I would be a bag of tears too

Jesus didn't concern himself about the celebration details, his grand entry, nor the what list it took to prepare for each man, woman and child to have a palm branch to wave.  He didn't concern himself with that matter.  Yet He was moved to show emotions upon His grand entry on the biggest week of his ministry.

I am moved by the Savior's emotions.  When He displayed emotions it's powerful and it speaks to His heart of compassion.  Jesus wept.  As he enters the city that was welcoming a King, His cheeks streamed with tears and they weren't tears of joy.

He was brokenhearted over the people who didn't get him, moved by those those who missed his purpose and didn't listen to his message.  He wept from his deep love for those whom he was about to die for.

He wept from the deep heart of the Father.  He cried for those who would be rejecting him, beating him, and putting the nails in his hands.  In my opinion, the biggest grace filled verse is the shortest shout from John 11:35.

This love strikes a deep cord in my soul with "Jesus wept."

Picture this, the disciples had traveled with them, Jesus had performed mighty miracles and given great and encouraging messages to believers and definitely shown his healing powers with many communities.  What stands out to me about his announcement at the beginning of a most intense and passion-filled week is that Jesus is deeply moved by his love to reach those who he knew were going to lead him to death.

Jesus is mourning.

"When will they get it?"
"When will they get who I really am?"
"When will they just trust me for what I have said?"

There's something striking about presumed endings that are really new beginnings. The ministry of Jesus was about to transition into a world-wide ministry, and even his disciples were missing the point of why He had come.  I think I would be a bag of tears at that point too.

How often do we miss it?  How often do we miss Jesus in our daily lives?  I shudder to think.  That's why we need to go back to the basics of Jesus.  We need to remember that Jesus has deep feelings for us.  Remember.

Remember who He is,
Remember what He has done,
Remember his teaching,
Remember where we are going,
Remember why Jesus.

Remember why Jesus wept.  As He said it will be, it will be just as He said.  Remember He is a man of His word.

My Midge personality

When I was a child I played with dolls.  At the mature age of seven, I wanted a Barbie for my birthday.  I got a Midge doll instead.  I was very disappointed that year.  My sister had a Barbie doll and I wanted one just like hers.  So I pretended my Midge was a Barbie.  Every time I played dolls, I measured my wild imagination against something that didn't exist.  

My Midge doll never measured up to my sister's Barbie doll.

I never told my mom how I really felt about my Midge doll.   I packed it away in my personal paraphernalia, neatly folded in my heart and became skilled in comparisons.  I didn't unpack that cluttered thought  until years later when it hit me that I would never measure up to be "Barbie" perfect.  

As a child, I was compared to my siblings in everything.  In school, I was lacking in any sport skill.  I was always the last to be picked for a team.  I was the first out in kickball.  The last to grab a swing on the playground, the slowest, the weakest, the least, and the heaviest.  I compared my worth to the abilities I saw in others.

I grew in wide stature, thinking everyone was my competition.  My efforts in everything centered around pleasing people with what I could do.  I could make people laugh, I could be a good friend who tolerated just about every kind of treatment, and I was loud.  

On the inside though, I just wanted you to like me.  Days upon days I used to wrestle with just seeking approval.   Gratefully, I have moved from that insecure place, those feelings of failure in the life department.  My past comparisons don't  hold a fearful grip on my thinking anymore.

How did I kick this bad habit of self-comparison thinking?  I signed up for God's Triple A Team.  I am approved, accepted and anointed because I am His.  You are too.

What teaches us to measure ourselves as unacceptable, unworthy and longing the discovery for our place in this world?   We pin our hearts on what the world says about us instead of believing what God says about us.  We look to Pinterest.com to find our best look instead of seeing God's reflection of His deep love for us as recorded in Psalm 139.  We train by imperfect sources.  God longs to perfect us, for His creation to know and live from His approval.  

Our worth is from Jesus who has already compensated for our imperfections.  Your worth was worth dying for.    This changes everything.  

Comparisons are deadly. Comparison breeds discontentment. 2 Corinthians 10:12 says, "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise."  It's not a good practice to measure yourself to the standards of man. The danger of comparison is no matter who you compare yourself to, there is always someone whose prettier, skinnier, smarter, faster, more connected, reads faster, blogs better or is in a more prominent position than you.

Comparisons create pride. "We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or clever, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about." ~ C.S. Lewis.  Comparing only makes me think I have to measure up to man's imperfect standards of success.   It leaves me wanting more of what man has accomplished.

Comparison leave us resentful.  We become resentful of God's blessings when we compare His goodness at work in our lives.  We ignore God's mercy with the idol of entitlement.  We receive God's grace and mercy by faith in the proven worth of Jesus.  Knowing that should drop all the competitions for the the blue ribbon comparisons that we seek.   "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. " Philippians 4:11-12.

Know who you are. Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." God loves you, and has chosen you to be His child before the foundations of the world were created. Accept that He loves you uniquely just like He has gifted you individually and with a specific purpose.  We are to use what He's planted inside of us to bring Him glory.  

Stuff or people will never fill a need that only God can fill.  God doesn't compare His children.  In fact, God hates comparisons.  We are created and gifted individually by God who loves us the same.  Knowing who are in Christ is also knowing who you don't have to be. 

The danger of comparison is that we find ourselves looking to other people for our value and determining our worth by how we compare with other people. It's fine for bargains, cars, apples and shoes but not for people. When we compare, we become the focus.  We pinpoint ourselves, we hang ourselves in the noose of man's judgement, above God's proven love for us.  Our long lists of who gets the "what"...the car we wanted, the job we needed, the spouse we desired, the most gifted children, the bigger ministry, the greener grass on the other side of the prettier fence, this dwelling in the land of shiny things  is meaningless.  Searching for our dreams at the mercy of man's measurements will never satisfy. 

Man's measurements can't compete with God's measure of us.  Live from God's approval and don't look for man to feel approved, accepted and loved.  Knowing the deep love my Heavenly Father brings all the acceptance I need.  I am His daughter accepted, approved, and anointed.

What sorts of comparisons seem to have the most negative impact on your life?

I'll believe it when I see it

The Easter story wouldn't be complete without the inclusion of "Doubting Thomas".  Sometimes I think that loyal follower gets a bad rap.  Haven't we've all struggled with doubt at one point in our faith journey?  If I was honest, I know I have.

It's true that Thomas was a doubter, and labeled as such, but his doubts were included for a purpose in John 11:24-29 .  I think he really did want to know the truth and once shown proof he did believe.  He had to see his reasons before he could actually believe it.

Seven days later, wondering what to believe about Jesus, Thomas believed.

"I'll believe it when I see it."  Think about how many times you hear that in a day's time.  We are cultivating a breed of doubters instead of faith leapers.  Once Thomas saw the reasons to believe, he did.  What is encouraging to me was that once seeing the evidence of Jesus' death by the crucifixion, his heart responded over his head knowledge.

He let Love win over his reasoning.

You see, we all are met in different steps of our faith journey when it comes to Jesus.  We will all have a chance to respond to the truth that Jesus died for our sins as payment for our wrong doings. Jesus is actually a fulfillment of God's promise for the Messiah for us all.  His purpose was finished on the cross and accomplished through the resurrection.  

For Thomas, doubting was only his way of responding to Christ's work, versus his way of life.

Our glimpse of Thomas is brief but his character does come through in the struggle with his heart and head.  We don't know why Thomas missed the first appearance of Jesus to the disciples after the resurrection, but he was reluctant to believe the eye witness of the others who were overjoyed with what they had seen.  What is striking to me is that Thomas wrestled with the truth for 7 days.  That's a long time to wonder if Jesus is really who He said He was or so it seems.

Then I think about last week, that stone of doubt that fell fresh again in my day and how I struggled with it.  Doubt for me has been a challenge in my faith.  But what I have learned is that in my faith walk that doubt can indeed can serve a purpose.  What I have adopted is this hurdle jumper to my doubting moments:  

I will let doubt fuel me instead of fool me.  

In the proving of a truth, when I have a doubt, it causes me to rethink the lesson that God is trying to teach me or a truth He is asking for my obedience in.  I used to question it but now I seek a deeper answer from God or push myself towards action or a decision.

I'm not really fond of doubt, how it's a bedfellow of faith, but it can teach us to seek God more.

In our faith journeys we are either moving forward or stepping backwards, and doubt has a way of stonewalling us into paralyzing situations because of fear.  So when I encounter doubt, or doubts hit me blind-sided, I re-examine my direction and my directions from God.  I will always fall back on His promises which prove His faithfulness and character.  It really does help to dispel the enemy's lies that consume our hearts with dark fears and worries.  

Another point I see from including doubt into believing the resurrection story, is that it brings to light that some hearts just flat out struggle in believing Jesus for who he says he is.  So if the struggle goes a bit deeper into our history, then some of the lies that have been swallowed need to be undone, before they can be re-done by the loving work of Jesus.  

Jesus is the only one who could do what He did for us.  Jesus is a man of his word, a man of God's word, He is the Word, and perfect representation of the Father.  No one else in history has died for me nor would anyone ever do that.  The comforting fact is that Jesus will go to great lengths to prove Himself to us.  He loves us that much.  That reflects the eternal and powerful character of God, our Creator.  

Christ doesn't give up on us, like we want to give up.  It's one thing to believe in what Jesus says, it's another to believe Him for who he says HE is.  Jesus is hope.

Eternal hope speaks to God's character also...we are loved by a everlasting God who will go to the ends of the earth to reveal Himself to us, as if we were the only ones on the face of the planet that have doubts.  

The story of the Resurrection is believable and life giving, God promised us a Savior and Jesus fulfilled His holy plans for us.  God's word stands the test of time and overcomes all doubt. Love wins in the end, "it is finished" and done.  So for our hope we can stand on and believe in His promise of salvation too, to our end.     

What doubts about God do you struggle with?  

My soul ached with an emptiness I couldn't describe.

The ladies hurried in and started removing items one by one. The lights were dim in the room that brought a quiet solitude. Everyone was reverently sitting and watching. One by one the candles disappeared, the flowers were next, then the cross that was centered on the veiled stone altar. In only a few minutes, nothing was left but the stark reality of masonry. As the decorations were being stripped from their normal resting place, it was in that moment I realized I needed Jesus.

I grew up in a Christian home. In fact, my parents were Christians and did their best to raise me in the church. Every time the church doors were open, we were there. Not on the front row but our family definitely had a pew that was ours. I grew up knowing the stories and the wonders of Jesus and that he died for the sins of the world. I knew that. I had been to Sunday School and had heard many sermons on that subject. Yes, I was a Christian. So I thought. Once married I went with my husband to church membership classes. I knew our church religious practices very well.

After we had kids, I also knew the importance of training them up in the way they should go. It was important to me to have a Christian home, just like I was raised in. Little did I know, though, that I was running in the opposite direction, away from God. It looked like I had it all together and knew all the right answers, but that was not the case. In reality, I didn't have a personal relationship with Christ. I only knew of Him. I had studied Him and acknowledged His existence, but there was a huge chasm of difference between my head and my heart.

My soul ached with an emptiness I couldn't describe. I sat alone in the cold, dark reality of my solitude.  

In that quiet and holy moment, it seems that I was the only one in the pew. God bent down and touched my soul in a way that I knew I needed a Savior. Heaven opened up and grace came down.  I suddenly felt God chip away at that hardened surface as it if were a block of ice readied for a masterpiece. 

Whispers to my heart..."I sent my Son for you, He died for you. That's how much I love you. And yes, even if you were the only one on this entire planet. I did that ....just for you." 

There were no trumpets blaring, no special lyrics, no confetti, party horns, no balloons, no compelling preacher, just Jesus bending down. 

It was if my eyes were opened as they filled with tears. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I needed to change.  I confessed my wrong ways, bad habits and behaviors. As I was praying, I accepted Jesus' love and forgiveness in my heart. After that, I was different.

My experience was a turning point in my walk faith. I came away from that service different and filled with love and joy. I had made the decision to let Jesus be my Lord and Savior. Now if I die before I wake, I know that I will be at the feet of Jesus. 

I am that sure. 

I turned away and I removed all things that were getting in the way of me living a life of faith. Those bad habits stopped. I filled my mind and heart with the things of God. I now live to please God instead of myself desires.  That was 25 years ago and I can remember it was like yesterday. I thought I was a Christian, but I really wasn't. I was only riding on the shirt tales of my parent's faith. 

Find out for yourself what you believe and why. Right now, ask yourself, if you died tonight, do you know without a shadow of a doubt....that you would see Jesus? If not, stop reading right now, and ask Jesus into your heart. It's that important. 

Ephesians 2:8 - 9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; not by works, so that no one can boast."

Admit you need forgiveness.

Confess the things you know are wrong.

Believe Jesus died on the cross for your sins.

Receive His all encompassing forgiveness.

God's grace is a gift. You can't earn it nor can you get it by osmosis. Even if you have been in church all your life, and think you are a good person, you have to actively accept Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins. Your guilt has been taken care of...because of His Love for you. Yes you ....as if you were the only one on the face of the planet. This is grace, this is love, this is forgiveness, Jesus is the only way to God. He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. No one gets to the Father except through Jesus.

You have to choose to accept Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins. The Gospel changes everything.   It's grace, it's love, it's forgiveness, and grace changes lives. Jesus bridges the gaps between heads and hearts, sins and righteousness, life and death. 

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Don't let another Easter pass without experiencing the cross and receiving love and forgiveness that God has for you.

Do you want it?

If you have been living with an addiction to food, drugs, alcohol, lust or whatever the struggle, you know that this life can be somewhat disheartening.  And the longer you struggle with a problem, the longer it persists, the more discouraged we become.

It challenges our faith.

It seems that daily our chronic problems become bigger...or never fade. Maybe this is just the life God has designed for us. We tend to give up, and give into our weaknesses and don't see a way out.  There are road blocks galore.

To add insult to our injuries, the more excuses we make the more discouragement amps it's voice.  Every thing, everyone, is against us. Excuses, shame, guilt, shame, excuses, and more guilt.

It's a broken record of our life.  The more days you tolerate the more you are sucked into the lie of the familiar Accuser's voice.  If one more bad things happens you just might lose it!  It might be time to let God turn the table around for our true heart's desire.  

"You can't change what you are willing to tolerate."  Craig Groeschel.  

How often have we've learned to accept the guilt, the shame, the circumstances that seem plague us every day?  We secretly suffer in the Christian life thinking that the good life is just for that other "believer" who has it all together.  

Dear defeat, please meet my Overcomer, Jesus.

We must want the kind of faith that depends on Christ, to leave the familiar lies, those that cast doubt as is the biggest enemy or an even bigger trap, the familiar.  The longer we are stuck in the familiar, the more we need to have faith that God is working for us, not against us.  

We have to do our part too in believing God for who HE says He is.

Is your desire is bigger than your disability?  God can still move in your life, even if it's been a while, like 38 years. It doesn't matter how long you've been down, by the power of Jesus, you can overcome.

Do you really want it? If you want it bad enough you can have desire to want to change. With the power and hope in Christ, we are not out of the fight. What is your greatest misery can now become your greatest ministry. But know this about God, His healing won't come as expected.

I know this personally as I used to look to food for comfort.  Then one day I lost hope to ever losing weight.  I asked God to be my comfort instead of food.  He answered my prayer that day by putting my hands on the stones of belief.  The Spirit helped to roll away the lies that had been holding me back.

God is my comfort and strength when I want to eat every piece of chocolate man has made.  I've lost 132 lbs to prove God's grace in me and through me.  I believed God when HE said that He would take care of my needs as my good Shepherd.  I  believed him when He said that He even looks after the lilies of the field, and the birds of the air.  I believed that He would take care of my food needs in a way that was healthy and pleasing to Him.

I believed God for who he was, not just for what He could do for me.  I am not enslaved to food anymore and am walking in the freedom of looking to my Comforter each and every day I want more.  

When you believe God for who He is, that's a game changer.  I want what God's best is.  Once you roll away those lies, you can see where your help comes from.

Ask God to do what only HE can do. Are you looking to yourself for something that only God can do in you? Take a step of faith forward, pick up your faith, and look to Jesus to give you the healing you need, the kind that can only come from God. The healing your soul longs for.

God is a mystery. It’s not that He doesn’t want you to know these things, it’s that He wants you to get close to Him and find out so that He can teach you. When you get close enough and quiet enough, He’ll whisper a secret to your heart and it will change your life.

In that moment, all your fear will be gone. Ask God to speak to you today.   We can all begin anew, God wants to help you but have to want HIS help to get it.

Do you want it?  You can hear an incredible message about this here.

Don't miss the wonderful waiting days

Photo Credit:  Cindee Snider Re

I wrote a post about this...not many of you read it.  I know you are very busy right now.

That's okay, because I still needed to write it.  But if you have a moment, before you read this one, take a look at this one too.  Because this one is kind of a long read...

This devotional series isn't what I had planned for today but rarely does my writing go along with my plans.  For something that is Spirit led, guess what?  It doesn't drop from the magical word bank on the Internet.  It festers and grows and works in my life first before I can put it into words.

In other words God makes it real to me, then I am compelled to share it with you.  And for many things in life, tangible and not, I am waiting on God to make words absolutely brilliant in my life.  Perhaps He is waiting on me to not miss the lessons in waiting.

First of all, I think I have determined that I am a little ADD.  This is a self-diagnosis for sure, but sometimes I wonder about myself.  And I know that by making this admission to you, you will be begin to wonder about me too.  I can literally have 10 conversations at once.  

And....I can keep track of them all.

I'm finally not embarrassed to share that.  I don't know why I would be ashamed, except to say that I might seem a little crazy to you.  Seriously.

To be honest with you, there are days when it feels a little like I am losing my mind.  If you believe that I am crazy then, welcome to my club.  I live in crazy town most days.  (Random musing)

So what does this have to do with writing Advent devotionals?  Well, here's a message that God has been perfecting in me for years.

And He took me to a place of waiting that I didn't want to go.  

God, I want your truth in this and may I have it right now please?  ROFL (Google this to explain the text-speak, that's for you non-texters out there).

Plain and simple, these Advent days are a gift.  A gift of anticipation for what the Gift is.

What... you say?  A gift?  How can waiting be a gift?  NIARROTFL (Now, I am really rolling on the floor laughing)  See how ADD I can get while just writing a imagined text speak phrase here?

Yes, Advent, a time of preparing can be a gift.

Let's unwrap this....(wink)!  As a mom I have birthed two live babies.  And each time of waiting for the appropriate delivery day, I've prepared.  It's in the nurturing part of my character, I want to make our home as perfectly new as I can, just like the new life that I welcome in.

We all know that a baby changes everything....  Or you should.  And if you don't know that yet, strap in.  A baby can upset and change your life more than you can imagine.  It changes... your home...and...

your spaces
your schedule, days and nights
your sleep patterns
the calendar you like to keep tidy
the appointments you keep promising
your swallowing your man-pride of the idea mini-van
your insurance, life, car, and otherwise
your will for when you die, think about it!
your heritage, your entire family tree
your dreams for him or her, or them to be legendary
your entire life is uprooted and changed
your entire perspective about life is redesigned

There are a lot of things to plan for when welcoming a baby, if it's for first time or not.  Even baby number 20 takes some rearranging of the home.  Although the Duggar's have mastered this feat.  (Another random musing)

Preparations must be made to receive a new living breathing person.  With my daughter right now, she is expecting baby number two, a girl.  Now...pause...I am SUPER excited about this news.  Not just that it's a nice, new addition to our family, but because of the baby's gender, it will be a planned opportunity to unleash the inner diva in both of us, (giggles....every mom is connecting right now).  That inner beauty of a dreamy baby with pinky-ribboned and curled long thick locks of hair bouncing in the summer's sun, dressed in unfurled lace and glamour.  A time to rock our baby girls skills, and with an "out-of-this-world-girl-style".  (Yes, I am posting this term on Wikipedia as we speak).  

We are both finding great excitement in these plans, in the days of waiting until she arrives.  All this baby talk brings much excitement, anticipation, and expectations.  So many opportunities to learn and grow again.  As she prepares the nursery for round two, the closet spaces, the expected living quarters, the traveling supplies needless to say there are a few things we have learned in the days of waiting and some things we have forgotten.  

As we plan, we are using our first child's birth experience to compare and gain wisdom.  She is trying some new things, and building on the wisdom gained from Avery, her first child.  Pause....I secretly laugh because all mothers know there are no two babies alike.  How many times have you screamed in your heart "I wish I knew what I was doing?"  or "God, make me a better parent!"  

When I speak of growing, I'm not just talking about the mid-sections that expand as the days go by, but our spirits.  We have more days to wonder about the new life coming to take up residence in our cluttered corners.  We dream about what she is going to become....hopefully a mother herself and I secretly pray I'm alive to witness that.  We pray that she is healthy and full of energy.  We ask God, no implore, that's she perfect in every baby way.  

That's what all parents want for their children.  A perfect life.  A pain free life.  A better life than we know it right now.  And in the days of waiting, we hope, we pray, we learn, we prepare for what we assume "perfect" to arrive on it's appointed day.

So as we reflect on the birth of Perfect, we long for a heavenly breathe to fill our lives.  We long for a glimpse of Heaven to come to us.

As a mom, you plan the waiting days but from my experience they go by really fast.  Yes, it's easy to see that now.  When you are talking about waiting for nine months, and some of you have been waiting years ( I know this too) to say "We're having a baby!".  

The waiting days can be a bit excruciating.  But let's not miss the lessons of these Advent days.

I know of a couple who tried to conceive for years.  Then God led them to adopt internationally.  They went through the long process of waiting for all of the rigorous paperwork, visits, etc.  (And I don't even know half of their story of waiting) but God finally delivered two Ethiopian children to their home.  They prepared for two new children to their home.  As a cherry on top in their days of waiting, they also found out recently, that now they themselves have conceived and God is blessing them with a child of their own next Spring.  What a miracle after all those years of waiting!

Now if you were to ask them, or anyone else that has waited or is still waiting for a child, the days of waiting are long and tedious.  For others, like me, looking on the outside into their circumstances, I would tell you that it went by really fast.  In either case, it's hard to wait for something you want so badly, but it's also necessary to wait.  

In the waiting God prepares us to be good parents.  In our waiting, God is preparing us.  (Honestly I could go on and on about this analogy).

As we turn our hearts to the manger, we wait.  We wade through all the clutter of Christmas, for that magical moment to experience the simple Christ child story.  And we wander through all of the parties, the decorations, the lighted displays, the gift buying, the long lines at the merchandise counters, the weeks of the expected package delivery, the bargain-hunting adventures to find the best gift at the right price.  

And we miss the lessons in the moments of waiting.

We work in the many hours of music and programs with children and choir rehearsals.  (with those now, we really need more time don't we?)

In the days of waiting, we forget that God is preparing us for our Home, that...being Heaven.  God promised a Savior, and by receiving the Gift, we are promised Eternal rest.  In the waiting days of Advent, He reminds us that the Gift is worth the wait.  

The Gift of a Savior is worth the wait when we turn our hearts toward Heaven.  

How many times have we waited for something and then found that when we actually achieved or received it, we weren't really ready for it?    How many days in the wait, after getting a gift, we had more appreciation than we could ever imagine?  

So let's think about how our long awaited days will intensify the enjoyment of Heaven, the long anticipated days of waiting as a parent, makes arrivals so much more joyous.

When we see the baby's face, all the pain and heartache of waiting and delivery is erased.  We literally gaze at the face of a miracle.  When we see the Face of Eternity, we are face to face with the miracle of Christmas, of Heaven. 

The days of waiting soon disappear when we are looking full on to His Holiness.  I'm not sure that I'm ready for that....are you? (Is anyone teary at this moment, to only imagine what Heaven will be like right now?)

God prepares us for our Ultimate Gift, which is Jesus.  And the worship of the Christ child gives us a glimpse of Heaven.  And when God comes near to us, we see the Promise, the Gift.  And it's worth waiting for.  The Ultimate Gift is Jesus.  Our ultimate Giver is God.  Our Eternal home is Heaven.

In the days of advent, God breathes new life into our stagnant corners, hearts, souls to receive the breathe of Heaven.  The breathe of the Holy.  Who of you, with all of the plans of Christmas right now could use a breathe of fresh air?  Of rest?  Of a deep sigh, to be all by yourself with eyes locked on Holiness?  (I see you wildy waving your hands!)

So now, let's slow our pace a  bit so that we can really enjoy the time we spend at the manager.  So that we can see the gift in the waiting, in the preparing.  To soak up the sounds, the smells, the music of Heaven coming near and God dwelling among us.  Let us turn our hearts to the Holy, so we don't miss the preparation for the Promise.  So we don't miss a moment of holiness.

God is preparing us for our Home. The real meaning of these advent days of Christmas prepares and shows us the Christ child, the King and Savior of the world.  What child is this... really?  

May our posture before Christ be one of worship, of the One who "bleeds through, distinctly clear, deeply, intimately, profoundly, drawing our hearts toward home." ~ Cindee Snider Re.

May the light of the Christ child, His simple, pure, holy, meek and unassuming Presence prepare us for our Heavenly home.  

Oh may I linger and stagger in these waiting days. ~ my heart.

Dear God, prepare us in these busy days.  May we not go through the motions of Christmas so that we miss you in the waiting days.  Prepare our hearts to see you in our preparations.  Give us patience, endurance to wait in faith for our promised Home.  May we adore you at the manger to turn our hearts towards your Son Jesus who was and is and will be our Ultimate Gift to enjoy one day.  May we be silent in these nights of worship and let the stillness of your Spirit calm ours to truly see you as Emmanuel.  Our help, our Comfort, our Promise, our Gift in the waiting.  May we be mindful of the moments we too often miss. The moments when heaven pierces earth and we catch a glimpse of Your holiness, the aroma of eternity, the sound of Your still, small Voice, gently, tenderly leading us home. Amen and amen.

Oh come let us adore Him...

Let God Hijack your Advent

There's a personal way that I can experience God when I open the Bible. On so many days, God hijacks my reading to show me a deeper truth about Himself.

I like it when I can walk right into an Old Testament story find myself on those pages and align my heart to hear what God is saying. I find it interesting in reading about the people of Israel , their days were somewhat hijacked too. I call those desert or desperate days but really we could call them Advent days. Those 40 years spent in the desert were days of preparation. They waited and traveled a long way before they arrived at the Promise Land.

In these Advent days, we are preparing too. "Let Heaven and nature sing, let Heaven and nature sing, Let Heaven and nature sing...Rejoice! We are preparing to rejoice about the birth of our Savior.

But why do we need to prepare to rejoice about Jesus?

I'm so glad you asked.

In our preparing, in our waiting, we have time to reflect and rest in who God is what He has done for us. From the virgin birth, to the flat-out crazy circumstances of Jesus being born in a stable, to three starry-eyed seekers of a really bright star for a very long, long journey just to give a baby boy some gifts, well...suffice it to say, the birth story of Jesus is full of miracles.

I know what you are thinking. You've heard the story, you've heard the miracles. There's nothing new in the nativity story that you haven't read or heard in kids church. There's nothing new on those pages.

Or is there? I'm so glad you asked.

Let's think about what the name Emmanuel means. Now think about yesterday when you might have said "I feel so alone in this". Why is it we can sing that God is with us but then when tomorrow's crisis or fear hits us, the feeling of God being with us is the first thing we forget?

When fear hits in these advent days, why do we think we are out in the "desert" to fend for ourselves?

We need to remember who God is and whose we are everyday.

…God is with us!

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Emmanuel"—which means, "God with us." Matthew 1:21-23
Just like the days of the desert, in the town of Bethlehem, and like Mary and Joseph, we also need to know that God is with us, everyday, to help us, to strengthen us, to deliver us, to show his mercy to us. Emmanuel is with us like the great I AM was with the Israelites in the desert. And God hasn’t changed since!

God is with you…God was with you…God will be with you!

God, the great I AM, the LORD is with us. No matter where we travel, no matter where we have been, no matter where we are headed. No matter if we are breathing our last breath or whatever fear hits us today.

God is with us. We can’t be separated from God. The God of all comfort, comes alongside of us in our Advent days and doesn't leave us when Christmas is over.

Now I don't know about you but that causes me to rejoice. One of the big tools that the enemy loves to use against us is that we can be separated from the love of God, that we are the only one going through whatever temptations, hiccups, or hangups.

Don't buy into that lie.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35, 37-39

So if Jesus is with us everyday, then why can't we feel Him?

I'm glad you asked...

Sin separates us from God, so what's in your life that keeps you from being close to God? Maybe God needs to hijack your busy, flurry-filled Advent days to remind you that He is still with you. Maybe you need a reminder that you have a God who cares about every little detail that is going on with your life right now. Maybe you need to remember that He has never left you and is waiting for you to slow down a little and rest during these days of preparation.

Maybe you need God to hijack your reading plan so He can show some amazing things, say.... a few miracles today.

I can't wait to know

The other day my first born found out the gender of her soon-to-be second born child.

Ahhhh...there was a sigh of relief once we all felt the confirmation that baby number two was fine, healthy and of course what gender it was.

It was hard to wait.  In my days of my having two babies we didn't know what we were giving birth to.  We didn't care the gender.  We just wanted to make sure that all was well and good.

With modern technology advancing, it quickens our desires for information of all kinds so we can prepare ourselves for every life scenario that comes our way.

And what God has been teaching me these days of waiting, is either just what I need to know or more truth in what I thought I already knew.  Again and again.

I'm good with second-time-around lessons.  That means there are some greater things to discover about whatever it is, and another chance to learn.  It means a deeper meaning or for a greater purpose.

It means growing in the waiting.

Learning and growing more is a process, a waiting process.  Learning and leaning more is a waiting process, a weighty process.  Growing takes a waiting, growing has a purpose.

Something we all need to learn more is awe.

I said it this summer to my good friend and mentor...the one thing I was waiting for these days.  "We need to reclaim the awe of God."

Awe of God.

That is something modern technology won't bring, but a second look at the Eternal will.  Again and again.

The awe-inspiring knowledge of God.  Being in awe of His Majesty.  

We have lost the awe of God.  So...consider God in these days of waiting, His waiting on us to take a second look in these Advent days...

...maybe we will see God for the first time
...maybe we will see God in our shopping
...maybe we will see God in our fears
...maybe we will see God in our relationships
...maybe we will give more godly responses to the rude that spews
...maybe we will be more generous with our gifts
...maybe we will decorate the halls of our hearts with less, so to make room for more
...maybe just maybe....
...we will notice Emmanuel during our waiting

In the waiting days of Advent, don't we still have the same heart desires to see more God in our everyday lives?  In the waiting days of today, don't we long to experience God in more ways?

In the waiting, preparing...don't we want to reclaim the God-awe we feel we have lost due to the busyness of Christmas?

Can you feel Him tapping gently on your shoulder saying, gently whispering, "...pssst...I'm over here at the stable waiting for you to worship Me with that childlike awe you had all those years ago?

In the waiting....we prepare.  In the waiting, a tiny helpless baby lays waiting.  In the waiting that helpless little baby King, prepares us to wait with holy anticipation.

Waiting for the awe of a newborn's arrival, waiting for the anew of Jesus, waiting for heavenly awe to hit our hearts.

Waiting for Holy Awe anew.  I for one am one who is.  I can't wait to learn it again and again.

My prayer:  Dear God, help us to recover the awe in Christmas, the days of Christmas preparations,  but in our hearts.  Set our spirits to see your holy awe...and set our souls afire with the passion and compassion you long to give us in these days of Advent.  We wait for you.

Hope never gives up!

Photo Credit:  Children's Cup

God remembered us when we were down, His love never quits.  Psalm 136:23 (MSG)

As I looked down at her leathery hands, I silently prayed for them.  Her strong palms gripped the wooden paddle and agitated the water in preparation for the day's meal.  She made it look so easy as if any willing heart could do the same.  

As I watched her silently make the boiling brew behave and I said another prayer for strength. As my hands started to cramp I spoke over her weary hands that gripped hard.  I was thankful that her hope hadn't given up, and that for today she had enough love to start yet another meal for the countless sea of hungry faces.    

I looked down at her calloused feet which spilled over the worn souls of her shoes.  I saw the roughed up places on her heels and her toes were spilling over the front.  A little bit of her heart was showing, obvious she had walked a mile or two in that pair.  I said another little prayer for her feet.

She is one of many who speak hope into the lives of children who come looking for another scoop of food at the Children's Cup CarePoints.

One of the strongest statements of faith I saw in Africa were from the most silent women I met.  Because of the hope from their hearts and the service of their hands, I will never be able to look at cooking the same.  They are the backbone to the feeding program for Children's Cup.  They work long hours, putting their heart and soul into every meal and give the best customer service known to children.

Their nurturing hearts stand in the gap for the hungry, serving the worn, the weary, the weak, the orphaned.  No one is turned away from a bowl of hope.  Their dedication spans the many traveled dirt roads that feed the hungry, speaking literal life to the children.  

If I had some Olympic gold medals, I would have needed a load of them.  I wouldn't award them for their skill, not for their culinary delights, but for their stamina, courage and strength to stand in the face of adversity to speak hope into so many. They volunteer for this duty to bring hot meals to each and every tummy.

What makes a granny or momma spend hours upon hours working to make bowls and bowls of hot fortified rice for so many?

It's not the pay, or the benefits package.  Not for any reason than to show the true nurturing and tender care of our Savior.  They are the face of Christ, and with each bowl they show the Love our Father has for each of us.

These mothers roll up their sleeves and serve the only hope and Love they know.

The CarePoint's strong spirit is dependent on "Maghees" (Mah-Gays) who willingly serve hot meals without the modern convenience of a microwave or oven. The blisters on my hands are finally fading from the hot liquids that splashed on them while helping.  I will never forget the heavy cauldron lids, nor their eagerness to pluck chicken feathers and gut two dozen hens.

Day after day I watched them, served alongside them, and saw the hope they cling to every day. There was a day when a group of cooks simply sang a chorus that boosted my faith more than any sermon.  

I took notes.  

"Never give up....Never give up....Never give up!"....a simple chorus that still sings in my soul.

Hope doesn't give up!  Never give up on the hope we have in Christ.  

I thought about the times I have wanted to give up and walk.  And yet....they sing....Never give up.  This band of hope spoke encouragement to me with their chorus of praise about our Faithful God.

Don't give up!  Hope hasn't and won't give up on you.  Even when you are ready to give up on yourself.  Even at your lowest, Love and Hope haven't and won't give up on you.

Hope's name is Jesus and His name is something to serve as well as cling to.  So always remember to look to the Lord when you want to give up.  Let God lift your head to see the hope He has for you, no matter how worn and weary you feel.   

Get involved with Children's Cup who serve hope with every  bowl.

The cure for Ward 8

On our recent trip to Swaziland, several steps into Ward 8 of the government hospital, I knew my heart would be troubled.  

Little did our hosts know how familiar I was with this picture of pacing, praying, and waiting at my husband's hospital bedside.  He has a past filled with much pain and surgeries.

So I understand that it's necessary and needed to help bring a cure or fix a problem.  

We were there to visit one of the Children's Cup orphans who had a minor procedure done.  Allison had gone in for what would be considered an outpatient procedure in an American hospital.  So I didn't think was going to be a huge deal, until I was a few steps in.  We walked through the first hallway and the smell of death greeted us. The aroma of fish filled the hallways. 

At least there was a hot meal being served.  

I looked up to pray one of my arrow prayers..."Dear God, help my heart to handle what's next." As I looked up, I noticed some ceiling tiles that were missing and some that were in need of repair.  The paint along the walls were worn.  There were people needing medical attention lining another hallway, sitting on the cold cement floor.  Waiting.  

People looking a cure.

I thought to myself, "How could a place that offers healing, need so much repair?"  My heart was certainly troubled.  My emotions were assaulted with all kinds of thoughts and silent questions,  while the smell of death was overwhelming my lungs.  I looked at other team members, they were feeling the weight of Ward 8 also.  

We waited to get permission to see our young friend.

Our hosts went before us and found out that Allison had been moved to the ladies ward because the beds in the children's wing were too small.  She was forced to be an adult once again at the young age of 10.    

One of the striking things about children in Africa, is the fact that because of the high HIV death rate, kids have to grow up fast.  Kids take care of siblings and themselves, many times without adult supervision, leaving them as double orphans.  Alone in a adult world.  Kids don't have much of a chance to be just children.

A generation of parents is missing in Swaziland, Africa.  

While we were waiting outside the children's wing, it was decided that we would go ahead the visit the children in Ward 8 and try to cheer them with some sweet treats.   We walked into three crowded rooms with small children laying weak and fragile.  

Beside each bed, sat sadness.  I saw things that only my heart would understand.   I sensed desperate cries and my eyes brimmed with tears for the broken and the frail.   God immediately comforted me with this verse...  

Psalm. 147:3  "God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I thought of all the times I had sat by a hospital bed, waiting for my loved one's pain to disappear.  Those days seem endless.  

...Filled with questions...
...fears and tears....
...confusion and loneliness...
...even helplessness...
...searching for God in the middle of our crisis...

...and desperate to hope.  

My heart was in pieces, as I looked into the pain-laden eyes of those who were there holding those little hands in Ward 8, I wanted to wave my magic wand for each and every child to receive the cure needed.  

Our team moved from bed to bed praying...some silently and some not, but all praying for health and hope to be restored.  

Every bed moved my heart more.

We moved to the women's ward and found Allison peacefully sleeping.  "How does sweet sleep come here?"  There was a scurry of activity from a nurse attending to the other 30 patients.  It was so crowded, open, bare and stark.  

Our host gently touched Allison's still body.  As she woke up, she was calm, but not scared. She wasn't crying or begging to eat ice cream.  She only smiled.  The brightest smile that seemed to put a little salve on my broken heart.  Her smile seemed to erase the desperation I just saw from Ward 8.  

God used her smile to remedy my heart.

At least there was some place to go to for people to get some help. 

I found out later by one of the medical missionaries that a patient only went to this barren place to die.  That's when I lost it...when I was alone that day.  So many have gone in and not come out.  

That's when God reached down and reminded me that these kids aren't alone.  He is the ultimate Healer, in her smile God reassured me of Psalm 91:11  "For He will command his angels concerning you and guard you in all your ways."

I was able to leave Allison, knowing she was in God's tender care.  (She is doing great today and is healing nicely).

Jesus is our cure.  Jesus cures what maligns and invades our bodies.  Jesus comforts our desperate hearts.  What the enemy uses to abuse us physically is cured by the work of Jesus. The gospel changes everything and it's simply bigger than a Band-Aid covering our hurts, scrapes, wounds and bruised spirits.  

God's cure mends what's broken in our lives.   He binds His cure in His perfect love. What a comfort to know that we have a God who cares, loves and intervenes.  

Children's Cup is helping with the cure, not just with medical needs but with the gospel that silences the desperate cries for love and hope.  Can you help be the cure for hurting hearts in Africa?  Send help today.  

"Why do I hurt?"

Photo credit:  Cindee Snider Re

Philippians 3:13-14  "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

"Why do I hurt?"

Who hasn't asked that question?  Imagine hearing this on a daily basis?  A nurse or a doctor would have to condition their heart to hear that from many different sources of pain from so many different medical circumstances they often deal with.

Dealing with hurt is just what they do.  It's their calling, yes, it's where their emotions must travel daily on a case by case need.

Dealing with hurt is just what we do.  But why does God allow pain, hurts, heartaches?

I don't know the answer to that except to tell you that in the pain, hurts, and heartaches God teaches us things that wouldn't be learned otherwise.

At least that is my take on this.  Paul's perspective was the same.  According to the book of Philippians he talked about pain, hurts and weaknesses a lot.

Philippians includes Paul's thoughts and responses to these topics:
...advancing the gospel
...imitating Christ's humility
...no confidence in the flesh
...pressing on towards the goal
...encouragements from the field

He prayed for his "thorn" or weakness to be removed several times, but still in those hard times, those dark days loaded with pain, hurts and heartaches, for his own good, God didn't remove it.

So it goes with us.  God allows pain, hurt, and heartache to be a part of our days on earth to show more of His heart.  It's in those times that we need Him most that He shows us that He is enough.

And yet discovering this truth....we continue to ask..."why?"  Why us, why them, why my spouse, why my child?

Why?

Danielle asked God the same why question day after day.  Her little children, HIV positive, have to take medicine as part of their daily routine.  Several of them are very young and as they swallow their daily medications they have also swallowed the pain that has gotten them to this place in their lives.  Their reality is that they were forgotten, outcast and there was no one to care for them.   At young ages, they have so many questions that can't be answered. Then God brought them Danielle, who is the mother for the Children's Cup I Am Not Forgotten Home for Orphans in Swaziland, Africa.

She dared to ask God why her?  Why them?  Why?

God gave Danielle the reason she needed to give His hope to carry on.

How reassuring for this young mom, who is HIV positive herself, to catch hold of God's vision of being the adoptive mother for 10 young children who have been orphaned and forgotten by their own biological parents.  Can you imagine how many "why God" questions she herself must have, plus the "why" questions that her now dependent children must have?

Think about the thoughts that must float through a forgotten child's heart.  Now think about it in the silence of life, how those unloving thoughts must have started many sore places, a past they are trying to forget.  There has to be some emotional scars that remain.

Why God would allow a child to feel such emotional pain and hardship at such young ages?  Where is God in the middle of their forgotten and hurt-filled lives?

God gives Danielle a purpose, and a hope and a love of that only our Savior can give.  God hasn't forgotten her nor these hurting children with a pain-filled past.  The day Jesus shows her the purpose in dealing with their pain, she is very reassured in her "why God" questions.

"I am their Moses", was what God spoke to her heart.  Understanding the purpose of pain and heartache somehow helps us deal with the daily suffering that He has called us to.

It helps.  It helps Danielle and gives her the real hope to carry on day after day.  And since that day, she told me that knowing that she is leading them to Jesus is what her role is.  In a very seemingly forgotten generation, she places love and hope right in the middle of their pain.  

She is advancing the gospel
...imitating Christ's humility
...with no confidence in the flesh
...pressing on towards the goal
...giving encouragements from the field

With the help of Children's Cup, Danielle is loving and leading, she is caring, she is overcoming, she is needing God in her own weakness, she is learning Christ in her suffering, leaning on Christ in those why questions loaded with hurt and pain, plus making a difference in young lives in the middle of their suffering.  Jesus is enough to all the whys.

Jesus is enough in our pain.

For them, for us, and for today, the "why do I hurt?" questions can rest.  Jesus is enough for our pain and we wouldn't know that part of Christ until we experienced the sufferings of today and let Him show us that He is.

To know more about helping the hurting hearts and the work of Children's Cup, please click here.