My soul ached with an emptiness I couldn't describe.

The ladies hurried in and started removing items one by one. The lights were dim in the room that brought a quiet solitude. Everyone was reverently sitting and watching. One by one the candles disappeared, the flowers were next, then the cross that was centered on the veiled stone altar. In only a few minutes, nothing was left but the stark reality of masonry. As the decorations were being stripped from their normal resting place, it was in that moment I realized I needed Jesus.

I grew up in a Christian home. In fact, my parents were Christians and did their best to raise me in the church. Every time the church doors were open, we were there. Not on the front row but our family definitely had a pew that was ours. I grew up knowing the stories and the wonders of Jesus and that he died for the sins of the world. I knew that. I had been to Sunday School and had heard many sermons on that subject. Yes, I was a Christian. So I thought. Once married I went with my husband to church membership classes. I knew our church religious practices very well.

After we had kids, I also knew the importance of training them up in the way they should go. It was important to me to have a Christian home, just like I was raised in. Little did I know, though, that I was running in the opposite direction, away from God. It looked like I had it all together and knew all the right answers, but that was not the case. In reality, I didn't have a personal relationship with Christ. I only knew of Him. I had studied Him and acknowledged His existence, but there was a huge chasm of difference between my head and my heart.

My soul ached with an emptiness I couldn't describe. I sat alone in the cold, dark reality of my solitude.  

In that quiet and holy moment, it seems that I was the only one in the pew. God bent down and touched my soul in a way that I knew I needed a Savior. Heaven opened up and grace came down.  I suddenly felt God chip away at that hardened surface as it if were a block of ice readied for a masterpiece. 

Whispers to my heart..."I sent my Son for you, He died for you. That's how much I love you. And yes, even if you were the only one on this entire planet. I did that ....just for you." 

There were no trumpets blaring, no special lyrics, no confetti, party horns, no balloons, no compelling preacher, just Jesus bending down. 

It was if my eyes were opened as they filled with tears. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I needed to change.  I confessed my wrong ways, bad habits and behaviors. As I was praying, I accepted Jesus' love and forgiveness in my heart. After that, I was different.

My experience was a turning point in my walk faith. I came away from that service different and filled with love and joy. I had made the decision to let Jesus be my Lord and Savior. Now if I die before I wake, I know that I will be at the feet of Jesus. 

I am that sure. 

I turned away and I removed all things that were getting in the way of me living a life of faith. Those bad habits stopped. I filled my mind and heart with the things of God. I now live to please God instead of myself desires.  That was 25 years ago and I can remember it was like yesterday. I thought I was a Christian, but I really wasn't. I was only riding on the shirt tales of my parent's faith. 

Find out for yourself what you believe and why. Right now, ask yourself, if you died tonight, do you know without a shadow of a doubt....that you would see Jesus? If not, stop reading right now, and ask Jesus into your heart. It's that important. 

Ephesians 2:8 - 9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; not by works, so that no one can boast."

Admit you need forgiveness.

Confess the things you know are wrong.

Believe Jesus died on the cross for your sins.

Receive His all encompassing forgiveness.

God's grace is a gift. You can't earn it nor can you get it by osmosis. Even if you have been in church all your life, and think you are a good person, you have to actively accept Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins. Your guilt has been taken care of...because of His Love for you. Yes you ....as if you were the only one on the face of the planet. This is grace, this is love, this is forgiveness, Jesus is the only way to God. He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. No one gets to the Father except through Jesus.

You have to choose to accept Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins. The Gospel changes everything.   It's grace, it's love, it's forgiveness, and grace changes lives. Jesus bridges the gaps between heads and hearts, sins and righteousness, life and death. 

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Don't let another Easter pass without experiencing the cross and receiving love and forgiveness that God has for you.

Out of the ordinary comes the extraordinary

Photo credit:  Aubree Holsapple
Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.  ~ C.S. Lewis

First of all, this photo is awesome!  And big thanks to Aubree for sharing, who graciously allowed me to use this in my post today.  

What a great glimpse of God...what you don't see it?  I guess I'm a freak or something.  Just take a look at this tree.  And now again.

A little known fact about me is that at one point in my life, I worked in a nursery and greenhouse for a season or two (no pun intended.)  I even took some college classes and know the Latin name for a Pin Oak Tree.  That's information you lose if you don't use it, just like those three years of Spanish I took in high school.  

If you don't use Latin, you lose Latin.  Sad really...it's so hard to learn and I never really figured out the knack to it, except hours and hours of memorization.  

I do know some conversational Spanish and know how to ask where the bano is.  Some Latin has that stuck in the insides of my brain too.  And...I also know how to pick out a great photo on Instagram when I see it.  

So how do I see God in this?  

He loves to reveal Himself in our lives.  He captures His character so creatively....

It's one of the oh so lovely characteristics about our Lord.  He doesn't have to show us who He is, but He loves to lovingly and most creatively reveal His character in the things He's made.

Through His creation, He loves to reveal His character.

Don't miss this....this is brilliant.

What better to reflect His beauty than the things, the living, the breathing, the beauties He's created?  

What...all this pretty talk really isn't resonating with you?

What draws me into this wonderful captured glimpse of beauty in this tree is in the eye of the beholder.  Aubree really captured it's beauty from a great perspective didn't she?  

Look at the tree's character that is captured in her Kodak moment.  See..this tree has..

stature

strength

height or maturity in tree years

wide span of branches at the top

high reach to the heavens

shelter for the lower plants

healing in it's scars

Yes, healing.

The wonder of this photo is that it whispers that we have a very creative God who takes the time to dot the landscape with His thumbprints of beauty.

And I haven't even started with the life this tree speaks of...which is the point of this post.

There's healing in this tree.  I can see how it's trunk reflects growth and adversity.  See it's rough texture, it's uneven state of the bark, how it looks all rugged and strong?  This tree has stood the test of time's rough natural slap in the gut.

And just like that in the slaps of this tree's life, it brings healing.

Life can slap us in the gut like this tree has been shaped.  And what we see is an ugly exterior, sticky texture that feels rough to the touch and something we want to cut down and burn.

I see how this tree survived the many winds and storms of adversity and has been strengthened.  The anchor root structure that twists and wreaks a hot mess havoc on the underneath side of the earth.  On the hidden side of adversity, growth has happened too.  And there's life, vibrant life, still pulsating through this tree's sappy core.

There's life in the rough, tough, tested texture.  There's life.

Perhaps you see it too.  I see healing in the rough, tough, tested texture in these days we call life.  And there's growth on the underneath side of our souls.  The deep parts, the parts that are hidden and sometimes are laying dormant.

The winds of change and adversity, the hard-whipping-our-skirts winds, the gale forces that ruin a great hair day type of winds, the gusts that slap our guts until they wrench, those winds are the ones that feel like they are going to break us in half, even snap our hearts in two.  

The winds and storms that press hard and we honestly don't know how we can lean any further into them. Those that continuously press change and growth into our lives.

God's gentle breezy growth breathes life into us, our hearts and causes us to pause and reach to the Heavens to praise our Creative Creator who in His new mercy and grace gives us His portion daily to praise Him.  And helps us lean into and press further into His healing and these changes.

There's life again in something ordinary.  There's life to celebrate and grow and deepen.  And all the earth, our hearts, our souls cry out in a great earthy sigh.  We breathe, we heal, we take a step towards His fullness and wholeness.  And we cling to our roots, and we anchor deep. 

How dreamy...to experience God in such a personal way.  

Looks like my roots are emerging a little.

 

Waiting for an update?

You will have to wait a few more days.  This is a look at change a little bit along the way...  

Before I give you the great reveal with the whole new me, I must remind you from where I came from and show you how...

First I  want to stop and praise my Savior who has made this all possible.  I truly couldn't have lost one ounce without Jesus coming into changing my heart of stone and exchanged it for His heart of purity in the area of food.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36: 26 

This journey of losing weight and God's transformation in my soul has been life changing.

So let's give God the glory due here...

It's almost party time people...lift your voices, your hands, and put your feet together in celebration.

If you need a little healthy hope today...let me dish some up for you.  You can change too.  Just start.  

Can you invite change into your heart?  Sure you can...change is just a prayer away.  I talk about change and the heart a lot here but that is where God likes to work His purity plan.  

Don't give up because if you want change God will empower you to make the pure changes that He desires. AND, don't be discouraged when you don't see change immediately. This is a hard process, it takes God's timing and endurance to win this.

Here's what you need to know...the real win is your obedience to God in the area of purity.

God's changes are worth the hard journey it takes to get you there.  

God wants you to continue to seek change because He is waiting for the perfect time where He gets all the praise.

And you know what....we can stand back and say...."WOW!  God did that...."

So let's give God the glory here....

WOW! God did that, God is doing that...

Are you throwing confetti yet?

Just start.

Five Minute Friday - Hope

This week has a theme...and it's hope.  I am thankful that hope anchors, tethers, and connects our souls to God's.  That's not just any foundation but One that is a firm and secure connection, where absolutely nothing can shake it, it's firm and secure.  It is a hope that is so deeply planted in trust that it's woven to God's heart.  Now that it is a viable source I can cling to.  I'll take that hope and throw my hopeful soul anchor deep.   


This week i have needed an extra measure of hope.  I had to wave my white flag of surrender to God about a situation that was way to big for me to handle.  In the wave, I realized that God was indeed waiting for me at the end of my rope, with His arms of grace.   I am leaning with God's hope... on His open, faithful and trusty arms.  Tomorrow still has it own troubles, but Hope is already there too, ready to roll up His sovereign sleeves.

Music Monday [Under Fire]

I have a secret addiction to the music of Abandon.  Yeah...I know.... since were friends...now you know.  Read the lyrics below and see why.


They try to trip us up
They try to make us doubt
Make us question what this life's about
Our minds are criminal
They try to steal the soul
This moment's pivotal who we chose to follow

(Chorus)
We are under fire but we know, we know
The truth in our hearts
We are under fire but we hold, we hold
The proof of who You are
And though we haven't seen Your face
We know that we walk by faith
We are under fire
But it only burns, burns all doubt away
All doubt away

They tell us we're all fools
That our minds are weak
How can we put our hope in someone we can't see
They come with ridicule
To say that You're a fake
But we are not alone, You endured the same

We're chasing what's real
We're chasing what's true
We know it's God
We know it's You
We know it's God
It's got to be You

Sometimes you have to shout it.  No...every time you need to shout about your faith. Always be ready to give an answer to the hope that you have found in Jesus Christ.  Whether you are aware of it or not...the world is hurting, and searching for answers.  Do you have hope?  It can only be found in Jesus.  It's real, it's true.  


Don't let the popular sway you.  Don't be drowned by doubt because your feelings tell you something different.  Be strong in your faith and continue your commitment to the gospel.  Live your faith like it is real.  Be a God chaser.  


Do you come under fire for your faith?  

Just Rest

You must read yesterday's post ...

I sometimes fight dependence on God like a 14-month-old baby boy before a much needed nap. I don’t share the all worries of my heart with God even though I know He already knows what they are and I know that He really cares about me. In my own self-reliance I am humbled in the awareness that I need Him desperately to just breathe.

I feel like if I am honest with you and with God, I am letting everyone down. But… as His strength is made perfect in my weakness I am being transparent enough to admit that I need God desperately to be me.

Maybe…

…I need to say no to another serving opportunity.

…I need say more words of grace.

…I need to let the dust settle on ideas instead of immediately pushing the launch button.

…I need to take a rest in His Word even more.

…I need to not apologize for my failures.

God, I need rest.

When I’m weary, worn out, and overwhelmed… for reasons that I can’t control or those that I can, I go to God.

God doesn’t grow weary, He doesn’t need rest. God is not the source of my problems but the answer to them. God doesn’t cause my circumstances but He gives me wisdom to journey through them. God doesn’t overwhelm but holds me up when I am.

God is not the originator of the difficult but He serves those times as reminders that I must fall back on His original plan of dependence. His passions are planted deep in my heart…. the cry of the vulnerable and the orphaned, and the message of the gospel.  They are not there to overwhelm, but to bring His perfection in me and to foster dependence.

So in my needy dependence, in my increased awareness of God, I translate this into a call to be even stronger and more courageous as I acknowledge that God is my battle cry. Sometimes I will be silent, sometimes I will blow my horn loud. My important “to-do” is my dependence on Him.

Wisdom tells me I to stay still in His lap.

Wisdom prompts my awareness of my need.

Wisdom tells me that my God never fails.

In my alone-ness, in my darkness, in my pity–parties, in my joy times, God’s presence promises His companionship, strength and courage. His completeness brings rest to my mind, my heart, my soul. And when I make my lists I know I possess the strength of His Spirit. My “nexts” are complete as long as I rely on my God.

I can relax, rest, and recover.

Each of our journeys looks different. Is yours wearing you out?  Are you worn to a frazzle?  God knows this and asks us to rest, rest in Him, and that’s awesome! 

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (My new favorite verse!)

Resting in Him is a daunting task. What is God asking of you this year or today?