I Want to Remember This Forever

Dear God, it's me...again, your servant Mary.

Well, where should I start.  I want to write a 1000 sentences all at once.  And yet, I can't seem to get all of the words out.  You know the Something unbelievable that happened today. I just don't think I can really describe it.  Certainly, each time, my eyes get misty and my heart flutters. 

I so want to remember this moment forever.  

I never would have thought ...that my "someday"...my dreams of becoming a mom...are going to finally happen. I guess I didn't think it would come like...now. After all, I am only engaged to my love Joseph. But God the way you sent your stunning messenger, well wow....it was all just a such a "Surprise Me God" moment.

I want to remember Gabriel's bright shining gleam forever.

It's almost unbelievable really this whole matter.  When I told Elizabeth, there was something in her eyes and voice that confirmed that this wasn't just a baby. This was something she needed to hear too.  This baby will be great, a King, a Prince.  And God, with those thoughts, I am overwhelmed.  I am speechless yet overflowing with joy that I have never felt before.

I am giving birth to a King. Oh my....

I want to remember this heart feeling forever, this moment of awe, of joy, of anticipation of greatness.  When Hope comes, I want to be ready. There is so much to do. Oh.my.goodness. Breathe..Mary...Breathe...

I almost think I should be having a meltdown right now, I mean seriously the angel Gabriel said You were with me and "nothing is impossible", but exactly how is this "overshadowing" thing work? It sounds like such a miracle!  I just don't get it. If it hadn't been such a "burning bush moment", well I would have thought I was imagining the whole thing.

Oh God, remember your servant.....I am only thirteen.

I will have to admit, when the angel said I was highly favored! it was like You were melting my heart. Is that okay that I say that? And I have really heard You speak to my heart in Your tender voice, I heard from you just this morning.  And that sunrise ...sooooo beautiful!! 

I want to remember this forever....

When the words of 'favored' spilled out..God, You brought to mind the promise in Jeremiah 32:39 "I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me..." Singleness in my heart, my devotion and dedication, singleness in action would mean that all those times that I obeyed You, You noticed.  I really didn't know that you were watching me so close God, but I like it. 

I want to remember those words....highly favored by the Holy One. 

What are people gonna think? I am not married, and when this baby starts to grow I will be....noticed.  I know.... I will ask Joseph, he will believe me...oh God..he will believe me won't he? Wait till I tell Joseph the baby's name...he will love it...

Jesus, the Son of the Most High.

I want to remember his face forever when I tell him that name.

And when Joseph hears that this baby will reign over the house of Jacob forever; and that His kingdom will never end?  I am not even sure what all that means, but I am excited to share with my beloved. Oh my heart wants to sing this song forever. 

What love is this that comes in the form of a tiny baby, when Hope comes down, in the flesh and favors this humble servant.  Again, my heart overflows with worship now.

Oh, God steady my heart. It's so full.

I want to remember this forever. 

I want to remember that my Forever started here. 

I want to remember this Hope moment, when "Salvation is writing a song"

I am giving life to Hope.

Wow....

Someone Throw This Dog A Bone

Wilson needs a friend and a bone.

Have you ever lost a good friend?  Lately, it seems that God is calling some of mine to different seasons in their life. And honestly...it feels like giant, huge, chasm-like void since they have left because I connected with each of them on a more significant level of friendship. 

Friendships are something that have to be built. Companionship is built on trust. That inner-circle-trust-type-of-bond through adversity junky stuff that sticks with you closer than a brother type of friendship. I have the comfort in knowing that a listening ear is just a call or text away.  That really helps as I try not to think about the distance their move has caused.

These shifts have caused me to think about what I value in relationships.  Making friends doesn't come so easy as it looks for me, so that's why I need to pray for godly relationships so that God will surround my heart with His goodness, ones that will encourage, build up and not tear down, and will love me like I am.  

Are long distance friendships or relationships easy for anyone? 

It's tough when you have to bridge friendships over miles. There are some lonely dog-day times.  There are those days when you feel left out and excluded from every great friendship in the world, or at least feel like the last dog sitting alone in your living room with no one else around.  So empty inside.  Bewildered and overwhelmed and not to mention....lonely and you can't remember where you buried your best dog bone either.

I am not friendless but I will only confide in a few. For me, there has to be a certain level of protection to my private stuff. I will share in the most personal way, but you don't need to know everything about me. I tell God most of my secrets. It's a blessing to have friends, those that wear the skin of Jesus.

So look around and count your friends. And then thank them for being one to you. Think about this...you could die your whole life alone with um...say 21 cats and no friends. That is a mental image I just soon forget. And what about those feelings of loneliness?  God didn't create us to be alone or to be friendless. He created us to need each other. He has given us each different friend skills. To one of my best friends, He gave her the gift of listening. That's a great thing...because every time we are together she gets an ear full from me. Another friend has the uncanny gift of prayer and encouragement...yup, guess what I heepin' dose of...those attributes too.

See how this works? If you want friends you have to be a friend. And to maintain friendships you have to work hard through the tough rough adversity times when you won't agree, or see issues the same. And you have to build the bridge of relationships that matter and choose godly ones that will edify the body of Christ in the process.  Ask God to show you the trusty and friendly bonds He would have for you because you need friends you can depend on.  There are some deep-seated and godly relationships and friendships waiting for you.

Be willing to go the extra mile for them.  Be an investor in relationships.  It's the one of the unspoken need of most humans.  One day...you will need them to span the miles for you. Make time investments in building long lasting community. Be real, be a real friend that brings love to their troubled waters.  Love....them like they are, so they will love you like you are.

Believe me...it's hard work but worth it. The next time you need a kleenex because life slapped you hard in the face, you will wish you would have a few more friends. They will come running with their hands open wide,  carrying coffee and a muffin to make things better.  They are willing to help you get back up, and dust the dirt off.  It's nice to have a hand up out of the pits of life.  And then extend the hand of friendship to the lonely, the alone, the needy, the afflicted, the journeyman, the watchman at the gates, the missionaries, the concert-lovers, the life givers.  Surround yourself with those who will follow you to the mission field and back.  

Explore the gift of friendships, of investing in community. Befriend, be a broken vessel for God's friendship to flow through. Listen, be patient, love. It's needed and wanted. By each and every person you meet.

Be the friend you want to meet, be the friend you need in your own life.

Music Monday - {Steady My Heart}

Steady My Heart by Kari Jobe

There are days when the words that I pray just fail to match my emotions.  When that happens and my heart hurts, I just pray these words back to God and it helps.  It makes me feel like I have been heard by the One who cares.


When praying it gives me perspective to know that Someone cares.  It doesn't take away my circumstances, but I can think about how God likes to hold my heart.  When I pray "steady my heart" then I know I have what I have prayed for.  What I have learned is that sometimes God will remove what is making my heart hurt, or He will hold me through what hurts, or He will guide me through it, causing me to not look at the fallout but just staring at his firm steady hands as they hold me.


Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
‘Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars,
You steady my heart, You steady my heart


I'm not gonna worry
I know that You've got me
Right inside the palm of Your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way You plan


And I will run to You
I'll find refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
‘Cause of everything You are
You steady my heart



When life hurts you, or people disappoint...when pain weaves it's way in and through your body, when you have prayed and prayed and you feel like you are out of words...just pray these words back to God.  It helps.


When you think that God has forgotten about you and your problems, He hasn't.  His delay is not His denial.  Ask Him to steady your heart until He works His best for you.

  " What, then, shall we say in response to these things? 

If God is for us, who can be against us? 

 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—

how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" ~ Romans 8:31-32

What also helps is knowing that all good things come from God.  So if I have to wait, or seek His best answer in ways that are different,  I too can know my response to God...and have a steady heart.