That's small potatoes

Photo Credit:  Lizard

Fear sometimes pushes me to failure or disappointment.  In this 131 lb-weight-loss journey, I have a new challenge.  I have to keep my "what if" doubts and fears at arm's length, and rely on my God infused-strong, self-controlled commitment close by.    

When doubt pushes it's way into my heart, the weak and tender places, it can be crushed by fear from my oh so many questions:

What if I allow myself one bite too many?
What if I keep eating chocolate cake and can't stop?
What if I start loving food more than I love God again?
What if I can't trust myself around food ever?  
What if I can't stay at my goal weight?
What if I fail you in this weight loss expectation thing?
What if my personal failures cause you to fail too?
What if I stop obeying God in the area of making healthy choices?

Man...I didn't know that this losing weight gig could be so complicated!

At this point...I have to turn my Titantic-sized-load of worry into many points of resistance, using the negatives to become God's greatest opportunities.  These looming giant-sized questions have no place in my thinking if I am to continue in right oobedience of a healthy lifestyle.  I must consistently press on towards the goal of making healthy choices each and every day, no matter what.  The hard work of resistance grinds on.

The tension of "what if's" has to continue to push me through to obedience.

So here's a new question:

Does resistance asks all the wrong questions?  And the even bigger shiny question is...  

What’s blocking my courage to look at the temptation in the face and grabbing it by the throat and showing it's who's boss?  

Food holds no power over me anymore.  But the fear of going back to my heaviest does.

Is that what you need today?  A little more courage to look at your giant temptation?  To look at your fears, to kick your fears in the gut and say...

Look...if God is for me, what's to stop me from using resistance to take the next step of courage?

Resistance keeps knocking repeat on the fear button. Ahem.....

So...this is my call out to the enemy known as failure!  Scootch over you looming giants disguised as doubt and weakness that ebb and flow through my thinking, those that call loudly for dominion in my heart!  

Don't let fear's voice roar to a loud chorus within your soul to keep you from obeying what God is calling you to do.  Let your fear be the catalyst to move you to action to obey Him.

My disobedience matters to God.  And my knowing the difference between the pros and cons of consequences matters to me.  Staying healthy matters to God, and therefore it matters to me too.  It's time to put this fear to rest.

So the next time fear knocks hard with questions and asks:

Do I have what it takes?  ...Answer back with ..."no, but God does".

Does behaving myself around food matter?  "Yes".  It matters.  Because food won't behave for you.  Only God can give you the strength to walk away from the dinner table.  

Is God's strength enough to fight off the biggest piece of Wall-O-China chocolate cake?   

....Yes, that's small potatoes to Him.  

If we are living in total dependence on His How's, we won't have to succumb to our questions and food-fears.  

We can put fear to death, we can put fear to rest, we can bury our fears in His chest.  We can, because God can handle them all.  And God can handle your questions too.  He helps us figure the hows, the whats, the whens along the way of resistance.

So back to that word, how can resistance be a positive?  It helps us face the imperfect solutions by embracing God's perfection.  Once we submit our wills to obey His perfect Authority, there really is no resistance now is there?

Now do something today that makes you laugh at fear and makes you laugh hard.  Stepping into your dreams isn't always meant for the weekends.  

How do you handle temptations? 

Jumping Over The Line

Jumping over the line

Recently, I made a lifestyle decision.  More about what decision it was in a later post.  One of the exercises my coach told me to do was to write down some ideas of what I wanted to accomplish.  In other words, she wanted me to write some goals.  "No problem" I said...as I began to jot down some thoughts about the direction in which I was headed in the next few months.  I can surely write that....I had been down this road before and had done that several times.

I wrote them down but I didn't realize that I was setting myself up for failure...again.  I started with....  

I want to....

I hope to accomplish....

I will attempt to....

After I compiled my "want-to" list, I sent them to my coach friend.  She complimented me for high ideals and willingness to look forward but said "now change them to say 'I will' and 'I can'.  I thought...."how could I do that when I hadn't actually performed such tasks yet?"  

I dutifully changed the words and sent them back.  And that's when I began to smell it.      

Something snapped when I typed the words "will" in place of "want".  My determination was empowered.  My faith in my God-given abilities was bolstered.  My drive was deepened to visual positive changes.  I could see my specific dreams on a piece of paper and I saw success.  I could smell victory!  I visualized each one becoming a reality.  I WILL and I CAN, with God's help!!  

My heart-felt desires transformed to defined goals in mind.  With the exchange of a just a few words, I felt confident and encouraged to attain anything the sentences spoke.  The change in two words brought me to the line of commitment, and I forced myself to jump across it.  It was a wonderful feeling!

Hope was built in my heart with just a few positive and caring words from a friend.  She knew it would make such a difference and saw my potential.  The gap between where I saw myself and where I needed to be didn't seem so overwhelming.  Now this doesn't make it easy, it just makes in doable.  My dedication and commitment will definitely be put to the test.  Sometimes, God has you re-learn a hard life lesson just because His will is to teach you more.  My decision might not seem like much right now...but my "can and will" attitude makes all the difference in my world.  

In this will-vs.-want battle I will lay down my wants 

to willingly follow His plan.  

How about yours?  What goal have you achieved that meant a lot to you?   

I Need Grace

Confession..I have failed you.  I have failed myself.  I haven't wanted to write this to you.  I couldn't type the words.  By doing so I have to admit you that I am weak.  That I have failed, that I am not strong.  This is painful to admit.  I have a problem.  This is serious. 


I have succumbed to the allure of food...again.  That took a lot for me to tell you this.  In my effort to be honest with you, I have to type this.  


I never claimed to have all the answers, I never claimed to be perfect.  So please don't judge me.  I need help and I am desperate.  You maybe thinking that I am making a big deal out of nothing.  Maybe I am.  I have come to the end of my tolerance of how I feel, how I look, how I am.  Please know this, I didn't wake up yesterday and just chunk all my hard work to the corner, like I would a dirty pair of jeans.  This failure of mine has been in the works for a while.  I haven't exercised consistently.  I have allowed other things to get in the way, I have been stressed, I have tasted the tempting foods and thought I could handle myself around them.  Guess what??  I can't.  It's been too hot to exercise, that is reason enough and like you, I can easily talk myself out of it.  My bad choices have caused my own failure.  I have made mistakes.   


This is a mess of my own making.  I have let some old eating habits creep back in.  And because of my bad choices, I now suffer the consequences. I have to accept the responsibility.  I must change.  I am trusting you that you will offer me some grace and understanding.  This is where my healing begins.  


Okay...you know...now what?  I am getting past my past, my mess ups.  I have refocused on the goal, and I am being intentional about every last bite that I take.  I will make time for exercise, no matter how hot it is.  I will be intentional about saying "no" once again.  I am inspired by my friend Megan who just had a baby 3 months ago and wants to get her body back.  She has started running with a baby.  Who does that?   I can't even think about running, with a baby stroller or not.  I have a close friend who gives nothing but grace-filled encouragement to me.  I hope they hold me accountable for my failures.  I need them to be that for me.  


I know what to change.  I know what change can do.  It offers results.  I know what hard work can do.  It benefits in the positive.  I choose change, I choose grace.  I can and will change.  I will learn from my failures.  My epic fail will propel me forward.  I need God's grace.  I need His forgiveness, I need your forgiveness.


How have you bounced back from a failure?