Chubs club

"Dear Mr. Scale, can I be honest with you for a moment? Our together times really don't do much for me. I actually dread our appointments. And when you bring your friend Miss tape measure, well she really does a number on me."

I.hate.this. Have you ever had a conversation with your bathroom scale?

Maybe I am a tad insane, as a gold-star member of the Chubby club, but mine actually talks back. There have been so many weeks when I walked away with so many weighty disappointments. I foolishly thought the scale would give me some good news, as if my tight pants weren't enough of an indicator that I had taken in more calories than I expended for the week.

So why did I weigh faithfully? Why did I submit to it's mental abuse, when at the end of our encounters, I walked away ashamed?

My love hate relationship is probably something you won't understand. 

It's my chubby mentality. 

I have looked at these measuring tools as if they were the enemy, when as they sneer and judge me.  They torment and remind me of my failures. At one point in our long-term relationship, I actually gave one the boot in hopes to break it's lurking judgmental jeers. It's hate-laced accuracy didn't weigh me with grace or mercy. 

What I truly hate is that stole my self-worth. 

Perhaps I am tad insane.

In this journey of losing weight, I confess that I have let my measurements, both around and down, plus the tipping-the-scale-poundage define who I am. I fell into the trap of letting the scale write my attitude and darken my opinion of myself. My self-esteem rose and fell with the numbers. 

This chubs was defeated daily from an inanimate object. 

One day God asked me a question..."Why do you look at the scales view of you over My view of you?" 

That knocked me to my knees. I swallowed hard as I swallowed His hard truth. 

With tears of confession, God's healing forgiveness released the demanding dictatorship of that dumb-black-idol that only cared about my numbers. It was on that day I stopped being a hater of the tools that only marked God's beauty program through me. 

I still have regret about so much time wasted hanging on to the up-and-down numbers on the display, but this second time around I am putting less emphasis on man-made measurements..

...hanging my heart on God's measure of me.

Ps. 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 

When I put myself down, while standing on the scale, measuring my middle or looking at my reflection, I am discounting God's wonderful works. God has made all things beautiful, including me and you who might be reading this. Read the above verse again.

God's works are wonderful, there's no chopped liver mentioned here.

Do you have a love or hate relationship with the scale?

The Cat Did It!

This really did happen, but at my house
it was a turkey sandwich instead of a cat food bag.

Not sure that you have noticed but I haven't been here in a while.

I've been fighting an enemy.  I dare say maybe you have had some experience in this battle too.

I am certainly not more qualified to fight this than you, nor are you more qualified than me.

This enemy has kind of taken me by surprise, but then I am really shouldn't be taken aback by it's appearance.

I could have been prepared.  But then how do you prepare for a battle of epic proportions?

I really don't think you have noticed because I think you are fighting the same enemy too.

So in my defense I could list you a ton of excuses for why I haven't been here in a while like...

• My laptop battery died...and honestly that is more original than saying the "cat did it!"
• My heart is pulsating with truth that I am gaining when I read God's Word and I am pondering some deep thoughts about a lot of things.
• My heart wants to write but my brain-meat won't let out the words.
• We ate ham for Thanksgiving instead of turkey, so maybe I thought you wouldn't like me anymore because of that.
• My brain might have melted or been carried away by those horrible flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.   
• I don't know who I am fighting so therefore I don't know how to dress for the battle.

Honestly, the reason I haven't written in a week is I have been fighting the enemy of busyness.  And it's about to eat me alive.  Consume me...so that begs a question...um....maybe I shouldn't ask that one.

I will just blame it on the cat that I don't have.  How do you fight the enemy of busyness?

Music Monday [Empty Hands]

Tenth Avenue North 

This song was written by Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North.  Although we don't play it on The House FM, it's still a great song!  The lyrics were given to me by a dear friend and really helped me through a difficult day.  Let the words bring you hope.

I've got voices in my head and they are so strong
And I'm getting sick of this oh Lord, how long
Will I be haunted by the fear that I believe
My hands like locks on cages
Of these dreams I can't set free

But if I let these dreams die
If I lay down all my wounded pride
If I let these dreams die
Will I find that letting go lets me come alive

So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with you

These voices speak instead and what's right is wrong
And I'm giving into them, please Lord, how long
Will I be held captive by the lies that I believe
My heart's in constant chaos and it keeps me so deceived

But if I let these dreams die
If I could just lay down my dark desire
If I let these dreams die
Will I find you brought me back to life

My mind is like a building burning down
I need your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground
And my heart is just a prisoner of war
A slave to what it wants and to what I'm fighting for


Which voices you are listening too?  God's or the worlds?  The Enemy likes to dish up attractive lies that we so easily swallow.  You know Satan doesn't have any new tools in his tool belt, because the same three still work...he steals..he kills...he destroys.  What does God require of us?  Full surrender with empty hands...So that God and only God can fill us.  Seek Him...you will find Him.

One Chance, One Stone, One Thud

The story of David and Goliath is a very familiar and favorite of mine. It is repeated in every Sunday School circle time in every church in America as one of the greatest examples of God's power on display. It presents such a contrast of winning vs. losing and once again proves that God is awesome.

As 1 Samuel 16-17 relates, the handsome, young David is doing his daily duties as a sheep herder attending to his flock. He comes from a large family and had just by-passed his older brothers on the fast-track to kingship when he was publicly recognized and anointed by Samuel. The Spirit of the Lord was upon him in power.

The Enemy shouts. It was a time of war for the Israelites vs. the Philistines. Goliath comes to the front lines dressed in the finest armour the Philistine army could provide, laced with pride. As if he needed all that heavy metal, seriously, he was a giant! The champion measured nine-feet tall. His intimidating size was the fundamental element that gained him recognition for his fighting prowess. Because of it, all he had to do was show up and people scattered.

Two Hills. So the Israelites were on one hill and the Philistines were on the opposite hill and the scene was set for battle. Goliath goads the Israelites with, "Choose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will be our subjects and serve us." That one battle cry incited fear and interpretation into all those who heard his booming and defeating words.

David Shows Up. Jesse, his dad, had told David to take some bread and cheese reserves to his brothers who were on the front lines. Actually, there wasn't much fighting going, just a lot of taunting from one tall, loud dude. When you are tall and loud, yes, you will get the most attention. Forty days each army had been showing up for battle, for forty days the giant spewed his threats. That day, as David was delivering supplies, he heard Goliath shouting his usual defiance. By this time the Israelites where in a "duck-and-cover" mode. There was one word to their battle cry...RUN!

David prepares. David accepts God's call to fight the towering opponent. Saul, in his attempt to help David get ready, dresses him with the finest the forces have to offer. But David already had his strategy set. As God had delivered him from every lion and bear attack in the sheep pastures, God had proved himself as the only armor this young warrior would need. He went to the nearest stream and picked up five smooth stones, along with his sling and approached immanent battle.

The valley. As the opponents face off, I can help but notice the contrast in the valley. Evil vs. Good. Old vs. Young. Tall vs. Short. Proud vs. Humble. Loud vs. Quiet. Brash vs. Meek. Harsh vs. Soft. Fury vs. Calm. Disdain vs. Favor. Fear vs. Courage. Conflict vs. Resolution. Defeat vs. Victory. Death vs. Life. In the valley, opposites clashed.

The battle belongs to the Lord. After the two "giants" exchanged their personal predictions regarding the certain outcome of the impending onslaught, David knew this was his one chance. With his eye on the target, he catapulted one stone. The smooth stone struck Goliath smack between the eyes, impacting his forehead, causing his lumbering frame to fall with a heavy thud. A cloud of dust rose from the impact of the dead. Both armies stood in amazement of what had just occurred. God's will was accomplished as David proclaimed, "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's and will give all of you into our hands." 1 Samuel 17: 47. So the whole world would know, one act of obedience shouts.

One stone changed the course of history. One action in the face of fear. One action in a valley of a man's faith journey. I can't help but be moved by David's mantra of "doing it afraid." He was confident, not in his own skills, but in his Lord. When he heard the call of the enemy, he knew in his pure heart, that God was calling him to prove to the world the power and might that he had experienced in a pasture. As David stood at the water's edge gathering his gumption, I imagine he flashed through his past hero-moments where God proved himself faithful. With that understanding and unstoppable faith, David knew how to fight this epic enemy.

Our battle cry in the face of fear, adversity, insecurity and hopelessness, should be the same as David's. Life presents plenty of good vs. evil scrimmages for God's faithful maneuvers to manifest complete in our campaigns. We must show up for battle, dressed for engagement, equipped with the Spirit's boldness, and move forward in assurance so that the whole world would know. The battle is the Lord's! Let's do this afraid! Let's do this!

God's got this battle just like He's got the last battle. What battles are you facing?