, then...it's prime time for God to rescue.  

"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, 

but with God all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26

So ask God to do the impossible in your current disaster.   
Jesus met the disciples in the midst of their storm.  
We can invite God into the middle of ours.

Music Monday [Don't Give Up]

There are some days when life just gets to be too much.  These words just pass through your head.  "I give up".  Plain and simple surrender.  Some of you may have never been to this point, and to you I say ..congratulations.  Others...well you know what I am talking about.

This life is full of many sad and happy days, the emotional highs and lows ebb like a high tide of the sea.  Sometimes it's feeling based, sometimes it's based on your reality.  And then there are days when your reality collides with your deepest feelings and you just want out. 

This time your heart said it's had enough 
Sick and tired of everything that's so messed up
You don't wanna move on just playing games
Praying hard somehow that your life will change
When you feel like you don't know what to do
Stuck inside this maze you can't go through

(Chorus)
Don't give up
Help is surely on its way
And don't give up
And the dark is breaking in today
And just keep on moving through these storms
And soon enough you'll find the door
Just don't give up
Oh, and don't give up

These walls around you are caving in
And your life seems like it is wearing thin
And your hope is drowning in despair
It looks like you're not going anywhere
Step inside this heart and then you'll see
Such a love that is so amazing 


This song "Don't Give Up" by Calling Glory came at just the right time and God used it to turn my day around.   And that helps when He reaches down and touches my sore spots and makes them better.  

If you have a tender or rough spot that needs a little more Jesus..then I hope this song speaks to you too.

Music Monday [He Said]

With Music Mondays, I try to pick a song that means a lot to me each week.  This week I chose Group 1 Crew's song "He Said". It will be a song that I will take with me especially this week, with some difficult circumstances ahead. Yeah, it's going to be rough one, with many things out of my control.

A lot of what happens in my life doesn't make sense. I would guess it's the same for you. This past week we have had a lot of break downs. Our central air unit quit. It was old. And to get it repaired it would cost $1000's.  So we had to opt for plan B.  Only Dave Ramsey has the kind of emergency fund that can replace big stuff at a moments notice. And because it happened on the warmest day of the spring at 91 degrees, we of course had to go get some quick replacements. In the process of getting the air conditioner units home, I lost my keys. Basically it was one of those days, when you ask..."why do these things keep happening?"

I have a missionary friend name Mitch Hildebrant that entered the hospital six weeks ago for a burst appendix. Since that incident, he has had one medical challenge after another. It has not been a normal recovery. Many prayers have been said and are continuing for his healing.  He too, along with his wife, are asking "why do these things keep happening?"

I have another friend who texted me to say, "I can't do it anymore." I have to wonder if she is asking "why do these things keep happening?"

Our TV broke this week too.  Big week for break downs. 

Many days life doesn't make sense. People hurt. People hurt others; people silently hurt and the bad things don't stop. Life marches on. We pray, we cry out to God, we pray some more. And life still brings another punch of broken things. And in our shattered lives God still wants us to trust.  We get to trust. We deal with trusting God. Trust.  We trust in the One who knows the big picture of our lives.  

I will never know why Mitch had to go through six plus weeks of medical procedures. Sometimes I don't understand the constant struggles with mechanical stuff that keeps breaking around my house. There are a lot of times that I don't get what God is trying to show me through His purposes when I am going through life's tough times. It doesn't make sense.

But....through all of these life struggles, I do know that I have a Savior who loves me. Ps. 139 tells me that.

I have a Father who knows what I am going through. Ps. 46 gives me reassurance.  

I am comforted that when times get tough, the God of Joshua is also the same God who won't leave me, forsake me and gives me courage. The God of Moses, who led him and the Israelites, through the Red Sea on dry ground is my God today and the One who knows what the other side of the river bank holds.

So how do we move past all of these bad days? We have to deal with them somehow. We, I, you, we all need to remember who God is.  God is faithful.  He always has been, and He never changes.    

God loves. 

 Not for anything that we have done. God loves because it's His character. 

God is for us. 

Even when things don't appear to be working out like we think they should. 

God always accomplishes His purpose for our lives. 

God has His agenda and He wants to work His plan in your life. 

God is trustworthy.

God will calm your storms, but also as life's storms are raging 

He will calm you. 

God's peace replaces fear every time. 

 When we give Him our fears, He gives us His peace. 

God is faithful.  

God help us to stand tall, remember who you are.  

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  1 John 4:4

The Bible tells me all these promises are true. He said....in His word and that's enough for me.

"Don't fear when you go through the fire 

Hang on when it's down to the wire 

Stand tall and remember what He said"

Music Monday [Always]

I love the truth that lives in these lyrics by Kristian Stanfill.  If anyone tells you life as a Christian is easy, it's not true.  And really...it shouldn't be.  If it was, then we wouldn't need God.  God knows just what we need, when we need it, and how we need.  I am thankful that God is always for us.  When trouble surrounds me, this song surrounds me with truth.


In my walk there are many foes.  When they rise up against me, I must remember that God is for me.  When things don't make sense I must trust.  When there are storms, I ask God to calm them, but many times instead, He calms me and leads me through them.  I have learned to lean on and lean in. 


Nothing else works as well as God does.  He is my help...always.


Oh sure there are times of fear, weak faith, and doubt but one thing I do know...God's promises are true and right.  He will come through on His time, on His schedule, and for my good.  There are times of wait that I don't need to understand.  But I do need to know that I am not alone.  I need to know that God will not desert me in my desert.  He is my help.  He is Faithful.

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
These lyrics help me keep my eyes on Him, and the troubles of this world soon fade.  Whatever is clamoring for your attention isn't as important as who God is.  God is for us and God is good.  Always. 


Remember His Goodness.  Always.