So far apart

My early drive into work couldn't have gotten any better really.  Usually I get to enjoy some holy moments with God listening to my Meredith Andrews CD that is seriously about get worn with my stillness in it 24/7.  Her inspiring lyrics make me tear up a lot actually.  No...seriously it's that good.  And her prayers set to music really resonate with my soul.  

Back to odd picture attached up above.  My story from the road.  As you can see, I am following a fried food carnival wagon boasting a menu of shrimp basket and an unthinkable temptation of a fried snickers, corn dogs and other assorted fried treats.  A typical menu offered with clowns and unique loud barkers who really just want your next dollar.  A familiar summer flair mixed with some county fair mullets...the combinations for  some crazy-good summer memories are quickly born.  This is the great state of Oklahoma people.

Back to the story from the road.  See how easily I get distracted?  Did I ever share with you about the story when God spoke to my heart about overeating and bowing down to food as an idol at a carnival? Yes... that really happened.  I just went back a year ago with every intention of re-writing that post, but after reading it again, I realized that it was transparent enough.  If you ever wanted to find out about a not-so-talked about part of my heart, well read a post called Painted Ponies.

Read it here...Painted Ponies.

Back to today, when my view from the road was the back of that funnel cake wagon, tears started to form as I thought about how far I had come since those Painted Pony days.  Yes, my heart and those days are so far apart.  So far gone are those days that I almost had to pull my black Chevy Malibu over so I could once again praise God for the wonderful work that He has done in my heart.  God knew I needed to follow the carnival wagon.  I needed to able to look at the back of this party barge on wheels and not be tempted nor even want to follow it.  I was a little disgusted at just looking at the words of what the truck was selling.

Oh it reminded me of the good times and the funny memories I have shared with my daughter, who makes the trek to the annual county fair a yearly date circled in red on her calendar.  The back of the truck also reminded me Who I was following. It served as a great reminder of grace.

The story from the road today was a great reminder of God's grace, of his daily graces that He gently gives me to remember the good things that He is doing in me.  I am so thankful I am not riding those painted ponies anymore.  I am so grateful for the strength to look away, and know that I am not following the lustful food desires of last summer.  So grateful for the change that God has done a new thing in my now 128 lb. weight loss.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I am so grateful for God's grace that doesn't give up on me when I seriously wanted to give up on myself and thought there was no way out.  I had given up hope of ever changing.  So glad that God brought the freedom and healing to my heart and removed those painted pony desires.

I could talk to you about this from now unto next week.  Deb knows...she listens to my stories from the road.  In fact, Lynn has been a part of this transformation process from his own success stories.  And who could forget the awesome encouragement of my pink-panted friend Tina.  God has brought some amazing cheerleaders along the way.  Andy, oh yeah...that guy, he always knew that I would get here.  And even though I can't mention all of you here, if you have been one to encourage me, we thank you for believing in what God could do with a willing heart.

God didn't give up on me.  And I am thankful for that today.

I can't forget about the wonderful things that my Wonderful Creator has re-made me into.  I am not a funnel-cake-eating-two-fisted-crazy-go-nuts over chocolate-lovin' girl any more.  No.  I am so far apart from that lifestyle.  So when I follow party food wagons driving down the road on an early morning drive...

well...it's one that I can pass by without another thought about painted ponies.  Tears of gratitude fall softly on my cheeks as I am so far apart from where I was.  But so close to God's grace on a daily basis and that is what I want to follow closely.

Would following a funnel cake truck tempt you?   What are you following?

Deal With It!

Under God's Microscope

At any given time, I have at least ten or more hurricanes of thought that torment my brain and my heart.


I cry, I hurt, I question.


God's word to me is "deal with it."  There are some things that I don't want to deal with.


I like to avoid conflict.  There is a lot of conflict within me that is under His microscope.  


As I dig deeper in into my muddled messes and clouded thoughts.....even there...I have the desire to stay.  I must remain here.


Stay.  Remain.  


Under His scrutiny.....I must deal with some unseen.    

I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.  Isaiah 45:3

The refining processes is going to hurt a little.   It might get a little hot.  An intense transformation is expected.


I want to run away....and look the other direction.  But I must ...


Deal with it...


There is One that won't leave.


God will stay.  He is the one asking me to stand firm.  He will not be moved.

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life.  
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  

I will  never leave you nor forsake you.  Joshua 1:5

What hard thing is God asking you dealing with?

Music Monday [Where I Belong]

At Winter Jam there were some volunteers sporting yellow hard hats and t-shirts.  They were the street team for Building 429 helping to push their product, but it gave a construction zone feel to the place.  They came out on stage they sang their set, but the lyrics of Where I Belong really hit my heart.  

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

Many times in construction zones, it gets really messy before it gets better.  There is pretty much a mess with materials and tools until the job is complete.  I often consider my life like a construction zone with God as the Master Planner.  He's got the blueprints and has designed me to obey and follow Him.  I often want to peek at the plans to see where we are headed.    One truth remains as I seek to follow and that is I am not "home" yet. 


Home is heaven and I have accepted His invitation to join Him in living my forever there.  That's where I belong.  So in this world that I live and in my home that I reside I have a blessed assurance that God is holding me and holding the plans for my tomorrows.  His assurance gives me comfort that this world is not a home that God created me for...He knew that I would just be passing through.  That's comforting, that helps.


In my construction zone of transformation, as I thrive to be more like Christ, there are a lot of twists, turns, walls being built, walls falling down.  The zone of change is quite active like a raging sea at times.  A lot of turmoil, a lot of trials, a lot of opportunities, a lot of impact.  But through it all, I have God's assurance...this is not where I belong.  Heaven is.