The cure for Ward 8

On our recent trip to Swaziland, several steps into Ward 8 of the government hospital, I knew my heart would be troubled.  

Little did our hosts know how familiar I was with this picture of pacing, praying, and waiting at my husband's hospital bedside.  He has a past filled with much pain and surgeries.

So I understand that it's necessary and needed to help bring a cure or fix a problem.  

We were there to visit one of the Children's Cup orphans who had a minor procedure done.  Allison had gone in for what would be considered an outpatient procedure in an American hospital.  So I didn't think was going to be a huge deal, until I was a few steps in.  We walked through the first hallway and the smell of death greeted us. The aroma of fish filled the hallways. 

At least there was a hot meal being served.  

I looked up to pray one of my arrow prayers..."Dear God, help my heart to handle what's next." As I looked up, I noticed some ceiling tiles that were missing and some that were in need of repair.  The paint along the walls were worn.  There were people needing medical attention lining another hallway, sitting on the cold cement floor.  Waiting.  

People looking a cure.

I thought to myself, "How could a place that offers healing, need so much repair?"  My heart was certainly troubled.  My emotions were assaulted with all kinds of thoughts and silent questions,  while the smell of death was overwhelming my lungs.  I looked at other team members, they were feeling the weight of Ward 8 also.  

We waited to get permission to see our young friend.

Our hosts went before us and found out that Allison had been moved to the ladies ward because the beds in the children's wing were too small.  She was forced to be an adult once again at the young age of 10.    

One of the striking things about children in Africa, is the fact that because of the high HIV death rate, kids have to grow up fast.  Kids take care of siblings and themselves, many times without adult supervision, leaving them as double orphans.  Alone in a adult world.  Kids don't have much of a chance to be just children.

A generation of parents is missing in Swaziland, Africa.  

While we were waiting outside the children's wing, it was decided that we would go ahead the visit the children in Ward 8 and try to cheer them with some sweet treats.   We walked into three crowded rooms with small children laying weak and fragile.  

Beside each bed, sat sadness.  I saw things that only my heart would understand.   I sensed desperate cries and my eyes brimmed with tears for the broken and the frail.   God immediately comforted me with this verse...  

Psalm. 147:3  "God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I thought of all the times I had sat by a hospital bed, waiting for my loved one's pain to disappear.  Those days seem endless.  

...Filled with questions...
...fears and tears....
...confusion and loneliness...
...even helplessness...
...searching for God in the middle of our crisis...

...and desperate to hope.  

My heart was in pieces, as I looked into the pain-laden eyes of those who were there holding those little hands in Ward 8, I wanted to wave my magic wand for each and every child to receive the cure needed.  

Our team moved from bed to bed praying...some silently and some not, but all praying for health and hope to be restored.  

Every bed moved my heart more.

We moved to the women's ward and found Allison peacefully sleeping.  "How does sweet sleep come here?"  There was a scurry of activity from a nurse attending to the other 30 patients.  It was so crowded, open, bare and stark.  

Our host gently touched Allison's still body.  As she woke up, she was calm, but not scared. She wasn't crying or begging to eat ice cream.  She only smiled.  The brightest smile that seemed to put a little salve on my broken heart.  Her smile seemed to erase the desperation I just saw from Ward 8.  

God used her smile to remedy my heart.

At least there was some place to go to for people to get some help. 

I found out later by one of the medical missionaries that a patient only went to this barren place to die.  That's when I lost it...when I was alone that day.  So many have gone in and not come out.  

That's when God reached down and reminded me that these kids aren't alone.  He is the ultimate Healer, in her smile God reassured me of Psalm 91:11  "For He will command his angels concerning you and guard you in all your ways."

I was able to leave Allison, knowing she was in God's tender care.  (She is doing great today and is healing nicely).

Jesus is our cure.  Jesus cures what maligns and invades our bodies.  Jesus comforts our desperate hearts.  What the enemy uses to abuse us physically is cured by the work of Jesus. The gospel changes everything and it's simply bigger than a Band-Aid covering our hurts, scrapes, wounds and bruised spirits.  

God's cure mends what's broken in our lives.   He binds His cure in His perfect love. What a comfort to know that we have a God who cares, loves and intervenes.  

Children's Cup is helping with the cure, not just with medical needs but with the gospel that silences the desperate cries for love and hope.  Can you help be the cure for hurting hearts in Africa?  Send help today.  

From the broken comes anew

Beauty is birthed from broken seeds.

Imagine a seed declaring its value based on its perfection. How flawless its edges. How unbreakable its exterior.

How it must look lifeless to some but to the planter the dormant life lies just on the inside.    

The real value of the seed lies on what’s hidden. When the most important process it has to go through is it's burial in the dirt, the drench of water, and the crushing weight of the dirt just to be broken open.

Then there is the real process is germinating, growing, bursting forth with courage to begin something new.

We are walking seeds. Afraid of brokenness. Afraid of mess. When, in reality, embracing the dirt that covers us is what bursts forth life.  Seeds broken wide open become soft and pliable, moldable, breakable so that new life is revealed.

Perfection is an illusion that locks away the potential within us.  It keeps our fears at bay to make us never even look in the direction of change.  Perfection keeps us from starting, from dreaming.

I want to be planted. I want to dive deep into the dirt. I want to let the rains wash over me. Knowing that it is in this place of vulnerability is when transformation happens, and that changes everything.

For when I break, I open up. The raw within is now visible. And it turns out to be more tender and lovely than the shell I was trying to perfect and make shiny.

New life rises up from the dirt. Different. More whole. Reaching for the light of the sun.

Imagine if you would let God get a hold of your hard coated heart and breath a little Holy breath of fire into it.  What would happen if the Holy Spirit breathed some new life into your cold places?

There are dark places in all of our hearts that we hide from the Planter, and don't to give into the Light. 

I don't know why.....he wants to make all things new.  In you.

Once you do...there is such freedom, with a newness to life and such an alive feeling, like something wild just invaded and touches our soul's core nerve...and it breaks open, bursts.

Such...transformation happens.

The old has gone and the new is here...grows with God's goodness.  For at the proper time it will grow, strong and wispy, then bloom, full blossoms, bearing fruit.

Let God's wholeness touch your deep places, your old past wounds, your messy life, your dirt that you won't let go of.  Let the Healer in.  Let Him plant truth deep into those lifeless seeds.

You have to let the Planter put His holy hands on the lifeless parts, crack open some shells, a breakthrough to your dormant soul.

The Perfector wants to perfect your faith.  In the process...guess what...He will bring life, blooms and fruit as you let His love germinate.  

Beauty is birthed in so many broken open places...

Hope Is The Thing

At the  beginning of the year, I struggled and prayed over my one word for this year.  I wondered why God kept bringing this one word to my mind.  I didn't want the word He was whispering to my heart.  

No... I didn't want to carry that one word mantle.  

God kept whispering this word.....Hope.

This one word was resonating as a call to embrace.  I tried to think of other more happy words to discover, not that learning about hope can't be a happy process.  I wanted to focus on something else instead of hope.  The word "joy" was next line.  I tried to avoid it.  I tried to deny it.  I tried...to find a different word to discover.  I tried.

I was afraid to accept the word hope.

What I know about God is this that if you ask Him to define something, to show you something, or reveal hope in your life, He will do that.  That is a prayer that He will answer "YES!" to.

So I accepted the word assignment of hope.

"God what do you want me to learn about hope?"

Every page in my journal for this year has the word hope on it.  

I am learning much about what Hope means ...

what Hope brings

what hope looks like

what Hope has

how Hope heals

what hope speaks

what true Hope is...

What about hope?  I have felt hopeless about a lot of situations and circumstances in my life.  And there have been a lot of reasons for those feelings.  My view of hope is changing.

I love the way that God teaches.  To really learn an idea, I have to see what it isn't.  For me to learn what hope truly means, I have to see the absence of hope.  

I just returned from two weeks in India.  I saw hope in action.  I saw God working hope in every heart.  I saw hope in the hopeless.  I saw hope in the midst of depravity.  

I saw Hope.  I experienced His hope.

There are many feelings that I am still processing.  When hope gets bottled up and pressed together, sometimes it takes a little time to get it all spilled out.  But I am pursuing Hope in all His ways.  

Even if it means that I must suffer over this word. 

Hope shines most in the darkest places. 

Jesus brought hope for me on the cross.  

Jesus was bruised for my hope.  

Hope now lives. 

May it live in my heart like it shines in His.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." ~ Hebrews 6:19

In An Instant Our Security Crumbles

Light in the dark

If you have been watching the news lately, there has been some very disturbing news of a school shooting that stole the lives of little innocence.  In an instant,  normal worlds were changed forever.

In an instant our world was changed forever.

It became real to me as I was wrapping some gifts this weekend that there would be some  gifts under Christmas trees this year that will be unopened.  Unwrapped memories.  

When I thought about the loss of life of vibrant children, it always moves me to become unwrapped emotionally.  I was undone with raw emotions as I thought about how in an one act, an instant, our life can change ...just.like.that.

Life is a gift to enjoy.

Why does it take a horrible tragedy to make us come to grips with this reality?  Why does our own mortality feel out of control at this moment?  All of a sudden an argument about a $20 frying pan isn't important.

The violent act of one man, changed the future of a school, the landscape of a community's heritage.  In one instant, he fed his anger and acted on a really bad decision.  Evil exists in this world because people make bad choices.   And sometimes their bad choices change our forever....in an instant.

But God....

Let's talk about hope, because that is a more happy subject.  And it heals our hearts as we focus on God in the stillness of our forevers being changed.

At the end of last Friday, God was still God.

God knows, God is.

God is not dead nor can He be a victim of any gun shooting or violent act.  God doesn't leave us alone nor does he cause this kind of evil act.

God protects, and intervenes and is good.  God is enough and able.  Always.

God indeed knows all.  His mercies are still new every morning, and in an instant He forgets your sins as soon as it leaves your lips.

God restores broken relationships and broken hearts.  God heals our wounds.  God lifts those who are crushed in spirit and feeling very low or sad.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Ps. 34:18

God is trustworthy and faithful and in an instant, when you call on His name, He hears your cries and collects your tears.

So when, in an instant our safe little world is threatened, don't run away from the very One who can hold you your heart steady during these insecure times.  Nor don't blame God for any evil that has happened to you or that you see on the nightly news.

God is good because it's His character, He loves.  Love wins.

Be the light that people are looking for in this dark and insecure time. God's light will prevail.

Light triumphs over dark. Every.time.  Instantly.

Coping With Storms

It's been heartbreaking to see the images as a result of the recent hurricane.  Or anytime you see pictures from a tropical storm, tornadoes or the massive destruction of earthquakes, it shakes us.  It births a overwhelming feeling as the earth and all the familiar things in our lives are cut, ripped, moved, disappeared, destroyed, or worse yet just... lost.  The devastation is stunning.

Living in Oklahoma seeing these kind of images are not new.  We have had our share of disasters.  But I must say...it's something I never get over. One question that pops loose when these catastrophic events happen is this one..."Where is God in the middle of the storm?"

He's right beside you.

We often question God as if these disasters have anything to do with His love for us.  

Life weighs heavy on us, especially when we have to watch pain, loss and suffering and recovery.  All we can do is click to make a donation...and don't feel like that it's enough. We even feel like our prayers aren't enough...matched with the amount of recovery that is needed.

How can you ever recover from that kind of force of nature wreaking havoc on your reality? In these instances...I am learning that just because our world is spinning out of control doesn't mean that God isn't still in control.  Even when it looks like all will be lost and destroyed.  These type of storms are certainly heartbreaking, but know that God sees and restores.  He hasn't turned his back or rejected us.  He hurts when we hurt.  Help is on the way...and when the hand of compassion is extended...God works.

He speaks like into the broken places and brings healing through the hands of the firefighters, debri removers, the communities that pull together for a common cause. He brings miracles...too many to count.  Do not be discouraged by the difficulties that seem overwhelming, impossible or when your circumstances are shouting over your common sense.

Now it's time to bring this home....what about your pain today?

God hasn't forgotten your pain, your loss, your hurts.  He sees the destruction and the disasters.  He sees your cracks and deep crevices that are filling with resentment and heartache.  He knows and sees.  He steps in and restores.  

Ever notice with stories in the Bible that right before a miracle happens that something is broken.  There is the feeding the 5000, Jesus lifted the pieces of bread to the heavens, broke the bread and then gave thanks?

When the wedding party was demanding more wine and the servants rushed to the back of the kitchen to get the best wine...there had to be some empty jars before there was a re-filling?

How about when Jesus when asked the tired and exhausted fishermen to cast their empty nets just once more on the other side of the boat?  The disciples responded with groans...but obeyed.  They were wrong about the sea being empty of fish that day.

God likes to work when nothing else will.  God loves to work when things seem impossible.  God does the impossible.  God restores and brings miracles.  We can take delight in that we can depend and totally trust Him for who He is.  

God specializes in breaking so that only He can do the fixing.  

And when things look overwhelming, destroyed, beyond repair, and always in a state of chaos, then...it's prime time for God to rescue.  

"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, 

but with God all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26

So ask God to do the impossible in your current disaster.   
Jesus met the disciples in the midst of their storm.  
We can invite God into the middle of ours.

Five Minute Friday {Broken}

This Is Broken

Maybe you haven't noticed, but the world we live in is broken.  

It's full of broken marriages, broken finances, broken relationships, 

broken cars, broken bones, broken children, broken adults, and broken hearts.  

Our world is broken over pleasure.

We are a broken people living in a world that needs a fix.  

In all my search for truth, there is only one answer....Jesus.

I am thankful that we are a broken people, otherwise we wouldn't need a Savior.  

God's heart breaks too.  

It breaks when he sees His children reading their Bibles on Sundays and then on Monday acting like that they don't know the truth of His word.    

It breaks when he sees cancer.  It breaks when He sees little kids starving.  

It breaks when we don't share with those who need.

It breaks when we try to steal His glory.

It breaks when He hears someone say "There is no God."  

It breaks when we put idols before Him.

It breaks into pieces when someone doesn't choose eternal life in Heaven through faith in Jesus.  

Pause...think about this a minute...He gave us His breath of life when he created...yet there are some that chose not to believe that He is the Maker of all things. Heart-breaking!

In our brokenness, God works in our cracks and broken places to draw us closer to His side.  

I trust Him to hold all my broken pieces.  

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Ps. 147:3

God can fix your broken heart but first you have to give Him all the pieces. 

Maybe...In My Dreams

Speak Your Dreams

I haven't ever spoken my dreams....to you.

I don't even know if I am brave enough to speak about them today. This is an area where I need God to work in me.

Maybe you have never thought about this.

Honestly, I'm afraid to have any out loud conversations about them.

I was talking to my friend and I asked myself the hard question.

Why don't we talk about our dreams?

My answer scared me a little. I'm afraid to speak my dreams.

I'm afraid that my dreams are just that...my dreams. Not God's.

I'm afraid that my dreams are buried way too deep. Planted in my self-esteem.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that my heart is maybe broken over them.

I'm afraid when my heart breaks so easily.

I'm afraid that God won't grow these dreams in me. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid to trust God for them. 


We live in a "take action" world.  If I don't make my dreams happen, who will?

I'm afraid to speak my inmost desires. I am afraid to dream.

I'm afraid to speak my dreams to you. To God.

How ridiculous is this?

I'm afraid that if my dreams don't match up to God's then they won't come true.  Are my dreams even godly ideas to think about?

God...are my dreams your dreams?

Where did my dreams come from? Certainly not from my father...we have never spoken our dreams to each other. Not from my mom, we never met about those either.

So God...when were these straight-up-crazy dreams born?

Why am I talking about dreams so much? Because...as believers we don't speak them often enough. Maybe it's considered false hope. Maybe I am wishfully thinking about my dreams. Maybe when I tell you that one of my dreams is to write a book. I am afraid that you will laugh at me. Maybe when I spoke my dream once...you walked away, shaking your head, and thought...."that will never happen".

Maybe I don't believe in my ability to write my thoughts.

Maybe I might have some lofty dreams about glossy covers. Maybe this isn't God's dream for me.

Maybe I don't trust God with my dreams.

So let's turn the page...The failure of speaking my dreams ends here.

Can I trust you? Will you encourage me to continue seeking my dream? Are you strong enough to hold me accountable? God, can I trust you with my secrets? My dreams?

This is an area in my faith journey where I have to be transparent with you.

It kind of hurts to say it...but....I don't really trust myself to make things happen.

I can't see the last page. I can't see the results. That's where God comes in. If I say I trust God then I also have to trust God for everything. Even the results. Even when I don't know the end of all the stories. Even when I'm still caught up in the middle of my mess. Even when I can't write my dreams clearly. Even when I can't put two words together to make a sentence. I have to trust God who holds all the words that will ever be written.  I can't go wrong with trusting God with my dreams.

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Yes, God I can trust you with my dreams.

Do you have dreams? Do you trust God with them?

Sunday Scripture [John 15:5]

Remaining

In the spring, vines often produce flowers.  Some vines produce fruit or vegetables.  If you look at the same vines in the winter season, however, it often looks like there is no growth.  It's essential for the vine to stay connected in the the down times of growth to maintain a constant source of nurtrition for the spring. Once cut, the vines will not flourish.  The joint must not be broken.  

With Jesus' words recorded in John, He was giving the disciples a word picture about spiritual growth.  Jesus is the Vine, our Life source.  Our Only Source.  We, as believers, are the branches.  It is essential to stay connected to our only source of Life.  If we remove ourselves, we will not bear fruit, we will not grow, we will shrivel.  Jesus gives life, maintains growth and bears fruit in us IF we remain connected to Him.  We must stay grafted to Jesus.  Jesus must remain our source of life.  Without him we will shrivel, dry up and be unproductive.

We are not designed to do this life alone.  You have heard of the saying "a God-sized hole" in your heart, I believe that to be true.  Part of God's intimate design for each of us is a need that can only be filled by him.  So when we try to fill our lives with everything but God, we will get a false sense of security and satisfaction.  No one wants that!

Remain.Connect.Stay.Grow