Confession..I have failed you. I have failed myself. I haven't wanted to write this to you. I couldn't type the words. By doing so I have to admit you that I am weak. That I have failed, that I am not strong. This is painful to admit. I have a problem. This is serious.
I have succumbed to the allure of food...again. That took a lot for me to tell you this. In my effort to be honest with you, I have to type this.
I never claimed to have all the answers, I never claimed to be perfect. So please don't judge me. I need help and I am desperate. You maybe thinking that I am making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe I am. I have come to the end of my tolerance of how I feel, how I look, how I am. Please know this, I didn't wake up yesterday and just chunk all my hard work to the corner, like I would a dirty pair of jeans. This failure of mine has been in the works for a while. I haven't exercised consistently. I have allowed other things to get in the way, I have been stressed, I have tasted the tempting foods and thought I could handle myself around them. Guess what?? I can't. It's been too hot to exercise, that is reason enough and like you, I can easily talk myself out of it. My bad choices have caused my own failure. I have made mistakes.
This is a mess of my own making. I have let some old eating habits creep back in. And because of my bad choices, I now suffer the consequences. I have to accept the responsibility. I must change. I am trusting you that you will offer me some grace and understanding. This is where my healing begins.
Okay...you know...now what? I am getting past my past, my mess ups. I have refocused on the goal, and I am being intentional about every last bite that I take. I will make time for exercise, no matter how hot it is. I will be intentional about saying "no" once again. I am inspired by my friend Megan who just had a baby 3 months ago and wants to get her body back. She has started running with a baby. Who does that? I can't even think about running, with a baby stroller or not. I have a close friend who gives nothing but grace-filled encouragement to me. I hope they hold me accountable for my failures. I need them to be that for me.
I know what to change. I know what change can do. It offers results. I know what hard work can do. It benefits in the positive. I choose change, I choose grace. I can and will change. I will learn from my failures. My epic fail will propel me forward. I need God's grace. I need His forgiveness, I need your forgiveness.
How have you bounced back from a failure?