That's small potatoes

Photo Credit:  Lizard

Fear sometimes pushes me to failure or disappointment.  In this 131 lb-weight-loss journey, I have a new challenge.  I have to keep my "what if" doubts and fears at arm's length, and rely on my God infused-strong, self-controlled commitment close by.    

When doubt pushes it's way into my heart, the weak and tender places, it can be crushed by fear from my oh so many questions:

What if I allow myself one bite too many?
What if I keep eating chocolate cake and can't stop?
What if I start loving food more than I love God again?
What if I can't trust myself around food ever?  
What if I can't stay at my goal weight?
What if I fail you in this weight loss expectation thing?
What if my personal failures cause you to fail too?
What if I stop obeying God in the area of making healthy choices?

Man...I didn't know that this losing weight gig could be so complicated!

At this point...I have to turn my Titantic-sized-load of worry into many points of resistance, using the negatives to become God's greatest opportunities.  These looming giant-sized questions have no place in my thinking if I am to continue in right oobedience of a healthy lifestyle.  I must consistently press on towards the goal of making healthy choices each and every day, no matter what.  The hard work of resistance grinds on.

The tension of "what if's" has to continue to push me through to obedience.

So here's a new question:

Does resistance asks all the wrong questions?  And the even bigger shiny question is...  

What’s blocking my courage to look at the temptation in the face and grabbing it by the throat and showing it's who's boss?  

Food holds no power over me anymore.  But the fear of going back to my heaviest does.

Is that what you need today?  A little more courage to look at your giant temptation?  To look at your fears, to kick your fears in the gut and say...

Look...if God is for me, what's to stop me from using resistance to take the next step of courage?

Resistance keeps knocking repeat on the fear button. Ahem.....

So...this is my call out to the enemy known as failure!  Scootch over you looming giants disguised as doubt and weakness that ebb and flow through my thinking, those that call loudly for dominion in my heart!  

Don't let fear's voice roar to a loud chorus within your soul to keep you from obeying what God is calling you to do.  Let your fear be the catalyst to move you to action to obey Him.

My disobedience matters to God.  And my knowing the difference between the pros and cons of consequences matters to me.  Staying healthy matters to God, and therefore it matters to me too.  It's time to put this fear to rest.

So the next time fear knocks hard with questions and asks:

Do I have what it takes?  ...Answer back with ..."no, but God does".

Does behaving myself around food matter?  "Yes".  It matters.  Because food won't behave for you.  Only God can give you the strength to walk away from the dinner table.  

Is God's strength enough to fight off the biggest piece of Wall-O-China chocolate cake?   

....Yes, that's small potatoes to Him.  

If we are living in total dependence on His How's, we won't have to succumb to our questions and food-fears.  

We can put fear to death, we can put fear to rest, we can bury our fears in His chest.  We can, because God can handle them all.  And God can handle your questions too.  He helps us figure the hows, the whats, the whens along the way of resistance.

So back to that word, how can resistance be a positive?  It helps us face the imperfect solutions by embracing God's perfection.  Once we submit our wills to obey His perfect Authority, there really is no resistance now is there?

Now do something today that makes you laugh at fear and makes you laugh hard.  Stepping into your dreams isn't always meant for the weekends.  

How do you handle temptations? 

The heat of the desert

This is actually a re-post from a year ago.  It seemed appropriate for what I am going through right now.  There are times you feel the heat of a desert.  Have you ever felt that way?

From my prayer journal...
"I yearn for your answers God.  You know my prayers, my hopes, dreams and desires. I long for Your promises to be complete. Sometimes the waiting period seems unbearable.  God your plan seems cloudy or unclear. The waiting seems excruciatingly endless."

Perhaps your desire is for your broken marriage to be restored, your rebellious teenager to return home or a family member's health to be healed. Maybe you are waiting for the right person to be your soul mate.  You wait. You pray. You wait some more.

The Bible is full of people who waited. God's people wait.  Godly people like Abraham and Sarah waited.  They had to wait till they were old to have their first child. Joseph was sold as a slave by his own brothers, only to end up in prison for years before his promise of authority became a reality in his life. Why did God make them wait? Why does God allow us to wait?

There can be long periods of waiting for us all in our different situations and circumstances. And in those waiting times our faith is put to the test. I know I get impatient and sometimes doubt. However, I am learning, that in the waiting, there is joy in this journey. Yes, it's possible to be happy in this waiting room we are in.  While waiting I am learning more about who God is.

Ps. 119:123-124, "My eyes strain to see your deliverance, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled. I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your principles."

I must have blind faith in His time.

My need to wait overrides my need to understand.
My need to control takes a back seat to His Sovereignty.
My need to understand is overshadowed by His peace.
My need to feel complete is waived as He weaves a beautiful tapestry.  
As my eyes strain to see His promise, I have hope and joy as I wait to see His plans unfold. My raw dependence on His strength carries me through.

Dear God... perfect your faith in me no matter...how long it takes.   Your promises are perfect, so that means that you can only bring your Perfection to each promise.

Have you had to wait on God for a specific answer to prayer?  What did you learn in your waiting?

I Have a Secret For You

One of life's most exciting choices...is full surrender to Christ.  

And....then letting God work His full potential in your heart.  I am exploring the gift of writing that He has given and has confirmed over and over during the past year.  I have answered the call of obedience to put pen to paper, or put fingers to keyboard and write a book.  This is HUGE to me.  I feel like David when he was facing his giant.  

I am at the writer water's edge....gathering my gumption...looking at my own reflection staring back at me.  I am mesmerized as I blindly search for some rocks of God's faithfulness that I can stick in my pocket...hoping I only need one Rock to take this giant fear down.  The biggest step is forward, the biggest fear is myself.  

I really don't know how to do this...and that's what makes it so intimidating.  I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I am willing to try.  I do know though it won't be perfect.  That is a hurdle I've had to overcome in this process of writing my story to you.  I was wanting to write a perfect story, wrapped up in nice box with a pretty pink bow on top.  I kept waiting and waiting for it to look like I thought it should, when God dropped this in my heart.

"Why would I want you to write a perfect story?  That has already been written.

No, I want you to write your story.  The story I am still perfecting in you."

My response was one of doubt and dismay.  Why would anyone want to hear a broken and my not-so-pretty tale?  

Because it's His-story perfected in me.  

You have one too.  If I have learned anything in my walk of faith, God can take your uglies and perfect His beautiful.  The journey of God wrapping His story in my life in a nice-sweet-tidy-little package with a perfect pink bow is the exciting part.   God is changing me as His redeeming love penetrates my heart.  The more I hideout in His word, the more I want to be like Him. 

It's a story that's too good not to share.

You Are Pretty Much My Favorite

I have been camping out in Psalm 139 lately


and today...


I am able to write the difference.  


I can finally say with confidence that God's truth can change your forever.  

You are loved.  I am loved.  

I am okay knowing that each one of these posts will not be perfect.  I am not perfect, and can't think or write perfectly.  That doesn't mean I am not striving for God's best here, but I am fine with not being perfect in front of you. 

I understand that I can't be, and I am okay with that too.

I am great with uncovering and discovering who I am in Christ.  He has grown that desire in me.  As my faith grows, I can accept my imperfections, but also I am assured that I am "perfect" and beautiful in God's eyes.  


Psalm 139 reminds me that I am loved completely.  Not just loved because that I am made in God's image, but I was loved before I was even a tiny thought on God's mind.  I like to think that God dreamed a little when He thought about making me.  I like to imagine that God says...

 "You're pretty much my favorite of all time in the history of ever."  

Here's the life changing truth...He loves you like that too. 

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.  I know that full well."  Ps. 139:13-14


I am great with the idea of God dreaming of how He wanted to create.  When I was a younger "beauty"....I didn't know how God felt about me.  I certainly didn't think I was beautiful.  I didn't do own my truth research and took on the opinion of others as my own.  I fell into the comparison trap with my nameless imaginary childhood arch nemesis who was always skinnier, smarter and faster at making her bed than I was.  I set myself up for failure because I couldn't be the perceived perfection I just knew God had expected of me.  I had always felt like I couldn't or wouldn't measure up.


So today I am now able to write the difference.  I am okay with the way that God, in His infinite wisdom, made me who I am because I am loved beyond measure and because God doesn't compare His children.  

My loving Heavenly Father has reminded me of who I am.  

I wear His name, I wear His beauty.  

I am great with being an imperfect, forgiven daughter of the King.  That still gives God many chances to perfect His work in me, but also it gives more opportunities to be romanced by the work of His Holy Spirit.  

I am really okay with all of this lovely plan.  

I know that I am His.  I know...He's told me..often in Psalm 139.  

When it comes to believing truth and as I open the pages of God's heart, I believe what He says in His love letter to me in Psalm 139.

Have you read Psalm 139 lately??  Stop reading this and read that.

Are you speechless yet?

Today I am able to write the difference and guess what...I am great with that.